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Discussion in 'General Autism Discussion' started by elements, Apr 14, 2019.

  1. elements

    elements Active Member

    Dec 24, 2017
    I don't know if I can do this anymore.. I'm so isolated and with this new job where it seems everyone hates me or simply misunderstands me.. That everyday feels like a struggle and I'm so sick of being alone yet when I try I only make a fool out of myself or just be awkward.. I have no one and I don't want to do anything anymore.. I'm so depressed I'm considering giving up and just cutting the cord.. I have no options left and no one cares.
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  2. Fino

    Fino Alex V.I.P Member

    Sep 22, 2018
    Fact: Someone cares. Pain can blind us to that.

    Fact: It always gets better eventually. Cliche but true.

    Fiction: People hate you. Hate is strong and people generally don't even care enough to do that. It takes too much energy.

    Keep coming here!
    • Agree Agree x 5
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  3. Peter Morrison

    Peter Morrison Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

    Jun 18, 2018
    I don't think we are designed to "win friends and influence people", so I hope you don't aspire to that. The quality of your work is more important than your place in the pecking order of the fictitious workplace social scene. Everyone on the spectrum wishes they were more integrated into the NT world, and it takes time and a lot of sad moments to rationalize being an outsider. But, I suspect that you are not as much of an outsider as you might think. Some people are just plain mean, and others are as ill-at-ease as you when it comes to acceptance. This workplace seems like a spot where coworkers form private cliques, similar to what happens in high school. Cliques are formed out of insecurity - safety in numbers and elite by association. If you are being bullied at work, speak up.

    Give yourself time to settle in to the new environment, but keep your eyes open. We are often misunderstood, especially if we are trying to fit in by mimicking the NTs actions and words. You're new, and people need to get to know you before they open up. Having a new job is one of the top reasons for a bout of depression. New job, new surroundings, new people, and new routines cause a lot of anxiety for anyone. It's twice as bad when you are on the spectrum. If you like your job, focus heavily on your work and professionalism. Good workers always get respect. Use your personal time for comfort, just to defray any stress or worry. And, as Fino said, "keep coming here".
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    • Agree Agree x 1