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Day 13: A late night entry

I sit at work. I had a cancellation, but still made money. This is good. I wrote a paper for class and turned in my responses. I thought it was funny that in one response, a student put immolate instead of emulate. immolate means to burn at the stake apparently.

I am realizing, I am still learning about myself. There is so much about me that is good that I don't know about yet. I have to keep persevering. I am always focused on how I'm hurt, and on here, I write about that a lot, but inside I am always considerate. Inside I am much more patient than I appear, because I know that I have my own downfalls. I would say that humbles me, but i fear its mostly rooted in insecurity.

My greatest fear is to be prideful, but I know at the same time i am not humble in a true sense. Humble to me means knowing your own greatness but not feeling the desire to show it. What I am is insecure, and that sometimes ignites a false sense of pride within me. I hate that part about myself. However I feel that even though I am not confident, I forced myself to do alot of things because i never wanted to live my life in regret. I may take that term of "seize the day" too literally.

One day I feel that I should write a book about my life. I feel like its very interesting, but (i believe) with ASD, we are very good at entertaining ourselves. I like that part about myself as well. I like how much fun it can be being me, even in a small room and no friends. I may be depressed, but I am seldom bored.


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