REASONS WHY I HATE JAY-Z
In the nineties, there emerged a mysterious rapper. He became famous for inventing words, having a hot wife and having every celebrity iN THE ****ING BOOK on his side. But I beg to dream and differ. I hate this man like poison and here are a few reasons why...
1. He will do anything to make a buck
Rip off a classic musical? Yep- Oliver and Annie have both been skewered. What's next- The Phantom Of The H.O.V.A?
Exploit his newborn child? Sure did... Big deal mate! Your daughter's the youngest person in the world to be featured on a number one hit. How did you get all that RECORDING EQUIPMENT into the Maternity Ward?
Say he is the new Jehovah? Check. That's like The Beatles saying they were Bigger Than Jesus.
2. He ripped off Tupac in one song. And it was ******...
Only Tupac could pull off "Me and My Girlfriend" without sounding like a douchebag. You ripped off the whole song in "03 Bonnie and Clyde".
3. A six year old could rap better than he does.
I'll take Lil Wayne over Jay-Z anyway. Sure, he struggles at the start, but when he gains momentum he is unstoppable.
Jay-Z raps at his own slow pace.
4. He has a face like a bulldog
I read in Zoo Weekly that "intense careerism makes up for having a face like a bulldog". This does NOT make sense!
5. He was DEAD WRONG about the DEATH OF AUTOTUNE
It was a kickass song. It even beat "Beautiful" by Eminem at the Grammy's. And I LOLed at the line "Bring me a blonde with a fat ass that can sing a song". But when he failed to bring down AutoTune? That's when I drew the line.
6. He has everyone on his side
From Eminem and U2 everyone seems to like him, no matter how lame and unoriginal he is.
7. He ripped off The Beatles
Okay, so when he worked with Linkin Park he kicked a massive amount of arse! But then he tried to do a mashup album using Beatles songs. I wonder what Paul McCartney thought of this? It's like everyone wants all their copyrights and that's just stupid.
If it ain't Lennon/ McCartney don't try to fix it!
So there you have it. Seven reasons why I hate the self-proclaimed H.O.V.A. Feel free to agree or disagree with me here.
Thank you for reading,
Tim Goodwin
In the nineties, there emerged a mysterious rapper. He became famous for inventing words, having a hot wife and having every celebrity iN THE ****ING BOOK on his side. But I beg to dream and differ. I hate this man like poison and here are a few reasons why...
1. He will do anything to make a buck
Rip off a classic musical? Yep- Oliver and Annie have both been skewered. What's next- The Phantom Of The H.O.V.A?
Exploit his newborn child? Sure did... Big deal mate! Your daughter's the youngest person in the world to be featured on a number one hit. How did you get all that RECORDING EQUIPMENT into the Maternity Ward?
Say he is the new Jehovah? Check. That's like The Beatles saying they were Bigger Than Jesus.
2. He ripped off Tupac in one song. And it was ******...
Only Tupac could pull off "Me and My Girlfriend" without sounding like a douchebag. You ripped off the whole song in "03 Bonnie and Clyde".
3. A six year old could rap better than he does.
I'll take Lil Wayne over Jay-Z anyway. Sure, he struggles at the start, but when he gains momentum he is unstoppable.
Jay-Z raps at his own slow pace.
4. He has a face like a bulldog
I read in Zoo Weekly that "intense careerism makes up for having a face like a bulldog". This does NOT make sense!
5. He was DEAD WRONG about the DEATH OF AUTOTUNE
It was a kickass song. It even beat "Beautiful" by Eminem at the Grammy's. And I LOLed at the line "Bring me a blonde with a fat ass that can sing a song". But when he failed to bring down AutoTune? That's when I drew the line.
6. He has everyone on his side
From Eminem and U2 everyone seems to like him, no matter how lame and unoriginal he is.
7. He ripped off The Beatles
Okay, so when he worked with Linkin Park he kicked a massive amount of arse! But then he tried to do a mashup album using Beatles songs. I wonder what Paul McCartney thought of this? It's like everyone wants all their copyrights and that's just stupid.
If it ain't Lennon/ McCartney don't try to fix it!
So there you have it. Seven reasons why I hate the self-proclaimed H.O.V.A. Feel free to agree or disagree with me here.
Thank you for reading,
Tim Goodwin
