Wanting to be Around People but Not Communicate with Them

[OkRad]

Does anyone else have this? I like to be around people but not communicate with them. THere are a few people who I can talk to and I do not mid if they say Hi.

If I am all alone, in my house, that is different. I am good with that.

But let's say I had a choice of going to a gym where I would be the ONLY PERSON THERE or go to one where people might be around (just a few, not a lot), I would like to be around people.

WHen I am out in public, I don't like to be alone. I like to be alone at home (or with family). Does that make sense??

 

[Questella]

I could do without the people at the gym, they give me anxiety, especially when they are in groups. I just try to block them out.

I like to hang out with people and not want to talk to chit chat. If someone has a funny thought that's okay but when they try to tell me some long story I just can't. I need highlights. And I can't tell a story at all, people just end up looking at me like, "huh?" Tell me I'm weird or something lame. Lol. I absolutely can not stand it when someone just randomly tells me to tell then a story... **run away**

When I get people to hang out with me at home I always break out the board games, that's what friends are for right? I can't understand how some people can hang out for hours and do nothing but talk about nothing. Weirdos.

Yeah being alone out in public is weird, but I kind of like it. I always wear my big dark sunglasses and have headphones. Then the whole world just seems like some kind of music video and hopefully nobody will try to bother you to chit-chat.

 

[Judge]

Fascinating. But no, not at all in my case. If I truly want to be around specific people I'm ready to communicate with them, for better or for worse.

But just nebulously being around people in general? Ummm....no. They're just forms of non-ambient noise to me. I'd much rather hear the drone of a refrigerator than some stranger going on and on in a cellphone conversation.

 

[Vinca]

Some of the moments in which I feel most content and the least lonely, are when I am with a group of family or friends who I know well and am familiar with, and they are talking amongst themselves whilst I am observing rather than engaging. If the location is somwhere familiar with that helps too me feel even morr comfortable and at home.

 

[Full Steam]

Does anyone else have this? I like to be around people but not communicate with them. THere are a few people who I can talk to and I do not mid if they say Hi.

If I am all alone, in my house, that is different. I am good with that.

But let's say I had a choice of going to a gym where I would be the ONLY PERSON THERE or go to one where people might be around (just a few, not a lot), I would like to be around people.

WHen I am out in public, I don't like to be alone. I like to be alone at home (or with family). Does that make sense??

I can relate to a lot of that. In my home is safe and neutral, and I like being alone or with family and friends.

Out in public alone I kind of feel like I'm being watched. Not from a psychological perspective, but the "physical" feeling you get when some one is watching you.

Mostly when people are around I'd feel fine, and I'd seek out people, but I'd avoid crowds like the plague. I'm most comfortable with my wife when out and about.

I'm an extrovert, so I'm also driven to communicate, but that's like another level, with its own benefits and problems, and I know to keep quiet more often than not these days.

I've actually been in a crowd and meditated (I do that internally so you'd never know), and I felt like "there are MY people"

It was just a shopping mall.

I often feel connected to people in general, and often feel iv e met people before, when I haven't.

 

[toothless]

i like to be alone and i dont interact with my peers but i will go to places where there are people like my intellectual disability groups [one for LGBT,one for gateway/social crafty sort of group],apart from the LGBT group-i just do my thing and go into my own world rather than communicate.

in the LGBT group,i will interact with my mates, not necessarily communicate but i will give them bear hugs and sit and have a drink with them in the gay village,in fact a new member to the group who is an established speaker on autism and is autistic and LD [ID] herself said she was going to join here after i recommended it to her.
i chatted a lot to her and her mum about autism,as i have only ever been around profoundly autistic individuals who have no interest whatsoever in the world outside their head [which is cool,i was and still am the same to a point].

other than that,i would rather be everywhere on my own,but if there are people there i just zone out and stay in my head anyway.

 

[Atreyu]

The closest friends I've ever had were the ones who I could just sit in silence with them and feel a mutual understanding and appreciation for. It helps when they have similar interests as myself, too. I can't make small-talk for the life of me. It feels so forced and uncomfortable.

 

[Aspiegirl75]

I know the feeling. When I was younger, much younger, I used to love going out, riding the subway and juSt watch people! I know...WEIRDOOO! But that used to get me out of a lot of feeling down. I sometimes just rode to the end of the line and then back, depending on how bad I felt.
It was also very interesting to observe the NTs in their natural habitat!
Nowadays, it seems I'm always surrounded by people, either at work or at home, so I'm ALWAYS overwhelmed(as a matter of fact I feel another burnout moving in), so I really really want to be left alone. Even people's silent presence just irks me.

 

[jamesaldrin]

I would love to one day have a group of friends that I always hang out with and I can stay completely silent and just watch them speak and they'd be okay with that and they'd joke around with me but I wouldn't feel pressured to start any jokes.

In high school I had a group of 60 kids who shared a lot of classes together and this happened. The Environmental Major. They would joke around with me but not expect me to talk.

Although what I really want is to have a group of friends with whom I'm completely normal and social. This is possible; I just haven't found the right people with whom to open up with

 

[Streetwise]

im the same dream of being invisible i cant stand the im so happy because neurotypicals rule the world everything revolves around us and its hilarious that AUTISM is defined as self alone!! neurotypicals are just domineering and selfish cant cope with anyone who doesnt act the way they do or wont change their beliefs

 

[Aurellia]

I don't like being around people unless I have a reason to interact with them.
Without a reason, I slowly get nervous and the urge to hide away or seclude myself begins to grow. The thought of being around somebody without talking to them unnerves me, and with a larger group of people; makes be feel isolated or alone. It isn't a very good thing to feel when surrounded by people.

As for friends? I don't have enough to contribute to say something about it in this post.

 

[OkRad]

Interesting replies! I am not sure WHY I like to be around people. I think it is because I feel unsafe. I am always on the brink of suicide because my life is not a good one and I think they act as a buffer. I truly used to like people and want to be friends.

I am pathetic, really. I never made a friend in my life but maybe twice.

 

[Questella]

I think nts switch the words friends and aquientences a lot.

 

[ksheehan88]

I don't like having random people around when in public, such as on the train. I much prefer it if I'm alone, else I feel like I'm constantly being stared at.

I'm more than happy to sit and just be quiet with friends, or play a game, or watch tv or something. one friend is also an aspie, and I like that we can do all of the above aswell as converse, but it isn't necessary like with the other friends. Its so great to have someone that understands me, finally.

 

[WildCat]

It's not that I mind being in a crowd, but I've always been more of an observer than a participant. It's better for me that way anyways, lest someone unfamiliar comes along and starts with the probing and superficial touchy-feely crap...too much of that and I just cannot handle it anymore.