Self care seems out of reach sometimes at least the way its portrayed to me. Self care is trips across the world and new dresses. Self care is spa days and afternoon naps. Self care is a glass of wine and therapy appointment. I did none of that.
I stayed up all night worried about my health and the future and my legs just kept bothering me. Itching and tingling . I zoned out not really caring about the show I was watching tossing and turning trying to find comfort in the discomfort. Then finally at 5am I stood up. I took the 10 steps to my bathroom, I peeled off my leggings and turned on the shower. I washed my body careful to not get my zio monitor wet, I shaved my legs ridding them of the hair that becomes a sensory nightmare, I sat on the toilet when my legs turned purple and my feet got hives and then I exfoliated them, I put body butter on them to rid them of their dryness, and then I cried.
That was the most care I have felt towards myself in a long time.
Maybe I have more blood tests to do and a thyroid ultrasound, maybe I had a migraine three days ago and just now am I able to sit up without feeling immediate massive fatigue, and maybe the only shower I can have is at 5am with my legs turning purple but I did it.
And guess what? My legs don’t itch and tingle anymore.
I stayed up all night worried about my health and the future and my legs just kept bothering me. Itching and tingling . I zoned out not really caring about the show I was watching tossing and turning trying to find comfort in the discomfort. Then finally at 5am I stood up. I took the 10 steps to my bathroom, I peeled off my leggings and turned on the shower. I washed my body careful to not get my zio monitor wet, I shaved my legs ridding them of the hair that becomes a sensory nightmare, I sat on the toilet when my legs turned purple and my feet got hives and then I exfoliated them, I put body butter on them to rid them of their dryness, and then I cried.
That was the most care I have felt towards myself in a long time.
Maybe I have more blood tests to do and a thyroid ultrasound, maybe I had a migraine three days ago and just now am I able to sit up without feeling immediate massive fatigue, and maybe the only shower I can have is at 5am with my legs turning purple but I did it.
And guess what? My legs don’t itch and tingle anymore.
