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Recent content by Andie Kinney

  1. Andie Kinney

    Want emotional connection but can't make them

    I know how to do this, like, I know what is expected of me, but I just can't sustain it over time if it feels like I'm bothering the person or they are not interested in me. I know how to be vulnerable but I struggle to stay open when I feel unsafe. I think I'm too vulnerable sometimes and at...
  2. Andie Kinney

    Echolalia

    By "creating a balance" be is hurting you to re-establish a position of power in the relationship. it is just flat out abusive. Be will keep doing what he can stay in charge of the relationship and have control over your self-perception. Even if it is related to AS, it is still abuse.
  3. Andie Kinney

    Relationships, Friendships and other connections

    Talking about my experience making and maintaining meaningful connections and my feeling about my experiences.
  4. Andie Kinney

    Stopping meds due to side effects, living with effects of long term meds

    I have been off medications since February this year. I was prescribed Seroquel for a BPD dx and Topamax for seizures (I've been misdxed as BPD) I was on Seroquel for around 5 years and it was not helping anymore. I wanted to come off of it for a long time. I have been taking Topamax for over 15...
  5. Andie Kinney

    Mental Health

    A place to talk about my mental health struggles, triumphs and vent about frustrations. Living with mental health issues and developmental disability, healing from trauma.
  6. Andie Kinney

    Adopted father has cancer, I'm not sad but I feel guilty

    Thank you BraidedPony. Both of my adopted parents are abusive and most of my family is too, I am the favourite scapegoat. My younger sister told me they wear planning to visit him and ask if I wanted to go. I don't want to go but I don't feel like I could live with my self if I didn't go. I...
  7. Andie Kinney

    Adopted father has cancer, I'm not sad but feel guilty

    [Already posted in Forums] I found out that my adopted father has lymphoma and I don't feel sad. I was abused and have stopped talking to most of the adopted family. I didn't feel happy finding out but I wasn't sad either. I don't know if this is because of autism or trauma. I do feel anxiety...
  8. Andie Kinney

    Adopted father has cancer, I'm not sad but I feel guilty

    I found out that my adopted father has lymphoma and I don't feel sad. I was abused and have stopped talking to most of the adopted family. I didn't feel happy finding out but I wasn't sad either. I don't know if this is because of autism or trauma. I do feel anxiety and guilt because I'm not...
  9. Andie Kinney

    Adopted Family

    Writing about coping with the effects of being raised in an abusive adopted family. About coping with the long-term effects of emotional abuse and being raised undiagnosed/misdiagnosed. Learning how to live without the family after going no contact with most of them. About the intersections of...
  10. Andie Kinney

    Want emotional connection but can't make them

    I find it much easier to talk to people online. I like being able to think about what I say and having the freedom to interact or not. It's so weird to me that I seem to crave human connection and be repulsed by it at the same time.
  11. Andie Kinney

    "It would be so nice if something made sense for a change"...

    "It would be so nice if something made sense for a change" -Lewis Carol
  12. Andie Kinney

    Want emotional connection but can't make them

    I feel like I crave emotional connection but I am afraid to try because it never works. I feel lonely like I have no one to talk to, but I am averse to talking to people most of the time. I'm frustrated with myself because I am the reason for my lack of social support. Does anyone else...
  13. Andie Kinney

    New here, dealing with lack of appropriate support.

    Hi, How do I find a Dr. who specializes in Autism if i don't have a dx or a referral from a Dr? The cost of an assessment is more than I can afford an my fam Dr just thinks I make stuff up so he discourages me from pursuing my own ideas about my health.
  14. Andie Kinney

    New here, dealing with lack of appropriate support.

    I am new to this forum. I am newly self dxed and do not have appropriate community support. Self dxing has helped me make sense of so many things in my life that didn't make sense before. Accepting that I am on the spectrum has helped me tremendously. I have had to sacrifice the small bit of...
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