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What Causes the Limited Emotional Expressions

N

Niky

New Member
I have a suspect that this is the cause of my lack of expressing my true feelings, asides from being empathetic to others'. I wonder if anyone experienced this when they were little.

I have memories of crying and being made fun of for it or in trouble for it. Showing joy and somewhat made ashamed of it. Expressing excitement just to have that smashed. Expressing other emotions just to have some negative reaction from someone else either putting you down for it or using it to stab you in the back. It's kind of vague, but these are memory feelings that come up. So as an adult I notice that there's a built in automatic subconscious mechanism of controlling or suppressing the full range of what I could feel. So habitual that it cannot easily be undone.

It probably likely begins with the parents, and that kind of injury attracts more people who do the same.
 
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Niky said:
I have memories of crying and being made fun of for it or in trouble for it. Showing joy and somewhat made ashamed of it. Expressing excitement just to have that smashed. Expressing other emotions just to have some negative reaction from someone else either putting you down for it or using it to stab you in the back.
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Yes, yes, yes, and yes.

In consequence, my feelings are none of their business.
 
Niky said:
I have memories of crying and being made fun of for it or in trouble for it. Showing joy and somewhat made ashamed of it. Expressing excitement just to have that smashed. Expressing other emotions just to have some negative reaction from someone else either putting you down for it or using it to stab you in the back.

It probably likely begins with the parents, and that kind of injury attracts more people who do the same.
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You know. I posted a message on this forum called "are you afraid of you emotions", and this is the very reason I feel like I can't express any kind of feelings or emotions. because I've always been ridiculed and hated for it, and I keep them locked-up to protect myself.
 
FreeDiver said:
You know. I posted a message on this forum called "are you afraid of you emotions", and this is the very reason I feel like I can't express any kind of feelings or emotions. because I've always been ridiculed and hated for it, and I keep them locked-up to protect myself.
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yes, I tried to find a related post on this forum but it was hard to find. Maybe because I'm not to experienced with forums.

It is something I would like to work on, it is sort of a prison. A few people around me suspect that I have aspergers for many other reasons. But I think the emotional resistance can be undone, although not easily.
 
Niky said:
yes, I tried to find a related post on this forum but it was hard to find. Maybe because I'm not to experienced with forums.
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Don't feel bad. I too had difficulties figuring out how to put this in the right words.

Niky said:
It is something I would like to work on, it is sort of a prison. A few people around me suspect that I have aspergers for many other reasons. But I think the emotional resistance can be undone, although not easily.
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I too believe it can be undone. But only in the presents of people you can trust and will not take advantage of you. Which in this evil world, are far and few, if any? And of course, having AS screwing up your social interactions only makes things even harder, if not, impossible.
 
I think you're onto something there and it definitely rings true with me. I also used to laugh or smile in inappropriate situations, leading people to believe I was treating them like a joke or not taking very serious matters seriously at all. This even caused me to be put in detention a few times at school. Consequently I developed a 'poker face' for all situations.
 
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