When considering entering to a relationship, just how big of a panel of family and friends is ...

[unperson]

(title should read 'into' rather than 'to')

...just how big of a panel of family and friends is a socially isolated person expected to meet? Cos so far I have had to be approved by 2 kids, one brother, 2 friends, several co-workers, the guys at the pub he talks to about me, I flipped on meeting the sister who is also apparently a semi recluse, so I'm sure she understands, and one very dear old friend of his. I have asked him to meet no-one ( I no longer live in the same state as my siblings) and I have no friends currently (have a pending friendship offer in the queue as well, completely unrelated).

I'm finding all rather arduous. What are other people's experiences in these matters?

 

[Bolletje]

I’ve always been expected to meet the extended family, friends and coworkers. My social anxiety was overruled by social conventions.

 

[Juliettaa]

My only expectation was to meet immediate family - the parents and siblings.

Definitely not co-workers.

Friends ...... maybe if our paths crossed at a social event (which I sometimes avoid).

Extended family - no. Although I did meet my husband's grand parents but there was no pressure to do so.

Why does your partner want you to meet all of these people and in what time frame?

 

[GadAbout]

Your partner is probably proud to "show you off" to his circle. He may also want to help you feel like part of the extended family - welcomed, in other words.

I've dreaded it but somehow gone along.

 

[hatfullofrain]

Yes, I think he's including you in his life rather than presenting you to them for their blessing.

These are the people he likes and spends his life with and he likes you and wants to share his life with you. He wants you to feel a part of his life.

 

[Streetwise]

(title should read 'into' rather than 'to')

...just how big of a panel of family and friends is a socially isolated person expected to meet? Cos so far I have had to be approved by 2 kids, one brother, 2 friends, several co-workers, the guys at the pub he talks to about me, I flipped on meeting the sister who is also apparently a semi recluse, so I'm sure she understands, and one very dear old friend of his. I have asked him to meet no-one ( I no longer live in the same state as my siblings) and I have no friends currently (have a pending friendship offer in the queue as well, completely unrelated).

I'm finding all rather arduous. What are other people's experiences in these matters?

it probably depends on the culture you come from !

 

[Kalinychta]

Your partner is probably proud to "show you off" to his circle. He may also want to help you feel like part of the extended family - welcomed, in other words.

I've dreaded it but somehow gone along.

Isn’t it irritating, though? I hate that feeling of pressure to acquiesce. It’s not acceptable to just say NO. Yet one more example of how we’re supposed to disregard our needs and do what NTs expect. I never even understood why I needed to meet their family and friends anyway. I wish it were okay for us to just decline.

 

[unperson]

ok, interesting, been about 3 months now. thanks team.

 

[Bolletje]

I didn’t have a lot of choice in my current relationship, my boyfriend and his mom were business partners at the time, running a bar together. Where I instantly met most of his friends and employees/coworkers.
Added bonus: meeting the family in law and partners friends is a lot less intimidating when you’re inebriated.