Nowadays i am feeling calm and accepting of what fate has in store with me. I still have the fear of suicide deep inside me but even that does not make me anxious. I will try to endure what life will bring me and i pray it won't be too painful.
What i want to stop doing is making extra effort to keep friends and seem normal. Not only it is exhausting but it makes me feel worthless and like a lower class of human being. I want to make equal effort as other people, to keep friendships, relationships, doing daily chores even. If my effort is not enough for them, they will Just have to deal with it. And if being myself means i will be left alone, i will endure it. I will endure until i die and i pray that i will have a peaceful death.
What i want to stop doing is making extra effort to keep friends and seem normal. Not only it is exhausting but it makes me feel worthless and like a lower class of human being. I want to make equal effort as other people, to keep friendships, relationships, doing daily chores even. If my effort is not enough for them, they will Just have to deal with it. And if being myself means i will be left alone, i will endure it. I will endure until i die and i pray that i will have a peaceful death.
