My day started slowly. I couldn't get out of bed until 9 a.m., until I got a call from my mom and dad who are on holiday in Asia. It cheered me up to see them.
I was watching some DIY decor and DIY thrift store clothing upgrade videos on YouTube by the channel TheSorryGirls (I very much recommend!) and it gave me motivation to go to the thrift store myself.
My to do list was as follows:
I ended completing all of these things on the list, as well as some extra shopping for vegetables and fruits.
- get ready quickly (even though I felt like spending a lot of time putting on make-up and choosing clothes), just choose an outfit and go
- go to the thrift store, look for new furniture for my room, maybe buy some clothes
- go to the library to work on an entry for a competition
Because I was inside during the past days, I hadn't noticed the good weather. So being outside today felt extra good.
I watched The Aviator tonight. It's about a guy who was left a lot of money after his parents' passing around 1920. He started a career in film making and aviation, in which he both succeeded very well. Yet he had severe OCD. Some of his behaviors I could relate to, some of them not at all.
The movie made me kind of sad. Not that it had a sad ending, this guy lived until the 1970s, but this person never looked happy. During work he was such a hard working person, but outside of it, he appeared to be dominated by his OCD.
I compare myself to him, which I maybe shouldn't do. He kept worrying about going out of his mind. At some point in the movie he was naked in this one room for a long period of time (as his beard grew longer). He couldn't touch anything, he kept repeating certain patterns of behaviors to himself and he couldn't get himself to drink some milk. He was also dealing with a lot of stress because his aviation business wasn't doing well financially. He looked so miserable.
Seeing this makes me think success (however you define it) comes with something bad. I used to have this vision of being successful and also being happy. I feel like I won't be able to get there because I will always have some degree of anxiety. That's why I'm sad.
I'm probably overthinking it (again), but on the other side, it's inspirational to see this guy reach amazing goals, even though he has OCD (and/or anxiety). I actually don't know what to take away from this movie. Maybe that isn't even necessary. It is a beautiful movie though, especially with Leonardo Dicaprio in the leading role.
Tomorrow my parents come back from their trip. I'm looking forward to it.
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Today was a good day