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Work, noise & really annoying people

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by Binary_Bark, Sep 22, 2021.

  1. Binary_Bark

    Binary_Bark Member

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    Ever since my diagnosis I started to understand my aversion to noise, bright lights and not liking being touched or touching other people.
    Now as I have said here before that ASD here in RSA is not a very well-supported nor any real awareness toward any form of autism in general.

    After the diagnoses I bought a set of noise-canceling headphones, and they have really helped, now it's not the very best on the market because I'm not paying ZAR5500-00 (±$372.21) for a set of headphones. In general, it has lowered my irritation and anxiety at work, driving and generally going to the shops.

    Because of the ignorance towards ASD in RSA and people mostly seeing it as something that a pill or doctor could just cure, I've refrained from mentioning it to anyone I work with or know well. With this there are two main people in our office that are the biggest instigators of noise and making it, if you ask them to please tone down the volume, they tend to go the more juvenile way and try to be even loader, more brash and obnoxious. I find myself annoyed to no end even just hearing their voice in the morning (remember, the headphones are not the best you can get) I want to staple their mouth shut with our industrial stapler.

    This does affect my mood for the day, because I have no idea of how to deal with this, in general I steer clear from any form of confrontation, I tend to just shut off completely or just walk away.
    My psychologist said that she is going to get me started on something called Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)
    Have any of those here ever deal with something like this and how did you deal with it?

    TA
     
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  2. Au Naturel

    Au Naturel Au Naturel

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    Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is always my first suggestion to anyone dealing with situations that cannot be changed. I also push Zen Buddhism and classical Stoicism. Read the works of Albert Camus. Acceptance is how we make peace with the absurdity of life.

     
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  3. Rainbowcat

    Rainbowcat Well-Known Member

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    I was working in a noisy enviroment at a company , where the whole floor had open offices with employees, that means you could hear everyone talking on the phone, eating, typing,drinking water/coffe or smelling food of others. It was very distracting for me. I was listening to music through earphones, but the coworkers did not let me . I was there for an internship. It lasted 6 months. I could not stay longer.
    So from now own i don't choose to work in such companies. During my internship i received my diagnosis of being in the Autism Spectrum.


    You can try speaking to your manager and tell him a white lie about having very strong migraines and if he can transfer you to a quiter office. I don't know how big your company is. Try to find a solution with your manager, cause it seems that even a neurotypical person would be bothered by such noisy coworkers!
     
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  4. Raggamuffin

    Raggamuffin Well-Known Member

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    I work in an open plan office and the noise is often intolerable. I went to HR and was allowed to use headphones. I bought some noise cancelling over ear headphones and they make the world of difference. The only issue is they make me feel more isolated.

    So I guess I have to take the rough with the smooth in that respect. I said the other day on my Discord group that alienation is a constant battle when you're on the spectrum, to which one of my friends replied "only if you let it".

    I get where he's coming from, but at the same time it infuriated me.

    Ed
     
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  5. Binary_Bark

    Binary_Bark Member

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    Think I'm way past the alienation of myself with the work collogues.
    It's just the discomfort and irritability that these people bring. Once our GM leaves it get 10x worse and constant
     
  6. free will

    free will New Member

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    We were asked to go back to the office one day a week when Covid was eliminated. One of the guys was so noisy on the phone; really disturbed me. I just started to WFH on that day and no one said anything. Covid is back so everyone is WFH now. Looking forward to end of lockdown restrictions but not to going back to office. Just bought some good Sony noise cancelling earphones; my sanity is worth the price.

    CBT is good for my anxiety but not sure if it helps much with sensory issues
     
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  7. Binary_Bark

    Binary_Bark Member

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    Think the CBT would help on the getting irritated and then to anger issue of it. Try and deal with it in a better manner. As said, I don't do confrontations of any kind, so the necessity of dealing with it in another way is important.
     
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  8. Raggamuffin

    Raggamuffin Well-Known Member

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    I don't do confrontations around colleagues, or even friends. Only people I seem to do it around is those who I've dated or my parents. It's difficult to say "no" or to set boundaries and let people know if they're crossing a line. The other problem is, when I do snap - it's over trivial things. So then I load up on guilt, both internally and after being chastised by parents or partners when they see my overreaction. Thus I attach a lot of shame for standing up for myself.

    I met a friend last night who works in a prison. From what I've read there's a high proportion of prisoners with mental health issues, including ADHD and autism. He said that often it's just a case of someone snapping - often over something trivial. Personally I think it could be a result of a lifetime of trying to fit in, and mask and then one day - there's a straw that breaks the camal's back and they go postal.

    I live with a genuine fear that one day I will do the same. Society would obviously see no justification for someone losing it over something trivial, and it's clear that a mental health diagnosis will do little to prevent someone going to prison.

    Ed
     
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  9. Binary_Bark

    Binary_Bark Member

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    Think one of my biggest fears is that I might say something I should not have or think about things I should have said instead for days afterwards.
    The snapping one day, well that is something I'm really afraid of me doing one day.
     
  10. Raggamuffin

    Raggamuffin Well-Known Member

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    Yeah, I replay events over and over again in my head. Pondering how it could've been done differently etc. I mask well though - it's not easy though. It's exhausting and extremely stressful. I guess repressed would be a better term than mask. So I rarely snap, because I know the consequences are bad.

    What people don't realise is that those moments we do snap is little more than a storm in a tea cup. I don't think they could begin to imagine living with that sort of emotional regulation issues day in day out.

    Ed
     
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  11. Rainbowcat

    Rainbowcat Well-Known Member

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    I often say things that i should not. This is one of my biggest issues , people get irritated by hearing things that are not filtered thoughts. My mother gets constantly irritated with me being like that and i am like that since i was able to speak.
    So this issue creates for me a lot of problems during my daily life, where i need to keep my mouth shut and do quietly my business.
     
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  12. Binary_Bark

    Binary_Bark Member

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    This exactly has caused me to just not speak at all. I can go a week without saying a word to anyone, just nodding and or grunts coupled with just sending emails and text, because those I can filter to an extent.
     
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  13. Rainbowcat

    Rainbowcat Well-Known Member

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    That sounds a solution, but a solution with a cost. I can imagine it's not easy at all not to speak and just nodd.
     
  14. Binary_Bark

    Binary_Bark Member

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    Actually, not that difficult at all, could do it since I was a little spring chicken
     
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  15. jleeb05

    jleeb05 Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    I hate ambient noise from co-workers. I'm dealing with this myself. We just went back into the office after 18 months of working from home. Prior to the pandemic, my co-worker and I were the only people from our department on the entire floor. It was great, I could come in without running into anyone and I would often keep the lights off for hours until I was ready to socialize. They have now all moved onto our floor and I'm sandwiched between two particularly loud co-workers. I don't know if I want to wear headphones every day that we're in the office but thankfully we still work from home half the time.

    I have a white noise machine that helps a bit if that type of noise doesn't bother you. I think CBT could be helpful as well.
     
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  16. SDRSpark

    SDRSpark Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    I hated Albert Camus' work when I was made to study it in high school years ago...now as an adult, I can actually appreciate this.

    I don't share his views on love and relationships though...at least not as they're presented here. Or at least, I wouldn't take it that far.
     
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  17. Au Naturel

    Au Naturel Au Naturel

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    Nobody is perfect!
     
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