Unrealistic Expectations Of Friends?

[Gomendosi]

So maybe this is just being ridiculous but, do you place unrealistic expectations on your friendships?

I have this thing where people say that they are my friend and I say no, not really, we, are merely acquaintances!

I simply don?t really like to classify people as friends anymore because they invariably end up doing something that goes against who I am and I then end up wondering why I would even be friends with a person like that in the first place.
For example, I may get to know someone and then I go around saying we are friends and it turns out that they have murdered someone, or cheated on their spouse who they are still with and who they haven?t told but everyone else knows. I use two actual examples there that are extreme but there have been other less shock worthy things too.

I think maybe I am too judgmental or I don?t want to be seen associating with those kind of people just in case I get put in the same box but, at the end of the day am I simply just being spiteful? I mean, just because I try to be a gentleman and have respect for everyone until they prove they don?t deserve it, doesn?t mean I should assume everyone else should be like that and then be disappointed if they aren?t.

Maybe you can help me wade through this dilemma?





:beardM:

 

[Arashi222]

Personally I tend to be the same way. Or at least that is what I have been told. You're examples are perfect. I don't know if its to high a expectations or maybe its just that you have an expectation of the people that you associate with to have some sort of moral value. I don't know...For me I tend to hold people to an unbelievably high standard. If they screw me over I never forgive them. If they hurt me I never let it go, even if I still want to be friends I don't forgive them the transgressions I have perceived. I think there is an expectation of people being genuine with you and its hard when you find out that they aren't being genuine. I think its normal for us to feel that way. I don't think its normal for other people.

I really hope this helps. :cute:

 

[Alpaca]

Being as imperfect, as I am, gives me a pretty thick level of tolerance. My only prerequisite for friendship is that they honestly try to be a good person. My only prerequisites for a Girlfriend are that they honestly try to be a good person and is physically active.

Nothing in this world will make my respect level for somebody plummet faster than observing them being callous with the well-being of others.