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What's your excuse?

Depends on which November you mean.
November Jenkins is 87. November Ann Hoskins is his
great-grandchild and she's nowhere near that old, of
course. And her little cousin twice removed, November
Benchley is only 3 years old. So it just depends on
which November you mean.

Why is your hair all pink on one side today?
 
You've been in the milk again, haven't you?

Why am I so tired so early?
 
Because you've been crossing the International Date Line all day and did a month of Mondays in 12 hours. That would run down anybody.

What do the scrub jays think about the 10 of Spades?
 
The Florida branch has a slightly different view from
the one generally held by the Western type. The individuals
themselves would be best able to convey the exact distinction
regarding the complexity of the matter in question. You
could ask them, several of each type, and compare answers.
The results would make a nice histogram if you can figure
which variable to use. Otherwise, just try a pie chart.


When are you getting over that silly crush you have on Dr. Who?


 
I don't even know who you are referring to. As you said yourself, Dr who?

Why does it seem that someone has come into my house and replaced all my electrical appliances with useless chunks of mixed materials?
 
Because that's exactly what's happened! I took your appliances, sold them to buy myself a kayak and a pretty dress, and replaced them with creations made from marshmallows and sawdust (thank you btw!)

Why am I such a terrible singer?
 
Take the second star to the right
and straight on til morning.

Please explain how you became an authority
on Bifurcated Existential Propositions as
Explicated in season 2 of the Teletubbies.
 
Because I had nothing better to do in the late 1990s.

Why can't I get into the curling rink?
 
Because your fingers are to big and you keep hitting j instead of i.

Whatever happened to the man on the moon?
 
Because my rocking chair ate the gingerbread people.

Why are people always so confusing?
 
Sandwiches with pickles make them so, its a known factoid.

Would a zombie shamble into a bar and order red wine?
 
Shambling is the typical gait for a zombie or even
a headless corpse. A headless corpse would be
unlikely to order red wine, but a zombie, if recently
turned, might retain sufficient brain function to
remember imbibing when living. Unless the shambler
is wearing a cassock or similar garb, it is probably
not intended for sacramental use. The most likely
purpose red wine would serve for a zombie is
recreational. Life satisfaction is at a low when one is
a member of the walking dead. Escapist behavior is
understandable for those in this position.

If you were wondering why red wine and not white,
the short answer would be...red wine goes with meat.
Zombies these days are known to consume human
flesh. 'Night of the Living Red' is a possibility.

As your question was conditional, I can only say
it would depend on the individual zombie.
This brings up the question:
Does an existing, but non-living, being
possess the ability to make existential choices?

Tell me why you think you deserve a medal.
 
Would the ultimate existential being ever consider any sort of award, as they exist only in the moment?

Is the price of anything, the amount of life you exchange for it?
(Henry David Thoreau)
 
Me! My laywer is expecting a call from you.

Why do I need such a bright street light shining directly at my bedroom window?
 
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