i think one of my problems in the past was me not sleepin enough. I have been working hard to fix that. i have put my screens on all yellow light before going to bed, reading before going to bed. i think this is helping my mood a lot. i cant stay up because my cat always wakes me up at 7am. the only thing i wish i could do is block the window so no light comes in. yesterday i also didnt need to smoke to go to sleep. that was good.
i had a dream that i was a werewolf and i intimiated a younger girl werewolf cuz she was tryin to be a trouble maker at my house.
I like the darkness. not because its dark. but because i dont like sun touching my skin. i may or may not be a vampire.
i really need to get with my reading for school. I am not a reading learning. i learn best by a combination of audio and visual. and i have a short attention span so its hard for me to focus. but i believe in myself.
i am hoping things at work go my way. it has been very stressful hearing lies from my boss. he says he has my back but he does not. i want to quit but have no where to go. i dont want to do any other job. when my counselor said she would appoint me to a person to help me, i said, i dont want to change jobs. but the lady who called talked to me about jobss, then i told her i had one, and then she was confused why i was referred to her. i like my counselor but she never follows through, and i havent reached out to her. she says shes doing all these thigns to help me, but nothing has happened. she didnt even sigh my pet depsit waiver in time, like a month later and it was already too late. It is draining going to a counselor. i need to reach out to her one i get my real computer back. but i hate that nothing gets done.
i didnt cry today or yesterday. this is good. i looked very good yesterday. i think it has to do with sleep and tha tim washing my face 2 times a day instead of occasionally. its been a month and i see results. it really hard for me to be motivated to clean. but since i am working on myself, i am trying to be better with being clean. the next step is cleaning my house.
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