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Day 5: I was wondering where this post went

I got frustrated that i lost my entry and didnt make anew one. but here it is:

I did not sleep good. One thing that makes me more depressed than my personal life woes is my job woes. i feel super underappreciated, but what's worse is that, i feel that its justified. I have been in my industry for 7 years, practicing for 6, and people still undermine me. i think, how am i supposed to feel worth something, if everyone around me is saying i am trash? i think about this in regards to the males i work with mostly. they are very mysogynistic (although they'll swear theyre not), and of course racists. I have to bite my tongue all the time because I have no one in my corner. Work makes me feel really worthless, but its not the field. its me. people just always treat me like i'm an idiot, or a child. I am 6'1 and almost thirty. i am not a child. i have a degree. i am smart. i am worried the stress from work will make me go back into crying everyday. i dont like going back to that place. its time consuming and makes me tired.

my personal life is stable. but i am mostly thinking about me and my self-edification. i am tired of caring what boys think, even though i am in a relationship again. it just doesn't work. i must focus on myself and my goals, and if anyone wants to come with me, then take a number and we'll call you in for an interview. but please keep in mind that its a highly sought after job with multiple credential requirements and long hours. no holidays.


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