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Well, my life journey has landed me here; I feel better already :-)

R

roofletch

Active Member
Marriage is proper on the rocks now after twelve years together. I couldn't get to grips with why she was so needy for attention all the time. She claims to be living in an emotional desert and I didn't get that at all. Then she found an article in a magazine whist on a train and it described me to a "T". The article was about Aspergers in adults and people who display many of the traits of Aspergers. Took the test scored 33; did I win? It explains enough to me though and my upcoming psychiatry sessions will do a full evaluation to confirm or deny my suspicions. Sad to hear that other folk are losing jobs over this, I'm fortunate to be an engineer so the visual thinker in me is in his element. Being in the military seems to allow my uncanny ability to call an asshole and asshole to be forgiven and sometimes applauded!

The traits or full Aspergers I carry is both a superpower and a hindrance. A superpower at work and in my many engineering based hobbies but a massive pain in the rectum when it comes to dealing with those close to me on an emotional level. The strange thing is though, I can break it down logically to get to the root of the problem and understand the issues but my relationship with my wife is (frustratingly) the one thing in this world that I can't apply my brain to, to repair.

She took the test...

...she scored eleven.
 
Hi and welcome to AC :)

You aren't alone with this stuff, and your job is a huge plus point (lots of people here without one)

Hope things take a turn for the better now you've identified this condition - it makes sense once you fit the pieces together :)
 
Hello!

You're not alone here. Forming and maintaining relationships can often be frustrating for us. If you're able, find a couples' counselor who is familiar with ASD---I think that may help.
 
Welcome :)

I agree with Ereth, finding a councillor might help. The worst thing you can do in this situation is to keep those thoughts and feelings bottled up, as it will only cause you both to feel resentful, and that's not any good for anyone. It will require understanding on both sides, as well as compromise, as you would expect in any relationship.

I know a few members on here who are, or were, in a similar situation to you, so posting here might be best, so that they may have to opportunity to share their own experiences:
Love, Relationships and Dating | AspiesCentral.com

I recommend taking a look at our recommended resources section for books that may be helpful:
Resources | AspiesCentral.com

Also, this link may help too. Dr. Tony Atwood has a great reputation for understanding AS:
Understanding my Partner with AS
 
Thanks for the warm welcome everyone. Some good pointers too and paths I will explore.

Interesting to hear about bottling up my feelings; i do that a lot and it's left me on anti-depressants.
 
Welcome to AC
You will find many here to help and offer advice
 
roofletch said:
Thanks for the warm welcome everyone. Some good pointers too and paths I will explore.

Interesting to hear about bottling up my feelings; i do that a lot and it's left me on anti-depressants.
Click to expand...
I used to be guilty of bottling up feelings all the time, but learned how detrimental that was becoming for me. I'm much happier these days. Hopefully opening up on this site, will ease you in to opening up in your daily life too :)
 
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