Why Men Are Walking Away From Dating

[thejuice]

I think there's bots on dating apps that try to lure you in initially and also try to get you back when you quit. 'Such and such likes you', sends a message and then ghosts. Then they sell you these overpriced super likes that don't appear to cut through the noise. I expect there are gullible, compulsive 'whales' that make the companies the majority of their ill-gotten loot. It has a similar predatory micro transactional model that Free to play computer games do, combined with the subscriptional model.
It also has a feeling of a one armed bandit machine, perhaps I'll win the 1 in a 1000 jackpot this time.. *Crank*.. It's a very mean, bait and switch business model.
Or perhaps the lack of success was down to my incel bad attitude ! (Probably a terrorist)
I'm hearing these apps are having to downsize their operations, because people are getting wise. Good.

 

[vergil96]

XX

Why are you referring to chromosomes all the time? It's like calling women "females" and men "males". Referring to someone's vagina or a penis in a casual conversation also isn't going to be received well. We're not cows or frogs and most people didn't have their chromosomes tested. It's more polite to refer to people as "men" and "women". Let's just stick to that.

 

[maleonolo]

Why are you referring to chromosomes all the time? It's like calling women "females" and men "males". Referring to someone's vagina or a penis in a casual conversation also isn't going to be received well. We're not cows or frogs and most people didn't have their chromosomes tested. It's more polite to refer to people as "men" and "women". Let's just stick to that.

I admit my eyes glazed over reading all the XYXXYXYXXs xD

 

[Hypnalis]

Why are you referring to chromosomes all the time? It's like calling women "females" and men "males". Referring to someone's vagina or a penis in a casual conversation also isn't going to be received well. We're not cows or frogs and most people didn't have their chromosomes tested. It's more polite to refer to people as "men" and "women". Let's just stick to that.

When the meanings of male/female, men/women, sex/gender etc stabilize again I'll switch back.

In the meantime I use the most convenient short form that conveys what I mean with restricting others from using the still-variable terms.

It's more polite to refer to people as "men" and "women". Let's just stick to that.

We went for years with a large-scale and very aggressive campaign to change those meanings.
Back then, suggesting that it would be polite to continue using the original meanings of such words incurred sanctions which are still being applied to this day.

So in principle I agree, and I'll switch in the interests of politeness when the moment comes, but it's not here yet.

 

[vergil96]

When the meanings of male/female, men/women, sex/gender etc stabilize again I'll switch back.

In the meantime I use the most convenient short form that conveys what I mean with restricting others from using the still-variable terms.


We went for years with a large-scale and very aggressive campaign to change those meanings.
Back then, suggesting that it would be polite to continue using the original meanings of such words incurred sanctions which are still being applied to this day.

So in principle I agree, and I'll switch in the interests of politeness when the moment comes, but it's not here yet.

So you're a transphobe?

Your aim is to make a point of excluding trangender people from the conversation?

 

[Hypnalis]

So you're a transphobe?

Your aim is to make a point of excluding trangender people from the conversation?

Saving this for posterity.

 

[vergil96]

Saving this for posterity.

Your point according to what you have explained is that XX men and XY women aren't real men or women or that you somehow disregard these people, think their gender identity is nonsense. Their "real gender" is in the chromosomes. That is transphobia. But maybe it's not worth explaining, because all you're interested in is expressing your ignorant views and getting them to others as important information.

 

[maleonolo]

One thing I'm fairly confident of is that "dating" is broken for a large part of the "Western world", and that while ASD's will never get any sympathy points, we'll (**) be among those who are most negatively affected.

Anyone here knows what dating's like in Europe? Since most of the time the 'Western World' refers only to the English-speaking Commonwealth and the USA

 

[thejuice]

Can we get back on topic please

 

[Kayla55]

hoe_math

I looked at issue of this thread, found this guy who tries to help women understand. So maybe I should do similar guidance but vica-versa.

On initial proposal for marriage I attempt to clarify that cavewoman need to survive 21st Century
Well off countries, low unemployment offer free schooling, so not sure which questions to ask prospect couple before (decide to have kids = get married) as many prefer to free date before, so for sake interest of future children a country should assess affordability of how many kids (who decides this, husband or wife?)

Let's assume man's needs
Cleaning service
Incubator
Child care
Financial contributor
Unconditional love
No slander
Therapeutical services when feeling down
Other

Let's assume woman's needs
Medical aid
Incubator care
Financial contributor
Lives in cave
Eats cavemans food

Is it countries responsibility to look at man's wealth and overuse marriage contract if he's well off. I'm not saying prenup doesn't protect, but if she has his child then he can't keep his money and give her none, as fresh air isn't free when you don't have anywhere to stay. Consideration is only for homemakers and given woman doesn't have clean service and qualifies as dedicated mother showing extra murals and work she put in. It's tricky some men don't eat a lot so in divorce amount of maintenance he can pay may not cover the cost of children.

This is one way for country to deal with unempliyment, is limiting children born as it contributes to societal disrepair and is bad for dignity of children, parents and everyone involved.

 

[Kayla55]

Women who don't understand ho-calculations or way men's minds work should steer clear of the below predicament, because never mind disrespect from men but legally you're not protected.

couples living together without being legally married, also known as cohabitation, don't automatically have the same legal rights as married couples. This means they don't have the same automatic protections regarding property division, financial responsibilities, or inheritance. However, cohabiting couples can establish legal rights and responsibilities through a cohabitation agreement.

Key differences between cohabitation and marriage in South Africa:

• Automatic Legal Protections:
  Married couples have automatic rights and responsibilities under the law (e.g., Matrimonial Property Act, Divorce Act). Cohabiting couples do not automatically gain these rights.
  
  
• Property Division:
  If a married couple separates, their assets may be divided according to the law (e.g., in community of property, out of community of property). For cohabiting couples, property division is typically based on ownership or agreements (e.g., cohabitation agreement).
  
  
• Inheritance:
  Married couples have automatic inheritance rights. Cohabiting couples do not, unless there is a will specifying the inheritance.
  
  
• Maintenance:
  Married couples can seek spousal maintenance in divorce. Cohabiting couples generally do not have automatic rights to spousal maintenance.

 

[Jonn]

And this forced me onto dating apps. Of course, you can just search for friends on those apps, and that’s what I was doing. I wasn’t interested in finding another relationship - I just wanted some people in my life to hang around with.

We need time to heal, yes.

I could add a lot more info here, but in some ways that would be TMI and lore-dumping, so I won’t do it here. But the thing is - it is oh so much easier to find anyone when you are a woman. At least if you look like one.

This is my firm belief.
However, it isn't universal.

There is a spectrum/bell-curve as with most things.
Some people have a problem with the concept of relative bell-curves.

Life is overwhelmingly not binary...
It is overwhelmingly not Black & White...

Long story short - I found there some people I eventually had to cut out of my life (specifically men who became very creepy with time),

Testosterone in males is a problem, unfortunately.
I am assuming that is what you are referring to.
Correct me if I am wrong.

but I also found two friends. One of them became my best friend, and after knowing each other for half a year, we both accepted that we started having feelings for one another and became a couple. It was a natural process, and we weren’t looking for a partner, but we felt so safe and accepted with each other - and very attracted too - so it moved into love.
Another friend fell for me as well, but we talked it out and stayed as just friends in the end.

I have always advanced the idea of:
Friendship first...
Serious relationship development possibility later.
But not as an endgame strategy...
Not as a means to an end...

Maybe this info will mean something to someone. I wasn’t searching for a boyfriend, but I found him on a dating app. He is also autistic, by the way - and no, he didn’t know he was autistic.

Are you going to introduce him to this website?

 

[Jonn]

And IMO that's something that could be generalized. Though not as a predicter for XX behavior, but as evidence that XX's have no idea whatsoever what "dating" is like for non-top-tier XY's these days.

I have no experience with app/online dating, but I suspect you are right.

Men should not speak for women...
Women should not speak for men...

 

[Jonn]

couples living together without being legally married, also known as cohabitation, don't automatically have the same legal rights as married couples. This means they don't have the same automatic protections regarding property division, financial responsibilities, or inheritance. However, cohabiting couples can establish legal rights and responsibilities through a cohabitation agreement.

I haven't researched this in depth, but I believe in Australia, if cohabitation for a period of 2 years or over can be verified, a woman in a de facto relationship has the same financial rights as if she were in a marriage.

Migrating to Australia is my suggestion.

 

[Jonn]

I think there's bots on dating apps that try to lure you in initially and also try to get you back when you quit. 'Such and such likes you', sends a message and then ghosts. Then they sell you these overpriced super likes that don't appear to cut through the noise. I expect there are gullible, compulsive 'whales' that make the companies the majority of their ill-gotten loot.

No doubt.

I did an IQ test last week.
At the end of the tedious questions/puzzles, they wanted money before they gave the results.
I declined.

I then received an email informing me how interesting my results were.
I deleted it.

The next day, I received an email indicating that my results were very special.
Deleted the email again.

The next day, another email that I didn't even read.
I expect another one tomorrow.
It will be "interesting" to see how long this will go on for. lol

I am too psychologically cluey to fall for such an obvious attempt at manipulation.
Any result from an organisation like this would have no credibility after observing how they behaved, anyway.
Go to hell, I say, you wannabe money-grabbing grifters.

 

[Outdated]

Anyone here knows what dating's like in Europe? Since most of the time the 'Western World' refers only to the English-speaking Commonwealth and the USA

I've never stepped foot outside of Australia but I've gone out with a couple of European women, one Suisse, one French.

I have no idea what dating is like in Europe. I also have no idea what dating is like in Australia because I have never in my life been on a date. I've seen it on TV shows and it seems like some parody of a matchmaking game show, everything so fake and shallow.

I meet a woman by accident, we start talking, if we decide we like each other and would like to know each other better she'll follow me home. If we both enjoyed it and had fun we'll start doing that more often. If it looks like it might turn in to a long term relationship then perhaps we'll start going out places together to see a movie or get a nice meal, but not before.

 

[Tired]

We need time to heal, yes.

Therapist said that "the matters of heart" take around half an hour to heal (if of course there was no death connected to it), and it took me around that time, actually. Guess I am indeed very neurotypical

Testosterone in males is a problem, unfortunately.
I am assuming that is what you are referring to.
Correct me if I am wrong.

Not sure what you mean. The men I met for friendships, even when they on their accounts had the same tag, after just a few meetings irl started telling me how they love me or tried to tell me that I would be a great mother for their kids. That is creepy. And no, they were not giving me red flags in the chat, that's why I did agree to meet them irl.

I have always advanced the idea of:
Friendship first...
Serious relationship development possibility later.
But not as an endgame strategy...
Not as a means to an end...

I live by this as well. Me and him still call one another "bro" and "bestie" sometimes, just because we got used to it. I can not imagine dating a man without firstly knowing him as a good friend.

Are you going to introduce him to this website?

I did. He made an account here, asked like one question and was done with it. If he has any autistic questions he is coming to me for some reason, guess because I learned a lot here. And he is also shy. And he hates that website is pitch bright white, it hurts his eyes.

 

[Jonn]

Therapist said that "the matters of heart" take around half an hour to heal (if of course there was no death connected to it), and it took me around that time, actually. Guess I am indeed very neurotypical

Holey moley!
Perhaps we live in alternate dimensions.

My very first breakup almost killed me.
The second serious relationship took over a year to fully recover, and it was "only" a platonic one.
It took 3 months to recover from my last breakup.
At this rate, I will be 280 before it only takes 30 minutes to recover.

Tell me your secret.

Not sure what you mean. The men I met for friendships, even when they on their accounts had the same tag, after just a few meetings irl started telling me how they love me or tried to tell me that I would be a great mother for their kids. That is creepy. And no, they were not giving me red flags in the chat, that's why I did agree to meet them irl.

That is rather odd, assuming they were serious.

I regularly ask my companion when we are getting married.
It is a running joke of mine.
I suspect she knows I am joking.

I live by this as well. Me and him still call one another "bro" and "bestie" sometimes, just because we got used to it. I can not imagine dating a man without firstly knowing him as a good friend.

I have a bestie too, but I call her "beastie".

I did. He made an account here, asked like one question and was done with it. If he has any autistic questions he is coming to me for some reason, guess because I learned a lot here. And he is also shy. And he hates that website is pitch bright white, it hurts his eyes.

That's a shame.

BTW, you can change the background colour of your browser page.
Mine is light grey.
I use Firefox.

 

[Tired]

Holey moley!
Perhaps we live in alternate dimensions.

My apologies, it was supposed to be "half a year"

BTW, you can change the background colour of your browser page.
Mine is light grey.
I use Firefox.

He knows about those addons but says it goes against his privacy and stuff.

That is rather odd, assuming they were serious.

Some people are desperate, or have some mental problems. I wouldn't know.

I have a bestie too, but I call her "beastie".

Haha aww i'm stealing this

 

[Jonn]

My apologies, it was supposed to be "half a year"

Now, that makes a lot more sense to me.

Haha aww i'm stealing this

Damn!
I need to copyright it quick smart!!!