Teasing

I have problems with being teased. I don't like it, especially when it comes from someone I don't know. I used to think it was because I couldn't tell the difference between friendly teasing and hostile teasing, or at least I was told that. But now I think it is other people who can't tell the difference.

Teasing, to me, is like sex. You have to earn the right and you have to earn my respect and you have to ask my permission. You don't just waltz in and start teasing away.

Now, I don't mind kidding around with good friends, if it is mutually established that we are good friends. I kid around with my friends at church a lot. But there is kidding around that leaves everyone in a good mood and then there is the kidding around designed to establish superiority.

There's a fellow that I work with who, when he sees me in the cafeteria, calls out my name in a exaggerated, drawn-out way. I haven't heard him do that to anyone else. That immediately puts me on my guard, as does the coworker who talks overly loud to me, but not to anyone else. There is a reason they are doing this, and I don't believe that it is benign. These people are going out of their way to treat me differently, and not in a good way. Invariably these are also the same people who act shocked to find out that you really don't like them after all, and why? Because you do not treat me as you do other people. You do not give me the respect you give other people. You think I am so dumb, so retarded I don't notice. Well, I do.

This is a subtle form of bullying. The other day this fellow mentioned to me about going to see my play on Tuesday night. Well it ended last Saturday, and he knew that. Now there is no good reason for him to say that to me. The truth is, he had no intention of going. Which is fine with me, but why tell me an obvious untruth? You couldn't have gone to see me on Tuesday because we don't do performances on Tuesday and all you have to do is check the theater website. So you are not earning any brownie points with me by coming up with this ********.

Now an observer is not going to see this as bullying or teasing because an observer wouldn't know what the hell the exchange was about. They would not understand what was going on. They might even make excuses, oh, he was mistaken about the night. No. He was not. This was a deliberate attempt to get a rise out of me. Well it failed. But it's things like this that make me wary around certain people. I think deep down he knows I really don't trust him because I don't go out of my way to be around him or to speak to him. There was another incident, seemingly minor, in which he promised earlier to bring me a magazine article I was interested in but every time he saw me he had an excuse why he didn't have it. Well, again, I wouldn't give him the satisfaction of begging. I just acted like I didn't care. Which I didn't. Because I knew I could get it elsewhere. Finally he did bring it, after I had lost interest. Again, I don't know what his game was here, but it was not impressing me in the least.

Now maybe he and that other person really want to be friends with me but don't know how. I find that very hard to believe simply because I do not see them treating anyone else that way. So I am thinking they don't really want to be friends with me. They want me to be the butt of their jokes.

But according to other well-meaning people, this sort of thing doesn't go on. It is I who am misinterpreting things. It is I who doesn't know what is going on. I am supposed to smile and go along with this and everyone will be happy.

And so I do. After all, I am an actress.