When it all gets very big, I go nonverbal.

[Rodafina]

We played video games and soon I was calm, and my daughter and I were laughing. I was able to use very simplistic sentences. And we kept the conversation joyous.

Sounds like you moved through it the best you could. You didn't give up and retreat to solitude. You processed what happened and seem to understand it well. If anything, your daughter probably witnessed that even through difficult times, you will not give up on her and you will be resilient in the face of hardship.

Did you talk to your daughter about your experience and feelings from that evening the next day when you were feeling better? Not trying to pressure you to do that, just curious if you did.

 

[MNAus]

Do you think it's coming from overload? I have something like this where all my CPU cycles seem to be burned up on other stuff like trying to work out what the hell is going on so the executive function only get a reduced allocation. It often happens in situations where I'm worried I've screwed up. It's like the executive function gets this crappy out of office answerphone message. Something like "So, I think erm, um, I erm, I think, umm, umm, I think, ermm". I'll also repeat things.

For me it's a strong indication that I'm under too much stress. I've learned not to get upset about it. IF you go to the gym and do too many bench presses, in the end you are as weak as a kitten. That's nothing to get upset about, it's just overworked muscles. SO you account for this, think "Oh right, that's happening" and take actions to remove the stimuli that are causing it.

I have silent migraines that have similar phenomena (deja-vu, presque-vu, jamais-vu) so I've learned just to huff at the inconvenience.

And it certainly doesn't make you less loveable, please don't think that.