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Why do NTs have such a hard time listening?

Discussion in 'General Autism Discussion' started by HDLSeanWiley, Feb 4, 2015.

  1. HDLSeanWiley

    HDLSeanWiley Follow Uncle Gadget, Brain!

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    When I try to tell them how Autism $peaks is bad, most of the time they don't get me at all
     
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  2. Licorice

    Licorice Twisted

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    Sometimes I think I just have a much bigger memory for things I hear than other people. I had to contact a substitute instructor from last semester today, and had no problem remembering what certifications she was studying for and which ones she currently has based on what she said and what I read. I was asking about them, by the way.

    I know a lot of people who struggle to remember things we said to each other a few weeks ago, like what days something was occurring, etc. Maybe they just don't notice the negatives.
     
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  3. King_Oni

    King_Oni Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    I guess the question here is, do they listen to you when you tell them other things? Or do they just ignore your claim about Autism speaks? If it's the latter they're a bit thickheaded I guess... if they don't listen to you at all, I guess there's a totally other issue at hand where they discredit you, perhaps because of your ASD.
     
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  4. Jennifer T

    Jennifer T Member

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    Not listening...too busy trying to figure out what they are going to say next. Why do you think negatively about Autism Speaks? Not defending them...just curious because I'm new to the ASD diagnosis.
     
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  5. Tia Maria

    Tia Maria "Be the change you wish to see in the world"

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    I am a New Member here & just yesterday had that same question as Jennifer T. I am a NT adult, the Aunt of an Autistic teenager, & personally never found what I was looking for on the Autism Speaks & Cure Autism Now websites. But I did not have any kind of real "opinion" about them. I did assume they must be doing some good & helping some people.

    Well, here is the link to a must read post. An excellent summary of why many Autistic people are not fans of either of these organizations. It was posted awhile back by another member, & remains very relevant. I hope you'll check it out.

    - https://www.aspiescentral.com/threads/why-autism-speaks-doesnt-speak-for-us.8352/
     
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  6. Tia Maria

    Tia Maria "Be the change you wish to see in the world"

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    "... Not listening...too busy trying to figure out what they are going to say next. ..."

    Funny! But true! :)
     
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  7. dudeman

    dudeman Well-Known Member

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  8. Tia Maria

    Tia Maria "Be the change you wish to see in the world"

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    A question, who are you trying to tell?

    Maybe you could show them some of the articles on-line which very cogently summarize the deficiencies with Autism Speaks. There are two links included in the replies within this thread. Also, when I Googled "Why Autism Speaks Doesn't Speak for Me" a trove of articles & information popped up.

    Most NT people, knowing little to nothing first hand about Autism, just assume that such a large, well funded & publicized organization must kind be the 'end all be all' and go-to resource. In such instances, it takes hard core facts as evidence to change someone's opinion, or at least give them something to think about.
     
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  9. Ylva

    Ylva Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    They are too busy staring at eyes to pay attention to their hearing, is my theory. You have to sneak it into their brains by using "clever" rhetoric, such as pointing out that other hate groups use the same kind of propaganda. Maybe comparing A$ to the Nazi party is too blatant, but then again, maybe not; you'll just have to gauge the intelligence of the person you're talking to.

    Also: "You know what other group thinks it's okay to murder children? Yeah, me neither."
     
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  10. Jennifer T

    Jennifer T Member

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    Now I see the light...lol! Although it would be nice to be able to "turn off" the negative traits of Autism...I would never want to cure the world of the wonderful benefits of the positive traits. If the world only had NT's in it...we still wouldn't have a wheel! I'm a spiritual person and realize why God sprinkles the world with all types of gifts.
    Also, they seriously need to get some people with ASD involved with leadership.
     
  11. Greg

    Greg Well-Known Member

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    I looked at it one time but it seemed like it was geared toward adolescents and not adults.
     
  12. HDLSeanWiley

    HDLSeanWiley Follow Uncle Gadget, Brain!

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    even if they are, they still have their "cure" theory and awful awful spending habits
     
  13. Aspieistj

    Aspieistj Well-Known Member

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    I think it is because our Aspie behavior is often very annoying to them. Somehow, they have to be made aware that we can't just stop being Aspies. I am glad children who get early intervention may come to understand THEY have to change so they don't appear to be deliberately odd. For me, as someone in my 60s making the necessary changes are almost impossible but I have seen documentaries in which Aspie children are malleable enough to learn to babble the NT correct answers and curb their desire to enlighten the world about all the things we Aspies fine amazing.
     
  14. Tia Maria

    Tia Maria "Be the change you wish to see in the world"

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  15. Jennifer T

    Jennifer T Member

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    So funny! When I was a kid, I learned to maintain eye contact with my teacher at all times so she would leave me alone!!! It worked:) She sounded like Charlie Brown's teacher though.
     
  16. zurb

    zurb Eschewer of Obfuscation

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    I'd love to know how much aspie kids actually can move to being NT, and how much they just learn to wear an NT mask which will crumble in their forties. I think the brain is amazingly adaptive, but I still suspect early intervention is still just masking. Guess I'll never know.
     
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  17. Grumpy Cat

    Grumpy Cat Well-Known Member

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    Why I have a hard time listening...Honestly, it's usually because my mind is on something important that is going on in my life that I need to take care of - school, family, work. If I'm stressed, then I "forget" the stuff that isn't as important to me at that point in time. If you're needing to tell me something important, then I need to be told the information is important and that I need to remember it.
    Reminds me of what Chef Ramsey said about why he yells at the contestants in Hells Kitchen - so they will get startled and remember that moment of what they did wrong and then they won't do it again.
     
  18. Aspieistj

    Aspieistj Well-Known Member

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    I don't believe early intervention lessens an Aspie's internal thinking. However, it does let the child know WHY they are being told they are wrong all the time. I have learned to touch people when I don't really want to and to babble trite, but "correct" responses when told an NT has experienced trouble. This much, alone, can let the young Aspie choose to adopt certain behaviors that can prevent automatic criticism. They also need to learn that they aren't bad but that their differences, if expressed, usually result in an NT being annoyed. I don't think this type of intervention is especially helpful to the Aspie except to help them adapt to the majority and, if they choose to do so, avoid the all too frequent judgmental reaction of the NT. It is easy for an NT to realize a blind person has a problem and choose to be helpful, but Aspieness isn't that easily comprehended. We need a huge public awareness movement to intervene for us.
     
  19. Ylva

    Ylva Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    I never got an intervention, yet I learned all these things.