Join 20,000+ people who understand exactly how your day went. Whether you're newly diagnosed, self-identified, or supporting someone you love – this is a space where you don't have to explain yourself.
This...confuses me...I am not sure if I (mis/)understand? I think probably I did not explain myself very well.
Because you say "Exactly" ... indicating "same as tortoise"?
But then you say not the same as me experience things....Sorry, I think it is because my words did not say clearly what I meant...
I don't only know spatial layout or how many things -- I have a photo-realistic detailed image in my mind....
I meant I have a crystal clear snapshot image in my head of every single item exactly where I put it, also exactly what it is, as long as I paid any attention at all when packing / placing / visiting (as applies to bag or luggage/ fridge or cupboard / entire house, respectively ...sometimes even if I didn't really pay attention but my brain was background recording...
like when I hyperfocus on something in my head for a long time and do not register any sound I hear or anything I see until my hyperfocused state is over, and I replay the sensory recordings that my brain absorbed in the background...it doesn't always happen [never in sensory overload] but often enough it is a not-usual but normal thing for me
) as long as I am able to take things in and not very badly overloaded, not heavily distracted by stuff I see with my actual eyes nor having to attend to other sensory channels simultaneously when there is an insane amount of sensory input.
My issues is not visual memory at all (visual memory is my strongest memory) it is all sensory channels when it comes to working memory, sequencing, and holding attention.
My issues are 100% developmental EF and processing speed that does not match/keep up with the speed of others or the world around me-- and is not improveable (spent a lifetime trying, optimally medicated, this is at plateau).
@the_tortoise... my friend, you're at it again... overanalyzing. It's OK, no worries.
Perhaps, I should have been more accurate with my wording. Instead of "exactly", I should have said something, like, "Agree" or "Sounds familiar".
When you explained further... I would still say that my experience is quite similar... but perhaps, not "exactly", because, of course, you are a different person.
I CANNOT PARSE YOUR WORDS, I DO NOT UNDERSTAND, I AM NORMAL-AMOUNT THINKING/TRYING TO COMPREHEND AND CANNOT EVEN GET TO "OVER-ANALYZING" WHATEVER THAT EVEN MEANS! I CANNOT FILL IN CONFUSING BLANKS AND MAKE SENSE OF/GUESS MEANINGS IN CONTRADICTORY-TO-SINGLE-FAMILIAR-USE-CATEGORY PATTERNS IN WORD USE USING VAGUE NON-THING WORDS THAT NEITHER CLEARLY STATE NOR REFER TO ANYTHING SUCH AS YOUR USE OF "EXACTLY".
AND THE ENTIRETY OF YOUR RESPONSE SHOWS ME NOTHING BUT THAT I DID UNDERSTAND "EXACTLY" CORRECTLY AND OTHERWISE THE ORIGINAL BAFFLING CONTRADICTION REMAINS UNALTERED.
I am still deeply confused, because everything you describe immediately (AS THE ONLY TRANSLATION INTO ANY MEANING AT ALL -- I HAVE ONE SINGLE MEANING, ONE OPTION) strikes me as close to THE EXACT OPPOSITE of what I am trying to describe.
Please stop assuming you understand why I am confused, because your assumptions add MORE confusion and MORE things that don't make sense and because your wrong presumptions about me make communication harder and are invalidating of my actual self and reality and therefore alienating.
REALITY: WHAT YOU DESCRIBE, UNLESS THERE IS AN IMMENSE AMOUNT OF INFERENCE REQUIRED TO SOMEHOW REVERSE EVERYTHING YOU SAY, OR REQUIRED TO PRESUME A 100% UNSTATED MECHANISM THAT CREATES TO CLOSER TO "OPPOSITE" THAN "SAME" OUTCOMES -- INFERENCE I AM UNABLE 100% UNABLE TO
DO, THEN WHAT YOU SAY IS YOUR EXPERIENCE IS THE EXACT OPPOSITE OF MY EXPERIENCE
I DO NOT APPRECIATE OTHER PEOPLE OVERWRITING MY OWN SELF DECLARATIONS!! SO RUDE,
FRIENDS DO NOT CONDESCENDINGLY PRESUME THE OTHER PERSON's MEANING IN A WAY THAT SUGGESTS OTHER PERSON LACKS SELF AWARENESS AND IS TO BLAME FOR THEIR LACK OF UNDERSTANDING. That is not cool; So on my side: worries.
I am trying really hard to be nice here. You're having a moment. I'm going to let this go. You're making something out of something that really isn't there. You're misinterpreting and grossly mischaracterizing my intent. My brain cannot deal with this level of "sensitivity"... it's so far beyond my comprehension. Again... I am going to let this go and we can have a civil conversation another day.
Keep in mind... this is a forum for autistics... you're not alone... we all have difficulties with expressing things with words. Words have such low bandwidth... I've complained about this many times. The reason why we find the need to create these long, descriptive posts is the fact that we do have difficulties with words... and specifics are important to us for understanding. However, to hang onto how words are used... given that you are interacting with other autistics... and then get upset and frustrated with "meaning"... this is not realistic. We are having similar difficulties as you.
It's one thing to have these difficulties with day-to-day life, dealing with people in your life, professionally, etc... and having people judge you wrongly. I think is a common phenomenon within the autistic community. People don't like us, we have labels wrongly put upon us, etc. It sucks. Words vs. meaning vs. intent. Now, this phenomenon is amplified with autistic-to-autistic communication. We all need to give each other some "grace" on here.
@Neonatal RRT, I’ve already spoken about this topic in another thread, in relation to the deaths of my parents (they weren’t there then … they weren’t there.) For me this is also combined with executive function deficits (also previously mentioned.) However, I am prone to rumination (and RSD) and during bouts may suddenly think, “I wonder how so-and-so is?” And then I’ll contact them (or try to.) Sometimes I wonder what some of my friends must think when, out of the blue, I’ll get in touch, perhaps after months or even years of no contact. And then disappear again.
@the_tortoise... my friend, you're at it again... overanalyzing. It's OK, no worries.
