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What is it about the eyes

RemyZee

RemyZee

Well-Known Member
Hello new here! ☺️ I was wondering: have any of the people here had others tell you that you have "weird eyes." That your eyes makes people uncomfortable. I've had that including from an employer. That NY eyes are strange or off putting. I'm like many I'm that while eye contact is tough i kind of make myself do it. It makes me selfish conscious!
 
Yes have had people tell me that since I was a child . I don’t force myself to look someone in the eyes . But it think it is because I lack the proper non verbal facial and eye expressions needed that NTs use for all communication.
 
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I couldn't say, but to tail in on what @330 suggested, most neurotypicals can "read" the eyes, more specifically all the tiny facial micro expressions around the eyes that occur during a typical conversation. Having said that, if you are an autistic that tends to be an "eye averter" then that often signals to them that something is "off", but if you then force yourself to look into a person's eyes (like you're supposed to) it may come off as "strained" and again, they sense something is "off". Sometimes you can't win.

Human communication is highly complex, and if the eyes, the facial micro expressions, the voice, the body language don't all match up, then one is considered "weird" or "strange" or "sketchy". They may not be able to specifically identify why they are sensing something off, but they can be hesitant to bond with you. So, this is the trouble with "masking/camouflaging" behaviors we do. Some people can still see through the acting. This is the "other side of the coin" of why some of us have difficulties making meaningful friendships.
 
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