What would treatment look like for HFA?

[Luceid]

I recently got out of a complicated relationship with a girl and she recommended I get counseling because she thinks I'm on the Autism/Asperger's spectrum. She has a degree in counseling, which is probably why she was able to recognize symptoms in me. Her description of Asperger's made a lot of sense. I can see myself in many of the symptoms, but I also have some high-functioning traits.

I've worked in various customer service jobs and I've consistently got high praise for being very friendly and helpful to customers. I also have some awkward tendencies when it comes to forming deeper relationships, but it's hard for me to point to anything specific. When I was in the relationship, we had many phone and in-person conversations that easily went on for 1-2+ hours.

I'm willing to go to counseling, although I don't have the money right now. I'm wondering what that counseling would look like. What kind of treatment might the counselor suggest for a borderline, high-functioning case like myself?

Edit: I'm 32

 

[FreeDiver]

Sounds like to me that you're more then likely not on the spectrum. But I'm going by the information that you described in your post. What I would do is do some more research on Autism/Asperger's and see if this really fits you before going and seeing someone and wasting your money on something that might prove false. Once you have done your homework and saved up enough money. Then I would go see a psychiatrist that specializes in Asperger's diagnoses.

 

[the_tortoise]

An autistic person can learn about autism and how it affects them, and get help with any issues/difficulties caused by autism.....that's it.

If you are autistic but not having problems in your life, you don't need treatment. (Problems by your standards -- what your ex thinks you should be like doesn't count; Not unless she's one of a long string of people with the exact same complaint(s) about you and you'd like to be able to prevent similar issues in your future relationships.)

 

[Luceid]

Sounds like to me that you're more then likely not on the spectrum. But I'm going by the information that you described in your post. What I would do is do some more research on Autism/Asperger's and see if this really fits you before going and seeing someone and wasting your money on something that might prove false. Once you have done your homework and saved up enough money. Then I would go see a psychiatrist that specializes in Asperger's diagnoses.

I've found some lists of symptoms online and I can relate to many of them, but I'm not as extreme as some of them sound. I took an online test (www.aspergerstestsite.com) and got a score of 26. It said "The official criteria for Asperger’s Syndrome is an AQ score greater than 32.

According to statistical analysis, 26 – 31 Is a borderline score.

86% of people with a score of 26-31 can be correctly classified as having Asperger’s Syndrome."

So a 26 is barely borderline, but it's still more than 80% likely that I'm on the spectrum.

But my concern is the counseling advice would basically be to keep doing what I'm doing. I certainly made mistakes in the relationship, but she was my first girlfriend. For years I was hoping to meet someone through church or work, but that never worked out, so I tried online dating last year which is how I met her. I think I could have a healthy relationship if I can find someone who's more willing to work through misunderstandings in a healthy way. If the advice is to keep meeting people and I'll get better with practice, I don't want to pay money for that. But if treatments for borderline cases like me have more to them than that, I would be more interested.

 

[Streetwise]

I recently got out of a complicated relationship with a girl and she recommended I get counseling because she thinks I'm on the Autism/Asperger's spectrum. She has a degree in counseling, which is probably why she was able to recognize symptoms in me. Her description of Asperger's made a lot of sense. I can see myself in many of the symptoms, but I also have some high-functioning traits.

I've worked in various customer service jobs and I've consistently got high praise for being very friendly and helpful to customers. I also have some awkward tendencies when it comes to forming deeper relationships, but it's hard for me to point to anything specific. When I was in the relationship, we had many phone and in-person conversations that easily went on for 1-2+ hours.

I'm willing to go to counseling, although I don't have the money right now. I'm wondering what that counseling would look like. What kind of treatment might the counselor suggest for a borderline, high-functioning case like myself?

Edit: I'm 32

if you see a counsellor tell them you think you're autistic !as it will change the way they help you.

 

[55853]

It said "The official criteria for Asperger’s Syndrome is an AQ score greater than 32.

According to statistical analysis, 26 – 31 Is a borderline score.

86% of people with a score of 26-31 can be correctly classified as having Asperger’s Syndrome."

So a 26 is barely borderline, but it's still more than 80% likely that I'm on the spectrum.

Ignoring the complete misuse of stats, if only diagnosis was as simple as doing a 50 question test. Unfortunately the criteria is not a quick test on the internet. It takes someone/some people with the correct qualifications and experience assessing you (currently and in the past). None of the people involved in my diagnosis had anything to do with counselling, so I'd guess a degree in counselling does not make someone qualified, but I don't actually know what counselling is since I've never had it.

 

[Southern Discomfort]

What treatment? Well, it would come down to the individual really. We all have different struggles although many will revolve around communication and socialising. Some may have problems with their emotions and management, others might have sensory issues affecting them the most. It's really specific, I think. But autism isn't something that must be treated, there's a lot of the older generation who have managed just fine by their times.

 

[wight]

My advice... focus less on whether you are on the spectrum and more on what you describe as a complicated relationship? Why was it complicated, what problems were there? You wrote:

I could have a healthy relationship if I can find someone who's more willing to work through misunderstandings in a healthy way

That suggests that at least some of the problems in your relationship were hers, degree in counselling or not.

I think it is normal to look at ourselves at the end of a relationship and focus on "if I did this, if I didn't do that"... but try to take a step back and look at it objectively, how much of the complication and breakup was what you did and how much was what she did.

Lastly, I wouldn't put a lot of credence in an ex-girlfriend saying "you need counseling"... maybe you do, but in my experience, that is a typical statement by a person that really means "you need to change so you meet MY expectations/needs/desires"

Figure out if you need relationship therapy first, if being on the spectrum is part of the problem in how you form/have relationships, then deal with it in that context.

 

[Progster]

It sounds like you have both autistic and NT triats, but the real question is: do you need help, and what with? Perhaps it might be more uselful to focus on individual traits you might need help with in therapy.

 

[WereBear]

What kind of treatment might the counselor suggest for a borderline, high-functioning case like myself?

My advice... focus less on whether you are on the spectrum and more on what you describe as a complicated relationship? Why was it complicated, what problems were there?

Get a good counselor and work on problems. Not possibles

 

[Luceid]

What treatment? Well, it would come down to the individual really. We all have different struggles although many will revolve around communication and socialising. Some may have problems with their emotions and management, others might have sensory issues affecting them the most. It's really specific, I think. But autism isn't something that must be treated, there's a lot of the older generation who have managed just fine by their times.

I don't have any issues with emotional management or sensory issues. It's just communication and socializing. Do you have any idea what treatment for that would be like?

 

[Luceid]

My advice... focus less on whether you are on the spectrum and more on what you describe as a complicated relationship? Why was it complicated, what problems were there? You wrote:

That suggests that at least some of the problems in your relationship were hers, degree in counselling or not.

I think it is normal to look at ourselves at the end of a relationship and focus on "if I did this, if I didn't do that"... but try to take a step back and look at it objectively, how much of the complication and breakup was what you did and how much was what she did.

Lastly, I wouldn't put a lot of credence in an ex-girlfriend saying "you need counseling"... maybe you do, but in my experience, that is a typical statement by a person that really means "you need to change so you meet MY expectations/needs/desires"

Figure out if you need relationship therapy first, if being on the spectrum is part of the problem in how you form/have relationships, then deal with it in that context.

She had plenty of her own complications. She's a single mother of a special needs kid and she was going through a through a tough custody battle with her ex. Her mother also passed away recently, which she didn't have time to properly mourn due to the custody battle. Those issues triggered severe bouts of depression. She said she believes in the advice "Don't let the sun go down on your anger," but she didn't want to deal with conflicts between us when they came up because they stressed her out. She said she didn't go to be angry, but she was still upset days later.

She needs counseling of her own, which she is getting. The first time she mentioned me getting counseling, I thought it was absurd. But then she mentioned Asperger's, which sounds a lot like me, so it made more sense. But I'm still not sure if it's worth the time and money in my case.

 

[Judge]

Self-awareness is what it's all about. There is no "treatment" as such.

It's how you learn to live with your autism that counts. To learn to the best of your abilities to negotiate and interact with a Neurotypical world with the fewest "bruises" incurred. To recognize what traits and behaviors you may have control over and those you don't which may effectively be "hard-wired" neurologically speaking. And the wisdom to accept your own limitations.

Up until I was in my mid-fifties I was completely unaware of being on the spectrum of autism. Constantly going through life where so many social interactions and relationships were a constant struggle, whether they should have been or not.

In my 60s there isn't a lot for me to truly rectify in life, however at least I have the satisfaction of now understanding who and what I am, and why life has been a social struggle most of my life.

 

[WereBear]

For me, finding out meant job adjustments to no longer dealing with the public. Lifestyle adjustments like getting a bigger living space and a better bed. Deciding to ramp up my small business because I don’t know how much longer I can keep going to the office.

But I would still be wondering what bus hit me if I hadn’t figured it out, so it is better to know.

 

[the_tortoise]

For communication and socializing, a counsellor could help you to work out possible alternatives to your own perspective (possibilities for another person's perspective), inform you of social conventions/unwritten rules you may not be aware of, give you advice about how to effectively communicate things verbally or nonverbally to others (phrasing, scripts, body language, actions as gestures/communication, etc.).

Speech and language pathologists can also help with social communication, I think, if you have specific difficulties with pragmatic language.

Maybe also look into Social Communication Disorder in the DSM-5.