At my current job, I don't mesh well with others in the program because of their immaturity and naiveness about independent living. With a number of coworkers outside of my work circle, I don't feel comfortable with one person in particular. I started purposely avoiding him and not saying hi to him as much as possible unless it's specifically work related. I happen to have a job coach I can talk to, so I let him know about the situation. He told me that even though how I was reacting was completely understandable, I should actually be saying hi to the person anyway. Not making a big deal about it, but that I should still say something just to say something because that is actually more professional than saying nothing at all.
It's kind of a fine line because I fear that when I say something, I will feel it could affect my work productivity slightly in that moment that much more. I've been walked all over in the past, so I don't want to continue to be walked all over. So instead of acting like nothing is wrong, I don't hurt anyone physically or do anything mean to them and just say nothing to them until they initiate completely. My door is harder to open, but not closed.
What also hurt was that the coach told me that by me avoiding saying hi to him, I am actually promoting the idea that I'm on the spectrum that much more. While I didn't like that comment, I knew that it was very true. It made me sad that I had to pander slightly to something like this even though I know that I am quite well adjusted to NT society overall.
It's very difficult to be in a situation where I really don't fit in with many aspie circles, aspie parent circles, or NT circlmes. Like I'm right in the middle on top of everything else.
Sometimes I just want the dumb things to stop. Like I get sick of hearing about how I can be doing this or that better, and that I can "be the better person." I don't feel like I'm "being a better person" or "being happier" because I can adjust to pander to others. It feels more like good techniques to survive the workplace much more easily instead.
I figured out a way to "get out of the situation" without seeing too awkward. When this one guy is surrounded by a group of people, I can take this as an opportunity to say "hi" or greet everyone in some way as a group rather than the individual, and then just keep walking on to do my own thing after that.
It's kind of a fine line because I fear that when I say something, I will feel it could affect my work productivity slightly in that moment that much more. I've been walked all over in the past, so I don't want to continue to be walked all over. So instead of acting like nothing is wrong, I don't hurt anyone physically or do anything mean to them and just say nothing to them until they initiate completely. My door is harder to open, but not closed.
What also hurt was that the coach told me that by me avoiding saying hi to him, I am actually promoting the idea that I'm on the spectrum that much more. While I didn't like that comment, I knew that it was very true. It made me sad that I had to pander slightly to something like this even though I know that I am quite well adjusted to NT society overall.
It's very difficult to be in a situation where I really don't fit in with many aspie circles, aspie parent circles, or NT circlmes. Like I'm right in the middle on top of everything else.
Sometimes I just want the dumb things to stop. Like I get sick of hearing about how I can be doing this or that better, and that I can "be the better person." I don't feel like I'm "being a better person" or "being happier" because I can adjust to pander to others. It feels more like good techniques to survive the workplace much more easily instead.
I figured out a way to "get out of the situation" without seeing too awkward. When this one guy is surrounded by a group of people, I can take this as an opportunity to say "hi" or greet everyone in some way as a group rather than the individual, and then just keep walking on to do my own thing after that.
