Worry, fear and anxiety management

[Shohei79]

I read that heightened fear, worry or anxiety is common when on the spectrum. For me it seems to be correct. I get easily stressed over what people said, or what I said. I am thinking about the eventual negative outcomes=easily painful for me.

Even if I know that it is so and when it can be difficult to manage it when it actually happens. Have you experienced that yourself and do you have any advice?

 

[Judge]

I just continue to live with it. But I hate that it's so easy to gravitate to a worst case scenario. I try to rationalize that there's no point in jumping to such conclusions, but I also know it will inevitably happen again and again.

Just another thing where in most cases I just learn to soldier on...

 

[Stuttermabolur]

It depends on the situation. In some way, I care much less than most about what others think of me. As a kid, I had my own way of behaving despite being different than others. In some ways, I was even proud of being "unique". My mother often congratulated me on not succumbing to peer pressure and I was antipathic towards my classmates.

Nowadays, I know I'm very weird, so if some stranger notices it, I don't tend to care as I'll probably never see them again, so it most likely won't affect me in any way.

When it comes to people I do know and respect, it's the complete opposite, and I can have great anxiety about them having a negative perception of me. That's why I strive never to be late (I can get very upset if something delays me) and try to be careful and accurate about my wording. I also hold back more on what I say than around strangers. I often have a much easier time socializing with strangers than people I know, precisely because I'm not as worried, and thus tend to be more off the wall and openly weird. If I then meet them again, I can appear to be a completely different person.

 

[Au Naturel]

I read that heightened fear, worry or anxiety is common when on the spectrum. For me it seems to be correct. I get easily stressed over what people said, or what I said. I am thinking about the eventual negative outcomes=easily painful for me.

Even if I know that it is so and when it can be difficult to manage it when it actually happens. Have you experienced that yourself and do you have any advice?

Learning not to worry about things you cannot control is the work of a lifetime. If you have any control, exercise it and then let it go. "Catastrophizing" can be unlearned, though. you never quite get all the way there.

There are some meds that can help. Just like for depression and more general anxiety.

CBT is a good option for people experiencing constant fear and anxiety. If you can't/won't visit a CBT therapist, you may gain benefit from philosophy. The study of Zen Buddhism helps many people. So does the practice of Greek Stoicism.

 

[Rodafina]

Definitely relate. Anxiety has ruled my life. I am working to quell the voices of madness now, but as @Au Naturel said, it is a lifelong process.

Advice that has been given to me over time that has been very helpful is to learn and practice calm breathing. Making calming breathing a regularly occurring thing for me has been very helpful. Also, finding outlets to express worry, and then buckling down and finding distractions to keep my focus on neutral or positive things instead of just doom and gloom and fear.

 

[Skittlebisquit]

It might be useful to try and record what it is you are afraid of. Looking back on last weeks irrational fears, it puts things in perspective for me. Bc all of whatever it was that i was all spooky about mostly didnt happen. Isolation is not healthy, really. It wears down the personality until there is little one has in common with other folk.

In terms of strategy for the issue? It depends on your beliefs alot. If you are rational objectivist, then charms will not avail you. But I would likely let you call me from somewhere, most people would on here. Thats super helpful, bc its almost what you need. And what you need, is support, like friends to figuratively hold your hand. Shopping especially is best done in teams.

I feel very safe using telegram. I give out the telegram number to basically anyone. You might ask some of the IT gurus here, there are a few, but it seems safe enough to me. Its a chat/texting app. With a voice chat feature.

That helps alot with the wobbly walls and sheer panic issues in public. Like a lifeline. Just some company on errands is likely a good idea anyways. For safety. I get the impression that many people on here are very isolated socially, maybe you are too. I certainly am.

In private, its another bag. Thats on you. Its training mostly, and learning to be well. And what it is in your diet thats not a good choice, if thats an issue. Such as caffiene, alchohol tobacco high fructose corn syrup, there is a long list. How much can you exercise without getting hurt? Can you get a decent bicycle and use it where you are at? Bikes are very soothing to many. Are you doing any art?

Meditation, hydration, exercise. Self hypnosis aka affirmations, there are alot of tools you can learn.

One thing to remember is you are not broken. And you are likely wrong about something like "everyone hates me" kind of thinking. Most people dont even notice you as much as you think. You are also not alone. Best wishes

 

[Kisa the tea]

This sounds exactly like me. I overworry about the future often. I don't really have any good advice other than to try and distract yourself if you can.

 

[Mr. Stevens]

I read that heightened fear, worry or anxiety is common when on the spectrum. For me it seems to be correct. I get easily stressed over what people said, or what I said. I am thinking about the eventual negative outcomes=easily painful for me.

Even if I know that it is so and when it can be difficult to manage it when it actually happens. Have you experienced that yourself and do you have any advice?

I've definitely experienced this, but less so when I could be myself. I think the main reason we, as Autistics, deal with this is we are rarely allowed to be ourselves.

It's easy to feel stressed over what others said because most of them are not Autistic, and communicate differently. This is necessarily a guessing game for us, and thus stressful. The issue is not us, though, but the situation. Unfortunately, it's not an Autistic society, so we can only leave these situations to some degree.

In the moment we may have to manage anxiety, but doing so constantly doesn't make sense. That only means you are unnaturally anxious and the issue is probably environmental more than personal.