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Featured What's the point?

Discussion in 'General Autism Discussion' started by agg1, Jun 25, 2020.

  1. Ylva

    Ylva Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

    Mar 2, 2013
    I use CBT and gestalt therapy.
    • Like Like x 1
  2. Thinx

    Thinx Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

    Mar 4, 2018
    Yes I think that's a good title, really clear. I hear your eagerness to help, but your own experience does bear out the reality that we only take notice of something when we have got to a place of life experiences where we are ready.

    Like the old joke, How many counsellors does it take to change a light bulb? One, but the light bulb has to want to change... On the whole, people search out help and find it when they are ready. They have to want to change, and they have to be at a stage where they have enough tools from their life experiences to enable them to use or comprehend something that's offered.

    And even then, it differs what will work for them. Massively, as research has shown. There's a range of ideas that can be useful to help you think about how helping works, for example research on the stages of change, you might find interesting.

    Another thing research has shown is that people need time to feel understood, to have their distress and complaints and tough experiences heard, before we can start effectively helping. They usually need plenty of that before they can move on, not everyone, but many.

    A lot of helping initially is paving the way by acknowledgement of the person's story. Many will distrust and feel undermined or blamed by immediate suggestions that they do something that worked for you. They will often want to be heard first.
    • Useful Useful x 1
    • Optimistic Optimistic x 1
  3. SimplyWandering

    SimplyWandering Well-Known Member

    Feb 5, 2018
    I always seem to feel similar to those who post these type of threads, however self-deprecation does not help you live the best life you can.

    Try not to think too much about how others view you, but rather how you can help others. It might make your life more meaningful to you.
    • Like Like x 1
    • Optimistic Optimistic x 1
  4. Matthias

    Matthias Well-Known Member

    Apr 30, 2020
    I can relate to what you're saying. After someone advised me that CBT could cure my depression, I got angry and didn't look into it until 6 months later. I felt like no one understood me, thought other people were the problem, the didn't want to be blamed for them making me depressed.

    I'm not trying to pressure anyone. I just want people to know help is available if they want to get better. If not, that's fine. I didn't know self-help books existed until last year. I always thought therapy and drugs were the only option to treat depression and anxiety. Drugs didn't work and I had so many bad experiences with other people that I didn't trust anyone so seeing a therapist wasn't an option so I felt there was nothing I could do. I tried standard CBT using an online program awhile ago and it didn't help. The only reason I got better is I'm very logical and was able to read a bunch of books by experts, put the information together, and adapt it based on my differences that result from being autistic. The posts in my blog at How I overcame problems associated with autism deals with stuff like self-esteem, being yourself, stress, understanding emotions, and how to become less sensitive to criticism. It's all stuff that many non-autistic people deal with but addressing those problems made me less socially awkward and really made it easier to understand other people. I want people to know the problems I mentioned can be overcome if they want to get better. I wish someone told me what I learned a long time ago because I could have avoided a bunch of problems and had a much better life.