What are your aspie fears and how many of you share my own?

[Azul-Infinito]

And since this thread is about fear, The more i try to do good things for myself,things that are challenging , the better i feel about myself, that makes me ask my inner self "Hmm.. does this fear has more Than a .003% chance of happening? Or am i blowing things up in my head?".(as i personally tend to do!) If the answer is "no" than i can say to hell with my fear. Sorry if thats too cheerful. But we exaggerate things in our minds, and distort our reality. I think it is called cognitive dissonance.


I read a book not long ago called UnWorthy:How to stop hating yourself . By Anneli Rufus.
I don't remember much of it to be honest, but i remember she did an amazing job of explaining how irrational and statistically improbable most of our fears are. It really was paradigm shifting for me.

 

[Hopeless_Aspie_Guy]

-Afraid I will die still living with my parents

Better than dieing alone, unless you meant that you worry you'll die before they do, in which case that's terrible.

Sorry if thats too cheerful. But we exaggerate things in our minds, and distort our reality.

It is, so take a cold depressing sunday evening shower and start being a bit more miserable please as I didn't create this thread for happiness.

 

[Azul-Infinito]

Ha... Okay Hopeless-guy. Im sorry. I know you are kidding, and I know I sound preachy. I was basically agoraphobic for like 5 years because of crippling depression that was compounded by my inability to see things the way they actually are, or to only focus on the bad. I still get very sad, very often, like today a little even.. If i am being honest, during those dark years,I personally used sadness as an excuse to wallow and do nothing but be sad. As hard as depression is, it was actually an easier option than actually doing something about it. That was me, and boy did i lose a lot because of that, including some of the best years of my life. People on the spectrum are predisposed to lower levels of those good feeling neurotransmitters, so a low energy malaise can be our normal state. But i try to think that the odds of a person even getting a ticket to experience this thing called life is literally about 1:infinity. And that gives me some gratitude and perspective of it all.

I will get off my soap box now and stop preaching. Sorry!!! sorry. Have a good day.

OR... have a bad day if you want. Only you can decide what's best for you. Im not telling you "Its so easy and obvious. Just be happy, duh!". It's complicated. But not futile or.... i guess i should say its not Hopeless-

Best-

 

[Hopeless_Aspie_Guy]

This is all well and good, but my response to this is that with all the solar systems in our galaxy, the chance of intelligent life not existing elsewhere or at the very least other earth like plants (some of which have been discovered) suggests life may not be quite as much of a miracle after all (as far as chance goes anyway).

I was basically agoraphobic for like 5 years because of crippling depression that was compounded by my inability to see things the way they actually are, or to only focus on the bad. I still get very sad, very often, like today a little even.. If i am being honest, during those dark years,I personally used sadness as an excuse to wallow and do nothing but be sad. As hard as depression is, it was actually an easier option than actually doing something about it. That was me, and boy did i lose a lot because of that, including some of the best years of my life.

Yes sadly I know this all too well as I've had 6yrs of increasingly intense severe depression, once episodic and now becoming more frequent, more chronic. I understand how it works, just not how to stop it. Only good medication and other things can perjhaps do that.

 

[ladybug]

1) Afraid of the future and the passing of time as it could bring bad things to my life
2) Afraid of losing my parents (as I’d be devastated and struggle to cope without them)
Afraid of depression/anxiety as it can almost mentally incapacitate me for a while and I’m holding back tears
3) Afraid of growing old or seeing those I know or care about grow old.
4) Afraid of rejection/failure as it makes me feel inadequate and hits my self-esteem
5) Afraid of being alone or uncared for (women aren’t supposed to love me and I struggle making new friends)
6) Afraid of obsessive or self-destructive thoughts that cause chaos in my mind
7) Afraid of forgetting things and losing my memory (as I live for the things that were once great in my life)
8) Afraid of attractive women (as I know how my unwanted hypersexual side will perceive them and create problems for me)

hello,
I'm NT and almost all of the things on your list, everyone has throughout their lives to a greater or lesser degree...
I'm afraid of...
not being able to provide for my children (i have three)
them being taken/injured/getting ill
my mum becoming ill (a common one I think, as we all get older)
not being a able to find another job (was made redundant 2 months ago)
losing my home
getting ill
being pushed off a train platform ( i know this sounds irrational, but it freaks me out to stand even looking at the tracks)
depression returning (had it 10 plus yrs ago... but i have anxiety about its return)
my ex having my children
my children forgetting me
and so many others.... that I could easily start weeping...

But I have to keep them in check.... try ti live in the present (i know that sounds crappy-made up-stuff) but it sometimes works... i get outside... get some air... walk... drink lots of water... put on music i love.... dance about where no one can see you.... i hug my dog....

sometimes we are all in the same boat.....

 

[Hopeless_Aspie_Guy]

I'm NT

Eek eek it's one of them nts be gone with you.......be goooonnnnnnnne I say

 

[ladybug]

Eek eek it's one of them nts be gone with you.......be goooonnnnnnnne I say

lol.... an aspie with a sense of humour...??? noooooo....!!! lol

 

[8398]

I am afraid of my grandmother growing old because she's done so much for me and I don't think I've expressed how I appreciate it well enough yet.
Luckily I'm afraid enough of self-destructive thoughts.

Ones not listed that I have:
The fear of my dog getting hurt
The fear of a pet ending up in the washer or dryer. I hate thinking about it every time I put clothes in, I check to see where my pets are too.
Fear of my parents being embarrassing in-front of neighbors.
Fear of my mom drinking alcohol, which she rarely does, for a reason lol.
Aliens
Blenders and the garbage disposal
The thought of being flattened.

Besides that I do have general anxiety, but it's normal to me at this point.

 

[gregmcph]

Wasps and snakes and things... no probs. Apart from the obvious care about injury, they don't stress me. And pain is just a thing that happens. I can deal with it.

True fears.
Screwing up again. Mistakes.
That party I am supposed to go to next week.
Bothering people.
Being responsible for other people.
Being alone.
Generally, how the hell to be around people correctly.

 

[Hopeless_Aspie_Guy]

I am afraid of my grandmother growing old
Aliens

I'm fortunate that although almost 80, my grandma was a fairly young grandma, but the only grandparent I have left.

What, you're afraid of an invasion you mean?

Generally, how the hell to be around people correctly.

Yer I over-think this sometimes too.

 

[Suzanne]

Afraid of my own shadow, which basically covers most things.

Afraid of being a coward, when the opposite needs to be in place.

Afraid of offending people; the times I have, the reaction is so bad, that it makes me never want to see another human being again; but alas, I am one lol

Afraid of forsaking my God; for turning against Him.

Afraid of how I will die; death itself doesn not scare me; but hate the thought of how it will come about, so try to not think about it.

Afraid of getting older and so, will be the best old lady I can be lol

I used to be afraid of what will happen to me if my husband dies. Stuck in a country that is not my own; no money and no transport; I felt truly frightened and then a chance came my way that changed all that and no longer fear it.

 

[Suzanne]

lol.... an aspie with a sense of humour...??? noooooo....!!! lol

You meet one aspie.... you meet one aspie.

 

[Adder1234]

I don't think that this is a good thing but I haven't been afraid of anything in years. I just think; well that would sure inconvenience me. But it wouldn't actually bother me if it did happen. And this goes for anything, from failing a test or having a family member die.

 

[ladybug]

You meet one aspie.... you meet one aspie.

Yeah, and you meet one NT, you've guessed it... you've met one NT....

 

[8398]

Not so much an alien invasion, but the thought of being abducted at night and having an alien just silently looking through my widow or standing in my room. EEKK

 

[Judge]

Not so much an alien invasion, but the thought of being abducted at night and having an alien just silently looking through my widow or standing in my room. EEKK

Yeah. I still think of alleged abduction experiences of people like Whitley Strieber, Travis Walton and Barney & Betty Hill. Seriously creepy.

 

[8398]

Yeah I used to look into that but for the sake of sleep I quit haha

 

[Hopeless_Aspie_Guy]

Yeah. I still think of alleged abduction experiences of people like Whitley Strieber, Travis Walton and Barney & Betty Hill. Seriously creepy.

Yeah I used to look into that but for the sake of sleep I quit haha

To brits and european all americans are aliens and were adbducted to be how they are now (NT and aspie).

 

[Judge]

To brits and european all americans are aliens and were adbducted to be how they are now (NT and aspie).

Actually I've met any number of British and Europeans who aren't bigots.

Ironically you'll be just another "alien" to members of the European Union in the future, once the Brexit is finalized. "What goes around comes around".

 

[Hopeless_Aspie_Guy]

Ironically you'll be just another "alien" to members of the European Union in the future, once the Brexit is finalized.

Perhaps, or we could've started the revolution that breaks it apart as the issue is that the EU fears other countries may try to do the same given that we're the first ever whose gonna hand in our notice. Ironically it'll bring us closer to the/you americans because of where we're looking for new trade deals and the affinity your president has with the UK (on account of his scottish mother ).