What true story about your pet is improved by.....

[Bolletje]

My roommate likes to wake me up by licking my ear and showing me his anus.

 

[Idahocalypse]

My roommate had long, matted hair, used to poop on herself and bite/scratch my mom. Most members of the family couldn't stand her, but I knew she had good qualities, like whenever I'd have a meltdown, she would keep rubbing my legs until I had calmed down.

 

[Streetwise]

What true story about your pet is improved by
referring to your pet as your room mate?

One of my roommates decided they were going to attack the other one because it wanted to sit in a cardboard box, I had to physically stand up and shout so that they would realise that it was ridiculous to fight over a cardboard box.
They never seem to learn that I don't like them to fight if I bring a cardboard box into the house

 

[tree]

Yesterday when I was walking past my roommate he punched me
for no reason that I know of at all. I wasn't doing anything to him.

He was lying on the ironing board on top of several boxes of quilt projects I had put there.
He just hauled off and punched me in the arm so hard you could hear it.

I hadn't woken him up or bumped him or anything.
And then he wanted to grab me and play.

His overtures of friendliness are rather unfathomable at times.

 

[Moomin]

I have four housemates. One housemate likes to climb the windows. Another likes to open food bags, if he can’t find anything and if he can mooch food from others. He likes bacon. The other two are currently playing in my wardrobe. I’m not sure why they think that playing in there is fun but they won’t be moved.

 

[tree]

I brought him his breakfast.
A little later I came back to take the dish back to the kitchen.

If I don't pick up the dish the other guy will eat whatever is left.

The dish had vanished.
My roommate was sleeping.

I thought maybe he'd shoved the dish off the table.
Neither one of them ever bring the dishes back to the kitchen if
they are eating somewhere else.

I even got the flashlight out, to look under the chairs and tables.

Eventually I found the dish.
Under my pal.
He was sleeping on it.

 

[Anarkitty]

My roommate peed on my pillow.

Another roommate squeezes between me and my husband and then tries to push my husband away. This annoys my husband; the roommate is male, so I think the husband may have some jealousy issues even though I've assured him that I am NOT AT ALL attracted to our roommate.

 

[Jojo_LB]

My roommate is finally no longer in heat. I'm relieved, 'cause I was tired of her rubbing up all over me and sticking her bare butt up in the air every few minutes.

 

[JDShredds]

My roommate liked to lay next to me on the couch, lick my arm and then start scratching me and violently shaking her head back and forth. It was her way of being playful.

She also liked to hover behind my head making rumbling noises when I would sit down.

 

[Clueless in Canada]

My roommate follows my husband all over the place and loves to lie on his chest, gazing into his eyes. Sometimes she licks his beard.