We have body language!

[Ylva]

For some reason this perspective escaped me all this time. Even though it was right there. That's what I get for even listening to veiled propaganda.

Social skills for autonomous people, Stimming is not just a coping mechanism

 

[King_Oni]

Oh, for some reason I always considered stimming to be body language on it's own, even if it's a bit more atypical.

The issue probably lies in the fact that the majority doesn't "stim" as such and therefore it's not as common. Also makes me wonder if stimming is or should be an ASD specific thing.

The fact that we as a society have decided what body language should look like says something about society as a whole I guess.

 

[DogwoodTree]

Oh wow...

In my family, even THIS part would be revolutionary!

• It is wrong to teach children to adopt a flat affect
• Children need to be able to frown
• Children need to be able to indicate through the tone of their voice that something is wrong
• Children need to be able to cry. That’s a way of coping with pain and overload

Great article, thanks for posting!

 

[AsheSkyler]

...I have trouble understanding why these articles even need to exist. Aside from the obvious part that autistic people are better known for certain outward behaviours, it's not that uncommon for people to express themselves physically. Isn't there some statistic somewhere that 90% or so of communication is nonverbal? People often tap their fingers or something when studying and there have been studies shown to prove that "rhythmic learning" or whatever fancy title the slapped on it was vital and healthy for some people. People clap, stomp their feet, tap their foot, through their hands in the air, pace, leap, and do all sorts of physical movements to denote their emotional state quite regularly. Some of the most fidgety people I've known were allistic, and I honestly can't recall any stimming done by the two autistic people I've met. Eh, like most people, I am biased to my own experiences.

 

[Ylva]

Of course. NTs also stim, and script. It just doesn't strike them as weird or freaky because they are used to it. I am reminded of the argument that we should stim in public, to make them used to it. Not sure how it'd pan out in reality.

 

[Spiller]

Isn't there some statistic somewhere that 90% or so of communication is nonverbal?

My understanding is that the amount of verbal vs body language varies depending on the situation; when passing on information, a lecture or list of instructions for example, much will be verbal; in more intimate situations, say small talk, almost 100% will be non-verbal, which explains why many Aspies can't manage this.

NTs also stim, and script

I'm sorry, but what is scripting?

 

[Ylva]

I'll sometimes repeat movie dialogue to myself. An NT I know has a questionaire for her kid when she talks to him on the phone, and she will never stray from it no matter what the kid's answers are. Both are scripting because in both cases the person doing it knows what to say beforehand, and it doesn't change according to circumstances or get improvised.

We might as well have been reading from a manuscript and onto a tape recorder. The purpose is slightly different, I suppose, with mine being "reliving a good moment" or just thinking, and I'm not sure about hers.

 

[tree]

"Stimming is a positive part of autistic experience, not an unfortunate-but-functionally-important thing we have to do."
Social skills for autonomous people, Stimming is not just a coping mechanism

Last time I remember reading such a simple profound idea was
a long time ago-----[Feminine psyche is not determined by the
"lack" of a penis. Rather it is shaped by the presence of a uterus.]

 

[zurb]

Isn't there some statistic somewhere that 90% or so of communication is nonverbal?

It's an often quoted statistic that has become folklaw simply due to its popularity and repetition. Unfortunately, the 'research' was based on only nine words communicating attitudes or feelings in a controlled setup.
So how much is communicated by body language in real life? As someone else has said, more than you think, less than the 'experts' would like you to think.
Most body language is also not universal but culturally acquired. Not only can interpretation vary between cultures, but NT/aspie interpretation can be different.
The biggest problems occur when there is a perceived difference between the words and body language. I suspect in this case, the NT gives too much weight to their interpretation of the body language; the aspie gives too much weight to the actual words. Don't aspies often complain NTs don't say what they mean while NTs complain we take things too literally.

 

[AsheSkyler]

It's an often quoted statistic that has become folklaw simply due to its popularity and repetition. Unfortunately, the 'research' was based on only nine words communicating attitudes or feelings in a controlled setup.
So how much is communicated by body language in real life? As someone else has said, more than you think, less than the 'experts' would like you to think.
Most body language is also not universal but culturally acquired. Not only can interpretation vary between cultures, but NT/aspie interpretation can be different.
The biggest problems occur when there is a perceived difference between the words and body language. I suspect in this case, the NT gives too much weight to their interpretation of the body language; the aspie gives too much weight to the actual words. Don't aspies often complain NTs don't say what they mean while NTs complain we don't notice the nonverbal.

I always wonder about those big statistics.

From the Aspies here I gather most folk don't frankly speak their mind and choose for often confusing metaphors or heehaw around the subject. In my personal experience, most people are complete dunces when it comes to nonverbal body language. Especially when it comes to the recoil. Most people take that as an invitation to come closer and then get upset you when you bluntly spell it out for them.

 

[ancusmitis]

Especially when it comes to the recoil. Most people take that as an invitation to come closer and then get upset you when you bluntly spell it out for them.

I've noticed most people who make you recoil in the first place are the kind of person to approach everyone too closely no matter what. Some of it is cultural; it's normal for them to be less than a millimeter away and they're not used to doing it otherwise.

 

[Häxan]

Oh, for some reason I always considered stimming to be body language on it's own, even if it's a bit more atypical.

The issue probably lies in the fact that the majority doesn't "stim" as such and therefore it's not as common. Also makes me wonder if stimming is or should be an ASD specific thing.

The fact that we as a society have decided what body language should look like says something about society as a whole I guess.

Society wants manufactured robots not people.

 

[DogwoodTree]

Some of it is cultural; it's normal for them to be less than a millimeter away and they're not used to doing it otherwise.

That's certainly true for a particular ethnic group in my area (who are generally decent people). But that doesn't keep my system from going into overdrive when they stand right next to me in a checkout line. They can adjust their cultural training more easily than I can adjust my neural wiring...not that I don't try, and I'm certainly working on it. But I would really appreciate having a polite way to ask someone to give me more personal space that would be respected without offending. Personally, I've never had the courage to try.

 

[AsheSkyler]

I've noticed most people who make you recoil in the first place are the kind of person to approach everyone too closely no matter what. Some of it is cultural; it's normal for them to be less than a millimeter away and they're not used to doing it otherwise.

I usually blame it on extroversion since it's people like cheerleaders and soccer moms.

 

[donn]

"Stimming is a positive part of autistic experience, not an unfortunate-but-functionally-important thing we have to do."
Social skills for autonomous people, Stimming is not just a coping mechanism

Last time I remember reading such a simple profound idea was
a long time ago-----[Feminine psyche is not determined by the
"lack" of a penis. Rather it is shaped by the presence of a uterus.]

I had no idea what a stim was till two days ago, but now that I can identify them, I can also say that I absolutely love mine. Granted, my big ones tend to be somewhat surreptitious (finger-based mostly, plus a very loud tongue click) so I haven't recognized much social judgment stemming from them. Nevertheless, I have always considered them a physical expression of extra energy or intense focus and so, in my mind, my stims are directly linked to some of my very best traits.

I can't imagine those parts of myself without my stims, and would never choose to be without them.