Here's a hypothetical situation.
Supposing you had a revulsion to green beans. I don't mean simply I don't like green beans, but you are downright revolted by them. Now say you just started working at a job that required a professional standard of conduct.
So you go into the cafeteria and the menu of the day is meatloaf, corn and green beans. Worse yet, the server just dropped the spoon she was using on the corn and just grabbed the one for the green beans. What do you do?
Supposing you say, I can't eat this because the spoon was in the green beans? The server says, Are you allergic to green beans? You say no. Well, what is the problem? Why can't you eat the green beans? Meanwhile people are backing up behind you. Many people only get a half hour to eat lunch and since travel time to and from the workstation is included in that half hour (it's a very large building) they are getting rather impatient. What do you do?
Now there are basically two choices. You can opt for the meatloaf without any vegetable or you can make a fuss about the spoons. Let's suppose you choose option two. You get very emotional. You simply cannot eat anything from a utensil that has touched those hated green beans. Eventually, just to get the line moving, the servers go find fresh spoons and you get your uncontaminated meatloaf and corn. Everyone is happy, right?
Wrong. By calling attention to the fact that you have a food issue that is neither religious, health or ethical in nature, you have just set yourself up. Not only are your fellow employees who have witnessed this scene going to whisper about you, so is the serving staff. Now, so far, word has not reached your supervisor about the near meltdown in the cafeteria.
So it is about a week later and again it is meatloaf, green beans and corn on the menu. This time the server is waiting for you. Maybe it is the same person, maybe it is someone new. Maybe they've had a ****** day and want to take it out on someone. Who knows. But this time, as you ease up to the counter the CEO and some VIP guests enter the room. You don't see them because they are behind you. But the server does, and as she hands you your plate of meatloaf and corn she first spoons some juice from the green beans all over your food. Because she knows that she will trigger a meltdown and that is exactly what she wants.
What do you do? Remember, this is not an allergy issue (health). This is not a religious issue (kosher or halal). This is not an ethical issue (vegetarian). The minute you open your mouth you are being put on the spot right in front of the CEO and guests. Are they going to be tolerant and understanding? Probably not. They are going to say to themselves WTF is going on here? And this time your supervisor will hear about it. And he or she will not have much choice about what action to take.
In short, you have a problem. Do you quietly take the "contaminated" food or do you--as the server is maliciously hoping--have a meltdown in front of the CEO and his guests? Which is more important to you--your job or your revulsion?
I once was in a choral group where every year we would have a party and exchange gifts. One year--I'll never forget this--a woman received a pair of antique peacock salt and pepper shakers. She immediately began shrieking and could not be calmed down. We were all baffled at her reaction. Finally someone offered to swap gifts which stopped her meltdown. I do not know if she was asked to leave the group but that was the last time we saw her. It was quite surprising because all year she had never given any indication that she had these kinds of issues. I don't know what became of this poor lady. But we all knew now that she had a problem with peacocks. Perhaps it was just as well she didn't come back because all it would have taken to set her off is one malicious person taking advantage of her phobia and bringing in peacock items.
That is why it is not a good thing to advertise to others (unless they are trusted friends!) that one has these kinds of issues. You are really setting yourself up to be hurt.
Supposing you had a revulsion to green beans. I don't mean simply I don't like green beans, but you are downright revolted by them. Now say you just started working at a job that required a professional standard of conduct.
So you go into the cafeteria and the menu of the day is meatloaf, corn and green beans. Worse yet, the server just dropped the spoon she was using on the corn and just grabbed the one for the green beans. What do you do?
Supposing you say, I can't eat this because the spoon was in the green beans? The server says, Are you allergic to green beans? You say no. Well, what is the problem? Why can't you eat the green beans? Meanwhile people are backing up behind you. Many people only get a half hour to eat lunch and since travel time to and from the workstation is included in that half hour (it's a very large building) they are getting rather impatient. What do you do?
Now there are basically two choices. You can opt for the meatloaf without any vegetable or you can make a fuss about the spoons. Let's suppose you choose option two. You get very emotional. You simply cannot eat anything from a utensil that has touched those hated green beans. Eventually, just to get the line moving, the servers go find fresh spoons and you get your uncontaminated meatloaf and corn. Everyone is happy, right?
Wrong. By calling attention to the fact that you have a food issue that is neither religious, health or ethical in nature, you have just set yourself up. Not only are your fellow employees who have witnessed this scene going to whisper about you, so is the serving staff. Now, so far, word has not reached your supervisor about the near meltdown in the cafeteria.
So it is about a week later and again it is meatloaf, green beans and corn on the menu. This time the server is waiting for you. Maybe it is the same person, maybe it is someone new. Maybe they've had a ****** day and want to take it out on someone. Who knows. But this time, as you ease up to the counter the CEO and some VIP guests enter the room. You don't see them because they are behind you. But the server does, and as she hands you your plate of meatloaf and corn she first spoons some juice from the green beans all over your food. Because she knows that she will trigger a meltdown and that is exactly what she wants.
What do you do? Remember, this is not an allergy issue (health). This is not a religious issue (kosher or halal). This is not an ethical issue (vegetarian). The minute you open your mouth you are being put on the spot right in front of the CEO and guests. Are they going to be tolerant and understanding? Probably not. They are going to say to themselves WTF is going on here? And this time your supervisor will hear about it. And he or she will not have much choice about what action to take.
In short, you have a problem. Do you quietly take the "contaminated" food or do you--as the server is maliciously hoping--have a meltdown in front of the CEO and his guests? Which is more important to you--your job or your revulsion?
I once was in a choral group where every year we would have a party and exchange gifts. One year--I'll never forget this--a woman received a pair of antique peacock salt and pepper shakers. She immediately began shrieking and could not be calmed down. We were all baffled at her reaction. Finally someone offered to swap gifts which stopped her meltdown. I do not know if she was asked to leave the group but that was the last time we saw her. It was quite surprising because all year she had never given any indication that she had these kinds of issues. I don't know what became of this poor lady. But we all knew now that she had a problem with peacocks. Perhaps it was just as well she didn't come back because all it would have taken to set her off is one malicious person taking advantage of her phobia and bringing in peacock items.
That is why it is not a good thing to advertise to others (unless they are trusted friends!) that one has these kinds of issues. You are really setting yourself up to be hurt.
