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What do you feel your life has been about?

midlife aspie

midlife aspie

Well-Known Member
I see 'mainstream' people go about their lives and it seems to me that they grapple with the questions 'what' and 'how'.
Such as 'what' do I want to do and 'how' do I do it.
I have to answer those questions too, but with the addition of 'why'.
Also,
'why' am I who I am?
'why' don't people accept me?
'why' do I feel the way I do?
'why' do others do as they do?
'why' do people put so much stock in fleeting things?
My life has been about the pursuit of 'why'.
I don't know if this makes any sense. Just thinking, I guess.
 
midlife aspie said:
I see 'mainstream' people go about their lives and it seems to me that they grapple with the questions 'what' and 'how'.
Such as 'what' do I want to do and 'how' do I do it.
I have to answer those questions too, but with the addition of 'why'.
Also,
'why' am I who I am?
'why' don't people accept me?
'why' do I feel the way I do?
'why' do others do as they do?
'why' do people put so much stock in fleeting things?
My life has been about the pursuit of 'why'.
I don't know if this makes any sense. Just thinking, I guess.
Click to expand...

I used to grapple with these questions but do so no longer because I'm unable to answer them. Attempts to answer these questions have left me deeply depressed, feeling hopeless, and cynical. Instead I look at a goal and take small steps toward achieving that goal. The 'how' in life reveals itself when you take an action.

There are some questions that simply cannot be answered precisely. I fight to accept this and move on. I cannot definitively say why I'm an Aspie - you might chalk it up to genetics but that does not even provide a complete answer. Instead of looking for a meaning about life, I want to create a life for myself where I can be content and productive. I want my life to fit me and to not be compared to someone else's - something uniquely my own.
 
I'd guess there's no real meaning to life it just kind of happens, one second endless void, the next you're alive briefly, the next endless nothingness and oblivion just like before life. As a famous philosopher once said life is being born with no purpose, extending our life out of weakness and dying for no reason. You might think these ideas would make me depressed but on the contrary understanding the unimportance of my life and understanding how short it is gives me freedom to choose my own path (without worrying about my purpose or reason for existence as I believe there isn't any) and forces me to make the most of my life however fleeting and short life may be.
 
Throughout the existence of human beings, the questions have been asked:
Who am I?
What is life about - why am I here, the purpose of my life?
Who is a 'good' person.

These questions have baffled philosophers, psychologists, etc. for centuries and all have attempted to provide some answers. I do not believe for a second that life is meaningless and without purpose, or that we have no identity. That would be like saying everything is a void, chaos, just happening as we go along.

If that illogical conclusion is to be accepted then we may as well state that the human being is something that just 'happened' and is made up of an illogical set of stuff which just happened to be drawn together into a meaningless lump.

Obviously these questions take time to deal with and discuss, but to have a hopeless view of life and just 'live' it from day to day is just like saying life is meaningless, a chasing after the wind which is bound to result in depression.
 
but everything is chaotic and constantly changing, life is just as chaotic and ever-changing as everything else. i think we do have identity and agency in the world but only what we make and create for ourselves rather than handed down to us or being set for us to work out through our lives, there are no concrete answers to these questions.

i wouldn't say its a hopeless view, knowing there isn't much time forces me to make the most of the time i have and not waste it in sadness. believing that there are no concrete or definite answers to many questions means i don't have to worry about them and can instead focus on enjoying my life.
 
Before Jesus, my life was just opportunistic. I still use my opportunistic skills, now, but there is a general sense of being more ordered and directed than before. (And this, primarily, being internal rather than from an external institution.)
 
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"I'm just a simple man, trying to make my way in the universe."
Jango Fett - Attack of the Clones
 
So far IMO the be all and end all of my life is the fact I have a disability, which limits what I can and can't do, for example according to government Doctors, I can't work, despite the fact I've been doing voluntary work since I was 14, nearly 26 years.

I went to "mainstream" school, including one with a special needs (I hate that term, I am NOT "special") Unit during my secondary years, for reasons I find distressing to talk about 24 years after I left, if I hgadn't made this one particular friend there I would've told the Head of the "Unit" to **** off and left after the first day, 5 years of hell.
 
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