What impact do you think technology has on dating and friendships today?

[BirdsNest]

I've been musing on the impact technology has on our relationships. Friendships and intimate.

Social media, smartphones and this culture we have where people are expected to be available 24/7. Things like read receipts on platforms such as WhatsAppp.

Specifically;-

"The rise of the non-committal".
Its just too easy to bail or make new plans in this 'highly connected' world.
Its too easy to think there might be better things on the horizon, which creates indecisiveness.
Feeling over-stretched by invitations to events etc. on facebook.

In a world where we are all too connected, is the quality of our interactions diminishing?

How does this affect our expectations of relationships and our ability to trust people?

Just a philosophical musing here. x

 

[Mr Allen]

I've noticed that during Bus and Tram journeys, some of my younger carers don't always chat, except on their phones, they're always twiddling away on their phones texting or whatever.

 

[TempeFan]

On the one hand, there's more than one of us on this forum who found the perfect spouse online. I've had two decades of marital bliss with a real live flesh and blood person and would never have been able to do that without the aid of a computer.

On the other hand, technology downgrades our lives horrendously on a daily basis.

Most people are prevented from having any type of satisfying flesh and blood relationships with actual people due to spending their life online in their dehumanizing virtual realities. Between video games and mind numbing social media misinformation, spam, scams, adware, spyware and other malware, etc. it's hard to find any of the few legitimate worthwhile sites where people can connect and have any meaningful real world conversations or find any truthful relevant information.

I live in a small town that didn't have any cell service until 2015. It used to be a neighborly place where you could walk down the street and smile and wave and say hello to people. Now you are lucky to get a grunt or mumbled "sorry" as someone bumps into you because they were too busy thumbying to watch where they were going. At my friend's 50th birthday party, her teenage daughter and her daughter's friend spent the entire meal tweeting each other. They had no human interaction whatsoever! They never looked up from their phones nor did they speak an entire sentence to anyone - and the whole time the daughter was seated at the table in the restaurant right between her mom and her friend. The worse part of this story is the fact that concentrating primarily, if not solely, on texting is considered proper table and dating and sidewalk and DRIVING ettiquette in this country. Just last week a pedestrian was mowed down in the crosswalk in front of the community center two buildings down from the police station. My husband and I almost died in 2015 when some homicidal maniac sped from behind some trees through the stop sign and rammed us off the road. It used to be reckless drivers were given free passes by the police for speeding and drinking and now texting has been added to the list of excuses accepted by the government for when irresponsible citizens are caught overfilling the morgues and hospitals. Addiction to electronic devices is a national epidemic. People are so attached to their devices that most can't leave home without 'em. Parents can forget and leave their kids and their pets behind at the mall or in the park or to die in the hot car but NEVER those stupid samrtphones.

I could list example after example of all the atrocities that have happened due to the misuses of technology over the last half century. It's too sad for words. I'm glad I was born in the 1900's because it's too scary to think of what it will be like in the 2100s. The movie "Idiocracy" may have started as a comedy but it turned into a documentary.

 

[tducey]

This forum has been quite good for me so that's a good part of technology. I've gotten to meet some good people as well through twitter. Like everything else social media is good but it depends upon how you use it.

 

[tlc]

I started online dating in 1997 when I got my first computer. It was a blessing for me. Never had the courage or skill to meet people otherwise, not to mention fearing the potential physical harm of talking to the wrong person. At least online I know who is on the market to begin with, and a little bit of what to expect. Been in and out of relationships, married and divorced twice, currently alone and plan to stay that way for awhile, I've had enough. Been a long road with a lot of good times and a lot of turmoil, but if it weren't for technology, I'd most likely have had little to none of it. Better to have loved and lost than never loved at all.

 

[paloftoon]

Online dating has personally allowed me experiences where I had a harder time connecting with people in-person. I had a detailed profile and was able to attempt to match with others with details in their profiles. We knew some of the interests and background of each other before meeting, and this made the transition easier on both ends. Forcing myself to initiate even when I did not want to helped too. I knew I had kept myself in a shell for too long, with good reason. I didn't have support and negativity all around me. At some point, when I get fairly independent, I was tired of waiting around, and just "threw" myself into the game for better and for worse.

 

[olshtieg]

What has made things difficult is the amount of messages women get from random guys all day long. I made fake accounts as a women on facebook, twitter, okcupid etc I could get hundreds of messages from a swarm of thirsty NTs. Each message had no content. I used a female account on a chess website with a picture of my attractive friend to get better chess players to give me free lessons. A women get's so much attention that they become desensitized to online communication. They have so many options that they become paralyzed to choose. Your messages are going to buried in a pile of other messages never to be seen.

 

[Jacoby]

^what do you think the psychological effects of being bombarded like that are? For guys in online dating, they're lucky if anybody ever messages them.

I think it's destroying the world to be honest

 

[TempeFan]

Before dating apps went online, they were on paper through snail mail. Men paid thousands of dollars to get 1 introduction every 6 months, while women could join for free and get 5 per day. Not fair and hard to meet the right woman that way but possible. Like on The Big Bang Theory, technology nerds are still disproportionately male, but hey, happily married Sheldon got that one introduction.

Women can only stomach so many dinner and a movie invitations from married men who are just using the internet to cheat on their wives. Make your stand out by offering some more fun activity like camping or chess.