First, if you live in LA, it's about 5 woman to every one guy, meaning woman outnumber men there.
I never lived in LA. Here is where I lived:
I was in Moscow, Russia, from my birth (december 1979) till 1994
I was in Berkeley, California from 1994 till 2001
I was in Minneapolis Minnesota, from 2001 to 2004
I was in Ann Arbor, Michigan from 2004 to 2009
I was in Bangalore, India from 2009 to 2011
I was in Chennai, India from 2011 to 2012
I was in Chandigarh, India from 2012 to 2014
I was in Oxford, Mississippi from 2014 to 2016
I was in Albuquerque, New Mexico from 2016 to 2022
And I am again in Berkeley, California now
I have been wondering about the places as well. I noticed that in Berkeley I was accepted the best, while in the last two places (Mississippi and New Mexico) the worst. I DID wonder how much location played the role, although I also was thinking of other factors too. In particular, what I was thikning of was:
1) When I am in Berkeley I live with my mom so she doesn't let me out of the house until I tuck in the shirt neatly and stuff like that. When I am anywhere else where my mom is not around, I am typically very messy
2) I am getting older so "dirty old man" stereotype gets more and more applicable
3) By contrast, in the past, as I looked younger, people gave me more leeway. Particularly since I used to look much younger than my age, so at 21 they thought I was still a teenager and nobody is going to be too judgemental with a teenager
4) I first left Berkeley at the exact time 911 happened, so maybe after 911 people got more cautious and less accepting
5) Since Berkeley is all about "accepting differences", they want to accept my differences as well. Now, I don't want to lump together my differences with LGBT since Bible speaks against LGBT but it doesn't speak against Asperger. But maybe other people lump those things together and thats why the people that are the most accepting of my differences are the exact people whose politics I disagree with
6) In Albuquerque in particular there are a lot of drug addicts and homeless, so people are weary around those. Now, the counter-argument to this is that, in the southern part of Berkeley there are a lot of addicts and homeless too. I guess in Berkeley it is just the southern part of town while in Albuquerque it is the whole town. But still: I have to assume that the concentration of crime in south Berkeley is the same as in Albuquerque in order to say that Berkeley has less crime thanks to its northern part. But since I can't actually compare south Berkeley to Albuquerque, I can't compare Berkeely as a whole to Albuquerque either.
7) As mentioned earlier, I dress sloppily. In Berkeley, there are a lot of hippies, so people can assume I am sloppy because I am a hippie. In Albuquerque, they probably don't have as many hippies, but they have just as many drug addicts, if not more. So in Albuquerque when they see my sloppy dress they assume I am a drug addict. Hence the reaction is different.
8) Maybe due to feminism in Berkeley, the rape rate is much lower, and thats why women are not as scared as elsewhere.
9) I remember a counselor in Mississippi told me that women won't make first move because of patriarchy, and then he said that if I want women to make first move I would be better off going to either California or New York, where people don't stick to gender roles as much. Now, none of the women in Berkeley made the first move (if they did, I wouldn't be complaining about being single). What I am taking about is basic hello, which women in Berkeley can say while elsewhere wouldn't. But maybe those two things are related in the following way. In a culture where a woman can't make a first move, she would instead make a "hint" in a form of "friendliness". The side-effect of this is that any kind of friendliness would end up being interpretted as a "hint". So what would a woman do who doesn't want to date the guy? She would avoid giving a hint by avoidnig being friendly. Hence, women are forced to be avoidant. But then take Berkeley. In Berkeley, there is no such thing as "giving a hint" because a woman who is interested is free to be blunt about it. This being the case, a woman can go ahead and be friendly without worrying about unintentional "hint". Hence, the women in Berkeley are more friendly. No, the counselor didn't tell me all that: he only talked about dating.
But that was my own theorizing that I made building up from it.
10) Maybe it depends on the reputation I make for myself at various places. As in, if I am "seen around" a lot in a certain way, people assume stuff about me even when they haven't personally interacted with me. Now, since all those places are huge, one would assume its impossible for all the people in town to all know me. But could it be that somehow it does happen? Because it certainly feels that way.
11) I got that idea that "I have to get a girlfriend" in 2001, after moving from Berkeley to Minnesota. Back when I was in Berkeley before that, I wasn't that desperate. So people can sense desperation and it pushes them away.
Now, if I go with 3 and 4, then I would predict that returning to Berkeley won't help me. If I go with some other explanations, then it would.
What actually happened is that, no, women in Berkeley weren't trying to start conversation with me. BUT
they weren't crossing the street to avoid me either (and in Albuquerque they often did). Case in point. I was sitting on a bench at the university checking my email. As it happened, there was a list of professors on the wall above me. A certain girl wanted to look up at what room a certain professor is, apparently. So she stood right in front of me to look it up. No, I didn't like it,
but thats not the point. The point is: how come she wasn't scared
to stand right in front of me where I am basically facing at her pants unless I am careful? Now, contrast it with Albuquerque:
over there, they wouldn't even want to be on the same side of the road as me!!! They wouldn't want to be in the elevator with me in Albuqueque, either.
Now, if I wanted to rationalize why the women in Albuquerque cross the street when I walk and don't get into the elevator with me, I could speculate that it is because I probably give them the angry look (as I am trying to ask myself "is she going to cross the street yet again"). In fact I remember some of the times when women crossed the street or didn't get into the elevator "in response" to my look. But here is the thing. Look at how many looks I was giving to that girl in Berkeley as she was looking at that list of professors? Yet, the girl in Berkeley wouldn't move away no matter how many looks I gave her, while the girls in Albuquerque were pushed away with a mere glance.