One day Ilford town Hall got demolished to make way for a big long bath that was needed for people who washed every 250 years.
At the far end stood an enormous man whose job was to throw bathers into the bath.
Here are the rules that you need before you use this bath.
1. Every person has to wash himself in custard until his skin
as smooth as a toilet pan.
2. Drink plenty of disinfectant.
3. Wash your hair with sandwich spread.
4. Take your head off and microwave it. This is to make it fit
enough to use by the time you?re ready to have your bath.
Once ready take your freshly cooked head out of the
microwave and return it to your body.
5. Forget about Ilford Station because it no longer exists, otherwise the bath will vanish and you?ll find yourself having a bath on the railway line.
The big long bath, approximately 1000 yards long was an enormous success.
Year after year people flocked to Ilford- On- Bath, as the resort was called, to take the plunge in the monster size bath.
The whacking great big man who threw people into the bath was the bath attendant. He weighed 200 Stone.[/B]
