The problem with having a boyfriend who reads your blog is that your boyfriend reads your blog. So if he does something to annoy you and you write about it, you risk escalating the conflict when all you wanted to do was air your dirty laundry to six billion other people who may or may not relate to you. Thank goodness, I know of at least two websites where I have a "back up blog" as a part of membership package.
Todd Farm is a massive flea market in Rowley, Mass. I went there a few weeks ago with my BF to help him sell some of his stuff. This was not without it's own drama, but I'll save it for another time. Suffice it to say, the current drama was over the following discussion yesterday afternoon. Today was also a Todd Farm day and I actually had things of my own to sell, but here's the reason why I didn't go with BF in the end.
The following conversation is not entirely verbatim, but it is the gist of what was said.
BF: Customers don't like it when you ask them, "How are you this morning?" It distracts them from actually looking at our table.
Me: Um... no it doesn't.
BF: Yeah, just say "Hello" or "good morning?
Me: Okay, I'm being polite and letting them know that I am there and ready to answer any questions. How is "How are you this morning" any different from "Hello?" And what if someone doesn't feel like being told it's a "good" morning?
BF: Well, it just throws them off.
Me: Okay, we sold a ton of stuff last time, more than we expected. Do you actually have the numbers to prove just sitting there and saying hello is any more profitable than being visible and saying "How are you this morning?"
BF: *just nods*
Pfft, of course he does. Then I pointed out to him that customer are more likely to be annoyed by the fact that when he agrees to a lower price for one of his items and doesn't have singles on hand to make change with, the customer is then forced to ask other people if they can break a ten, or a twenty. I had to actually suggest taking some money out so that we had change on hand for those occasions as well as suggesting that we have a pen and pad on hand to keep track of what we sell so that there's no confusion about who has what amount coming to them.
Finally after this back and forth, BF came clean and said,
BF: Well, I just sit there and listen to you say, "How are you this morning?" to every customer and it's really annoying.
Ah, the plot thickens. This had nothing to do with his imaginary concern for the customer, but with his own personal comfort. And if he had come right out and said that, I would have modified my behavior to make him comfortable.
Case in point, when I first moved in with him, he told me he doesn't like the term "asshole". Doesn't like it when anyone uses it. Fine, I don't agree with him, but I have made sure never to use that term around him. And when I told him that it really annoys me when he addresses every vaguely Asian-looking person with "Niho" it's slightly offensive and I wish he would stop doing it. He agreed, but trust me, that was the tip of the iceberg in regards to his "adorable racism". You don't know what I've allowed to slide when I'm out and about in public with him because I don't expect to change every single aspect of his personality and I appreciate him returning the respect in regards to mine.
What gets me the most is that when I called him out on the fact that he clearly lied to me about what was bothering him, he acted like I was in the wrong. He wanted me to just drop it, because his attempt to make me eat crow backfired. Isn't it funny how people love to rub salt in your wounds but they expect you to "Forgive and forget"? And this was over something so arbitrary. He told me not to get upset and not to make "mountains out of molehills" which is hilarious, because he was the one who made the mountain over an arbitrary greeting to customers.
Well, now he is on his own at the flea market. He finally apologized but that was more to shut me up than to actually admit wrong doing on his part. Today is being treated as a cool down time away from each other.
Todd Farm is a massive flea market in Rowley, Mass. I went there a few weeks ago with my BF to help him sell some of his stuff. This was not without it's own drama, but I'll save it for another time. Suffice it to say, the current drama was over the following discussion yesterday afternoon. Today was also a Todd Farm day and I actually had things of my own to sell, but here's the reason why I didn't go with BF in the end.
The following conversation is not entirely verbatim, but it is the gist of what was said.
BF: Customers don't like it when you ask them, "How are you this morning?" It distracts them from actually looking at our table.
Me: Um... no it doesn't.
BF: Yeah, just say "Hello" or "good morning?
Me: Okay, I'm being polite and letting them know that I am there and ready to answer any questions. How is "How are you this morning" any different from "Hello?" And what if someone doesn't feel like being told it's a "good" morning?
BF: Well, it just throws them off.
Me: Okay, we sold a ton of stuff last time, more than we expected. Do you actually have the numbers to prove just sitting there and saying hello is any more profitable than being visible and saying "How are you this morning?"
BF: *just nods*
Pfft, of course he does. Then I pointed out to him that customer are more likely to be annoyed by the fact that when he agrees to a lower price for one of his items and doesn't have singles on hand to make change with, the customer is then forced to ask other people if they can break a ten, or a twenty. I had to actually suggest taking some money out so that we had change on hand for those occasions as well as suggesting that we have a pen and pad on hand to keep track of what we sell so that there's no confusion about who has what amount coming to them.
Finally after this back and forth, BF came clean and said,
BF: Well, I just sit there and listen to you say, "How are you this morning?" to every customer and it's really annoying.
Ah, the plot thickens. This had nothing to do with his imaginary concern for the customer, but with his own personal comfort. And if he had come right out and said that, I would have modified my behavior to make him comfortable.
Case in point, when I first moved in with him, he told me he doesn't like the term "asshole". Doesn't like it when anyone uses it. Fine, I don't agree with him, but I have made sure never to use that term around him. And when I told him that it really annoys me when he addresses every vaguely Asian-looking person with "Niho" it's slightly offensive and I wish he would stop doing it. He agreed, but trust me, that was the tip of the iceberg in regards to his "adorable racism". You don't know what I've allowed to slide when I'm out and about in public with him because I don't expect to change every single aspect of his personality and I appreciate him returning the respect in regards to mine.
What gets me the most is that when I called him out on the fact that he clearly lied to me about what was bothering him, he acted like I was in the wrong. He wanted me to just drop it, because his attempt to make me eat crow backfired. Isn't it funny how people love to rub salt in your wounds but they expect you to "Forgive and forget"? And this was over something so arbitrary. He told me not to get upset and not to make "mountains out of molehills" which is hilarious, because he was the one who made the mountain over an arbitrary greeting to customers.
Well, now he is on his own at the flea market. He finally apologized but that was more to shut me up than to actually admit wrong doing on his part. Today is being treated as a cool down time away from each other.
