What's your excuse?

[inabox]

Because I prefer the "attacked with a carving knife" hairstyle

Why is my can opener rusty??

 

[Turanga Veela]

Well, I needed just one more small heavy object to displace water in the toilet tank last week. Just until the electric can opener arrived -- then I was able to remove your can opener, a jar of Marmite, and the soup ladle.

Why are there so many packets of liverwurst in the fridge?

 

[Reedstorm17]

Because no one wants to eat it, but someone keeps buying it.

Why is my vacation almost over when it feels like it just started?

 

[tree]

There's lots of time like the present, but
apparently you don't possess the Time Stretch Card.

Why doesn't somebody else catch the bear this time?

 

[Turanga Veela]

They're embarrassed, because, barely dressed, they're all currently too bare to bear anyone seeing them. A few also cite low barometric pressure.

Why are you washing the car with my best skirt?

 

[inabox]

Because it looks good. I wanted the car to be able to appreciate its prettiness Haha ;-P

Why have you allowed it to become so humid today?

 

[Reedstorm17]

Because if I'm not happy today, I don't want anyone else to be.

Why does my cousin keep splashing me?

 

[inabox]

Because I told your cousin to splash you.

Why did you make all the birds fly into my parents' windows?

 

[Turanga Veela]

Because we're on the set of a "The Birds" remake!

Why is there Lego in the Jif?

 

[tree]

For added crunch.

Why did you let me forget
the CD was in the player
for 2 weeks in a row?

 

[inabox]

Because I'm trying to create the illusion of a time-loop which starts and ends with two weeks ago

Why have you made the washing machine cycle soooo long??!!

 

[tree]

Your attempt to make a time-loop has
been more successful than you planned.
It is no mere illusion.

Why won't you disclose your secret ability to
jump up without coming back down?

 

[Reedstorm17]

Because in chorus in 7th grade, we were told to forget everything about Defying Gravity since we were the alto part.

Why does my sister keep adding a bunch of animals with party hats to our birthday invitation?

 

[tree]

The party would be awfully dull without some party animals.

When will you get around to announcing the next race?

 

[Reedstorm17]

What race?

Why is my mom making me read a book about feelings?

 

[inabox]

Because it has a secret ending which she hopes you will find how to access.

Why did you leave the washing out all night?

 

[tree]

There is no harm to it being out all night.
It's not as if it's going to absorb darkness.

What do you think you are going to do with
all those dental x-rays from 1958?

 

[Turanga Veela]

I'm going to fashion them into a kicky superhero outfit. That's how you become an X-Man, right?

Why is there a coupon for canned chili in my underwear drawer?

 

[Reedstorm17]

Your underwear likes eating canned chili.

How come every time I use sarcasm, my mom thinks I'm being rude?

 

[zurb]

Getting back on topic....
You didn't bring me a coffee yesterday! What's your excuse?