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Discussion in 'General Autism Discussion' started by Major Tom, Jul 11, 2020.

  1. Major Tom

    Major Tom Searching for ground control... V.I.P Member

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    All kids do dangerous things because they don't understand danger, but this is the kind of thing I have to watch for 24/7. If that wood pile was not stable it would have certainly seriously injured him or even killed him. He doesn't listen to "NO" he just covers his ears and does whatever he's obsessing over, no matter the danger. Twice in the past 2 weeks he ripped his hand out of mine and ran into the road one time and in a busy parking lot the other. With my knee still recovering, there was no way I could catch him and all I could do was literally pray that he didn't get hit. Raising a child with severe autism is not for the impatient or the faint of heart.

     
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  2. Ezra

    Ezra Relax, it's just chaos.

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    Much respect and sympathy. You have one of the hardest jobs on the planet.
     
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  3. Major Tom

    Major Tom Searching for ground control... V.I.P Member

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    It's a hard job, but I love him and he's definitely one of the purest people I've met in my life.
     
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  4. Ezra

    Ezra Relax, it's just chaos.

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    I have a really great dad, and it always makes me happy when I come across other great dads of kids with significant autism.
     
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  5. Juliettaa

    Juliettaa Black Sheep. Society of One. V.I.P Member

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    What a lovely thing to say :)
     
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  6. Mia

    Mia Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    I worked at a children's camp with some noverbal autistic children. This reminds me of that, where one boy bolted off the path into the woods just before dark. I ran after him for a long time, finally tackling him with an entire group of us completely lost in the woods. We walked all night, but came out safely, at dawn, and returned back to camp to a police search unit, a k9 rescue group and the entire camp awake.

    There is the idea with some autistic children that there's no concept of danger, until it's learned. That particular boy became spooked by something and bolted. As a child I walked underwater on the bottom of a lake, thinking I could breathe and on my way to somewhere. At the time I couldn't swim. If it was not for the close supervision I had growing up, I would likely not be writing this. I'm glad your there for him, I understand some of the difficulties.

    My spouse has no concept of danger either, under certain circumstances. Two days ago he walked in front of a speeding car that slammed on it's breaks so it would not hit him. The front bumper was maybe two feet away when it came to a screeching full stop. I'm not supposed to pull him to the side, he gets angry, but I'm probably the reason he's still alive.
     
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  7. SDRSpark

    SDRSpark Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    I relate to this as someone who often has no situational awareness. I survive by knowing where I don't belong and staying away from those places...before that, I think I survived by pure luck. My guardian angel surely has a drinking problem by now.
     
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  8. Major Tom

    Major Tom Searching for ground control... V.I.P Member

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    Oh, I'm not looking for sympathy either, just trying to document what things are like for us as a family. It's good to do so that others can kind of understand and also to show to his doctor etc the dangerous things he does. Normally when outside, I hold his hand, but my yard is completely fenced. That still doesn't mean I don't have to watch him like a hawk. Haha
     
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  9. Major Tom

    Major Tom Searching for ground control... V.I.P Member

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    That's exactly the sort of thing my son does, and one of the reasons I have not been able to bring him camping. (Which I think he'd love.) I'd get a child leash, but people here would not understand and probably call the police.
     
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  10. Ezra

    Ezra Relax, it's just chaos.

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    When I said I sympathize I mean I know what you have to deal with from the perspective of what my parents had to deal with. They like you always had a positive perspective and attitude regarding it, rather than any kind of a "look what I have to deal with poor me" type thing.
     
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  11. Ezra

    Ezra Relax, it's just chaos.

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    That's exactly what is needed for his safety and that is probably exactly would happen if you used one. Certainly dirty looks at the very least. They compromised with me by holding onto my shirt tail. I causally mentioned that once on a forum back when I was 13 and someone asked, why are they doing that to you?! I said it's so I don't wander out into traffic and get killed.
     
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  12. Major Tom

    Major Tom Searching for ground control... V.I.P Member

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    Yes, you are 100% correct about that. I'm really glad you had good parents. Meeting people like you gives me hope that someday my son will be able to communicate (hopefully at least a little) in the future. Also, that what we are doing is acceptable. We don't sometimes know as he is our first and only child.
     
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  13. Fino

    Fino Alex V.I.P Member

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    Sorry, I'm blind, but what is happening in the video? Is there a wood pile up there?
     
  14. Major Tom

    Major Tom Searching for ground control... V.I.P Member

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    Yes, he threw a stick to the top of a woodpile then climbed up on it to get it down. The pile is about 2 meters high by 2.5 meters deep. If it would have fell, it would have been life threatening.
     
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  15. Fino

    Fino Alex V.I.P Member

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    I don't think I could raise a child like that. I'm too stressed out by nothing to always be stressed out about something. :eek: I'm glad you're his parent. He got lucky in that regard.
     
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  16. Mia

    Mia Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    It's funny that you've mentioned a child harness. Saw an old picture of my Father with one on as a toddler, he used to bolt, so they put him in one of those. He used to practise swearing at the people who went by and mortifying his parents at the same time. Have also seen two of my older siblings in child harnesses when they were toddlers in photographs.
     
    Last edited: Jul 11, 2020
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  17. Ezra

    Ezra Relax, it's just chaos.

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    I am a first and only child too. I hope he will also have a developmental leap like I did. But unfortunately there is no way to know beforehand. Best you can do bottom line is keep him safe happy and loved. Which I get the felling you are quite good at. But even the best mess up once in a while. My parents have as many stories about how they screwed up as they do about the challenges I posed for them.
     
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  18. Major Tom

    Major Tom Searching for ground control... V.I.P Member

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    Even if he doesn't make that leap, I'll always love and be proud of him. I mainly just want him to be happy, but I also want him to hopefully be able to communicate his needs to people who don't know him like we do. We are kind of older parents, and unfortunately we won't be able to be there for him forever. That's probably the hardest part of this whole situation. Knowing he's going to be alone someday and not understanding why.
     
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  19. Ezra

    Ezra Relax, it's just chaos.

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    My dad always treated me like I was the best son he could ask for. Really meant a lot to me and I know he really feels that way. Kids with autism aren't always that lucky.
    Even though I have become fairly functional in some ways I will be moving into a care home and I will be fine there. Looking forward to having my "own place".
     
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  20. Major Tom

    Major Tom Searching for ground control... V.I.P Member

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    I also do this with him any chance I get. If I know what he wants, I'll try and get him to say something simple. He's trying! Trying to teach my son to speak.
     
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