so, There's this autistic girl, I'm seeing her tomorrow. We've known eachother for about a year. I always looked at her like a little sister...a couple
Weeks ago we were watching tv and she held my hand...over the next couple days she called me sweet, said I looked nice, and we have so much in common she said we might be soulmates...some days she pulls away from me and others she kisses my hand where I recently got a dog bite, holds my hand, and excitedly shows me her favorite things. I met her through her brother and I've tried to not like her because my friend told me "not my sister". But...we are so happy around eachother...nobody has ever understood me like her. Nobody has ever understood her like me. She sits in her room all day and just plays games and watches shows, mostly ignored by her family and doesn't have much interest in hanging out with friends. Like me, she also thinks most people suck. And I think everyone is surprised at how...social she is being with me. (I was diagnosed with autism as well as a kid and have hid that my entire life, because my mom used it as an excuse for treating me like crap, and my dad said "you don't have that, you're not an $&@% retard" so...I always felt it was wrong to have it....and no one knows I was diagnosed. I still am not sure I accept.)anyway, back to my soulmate that nobody wants me to be with. She's invited me into her bedroom, had me smell her favorite perfume while she was wearing it and made a point of telling me she doesn't have a bf and she's 18...I've been at er house 6 of the past 7 days to hang out with her brother and his boyfriend, but...have spent 80% of that time with her. They don't notice because they are..."busy" or playing video games. But they'd kill me if thy found out. And soon they WILL notice. so I've heard autistic ppl have some issues with social cues, and she's a big fan of anime(like me, in which characters that seems to obviously like someone are just being obliviously over-friendly) so...I finally asked her(somewhat awkwardly) if she liked me. She said "maybe, haven't decided yet" poked me on the nose and turned around with a playful grin....her family is protective of what I think they consider a vulnerable adult. They also know me as very sexually active. Which I'm not after from her AT ALL. It'd be months, years even, possibly after marriage...shes the first person I've ever felt like it's disrespectful to her to even consider that. I also think she is...asexual?(the one where you are not interested in it) from conversations we've had way back about her not feeling normal because everyone wanted sex and she didn't. That was when I considered her as a little sister. And I've decided that being with her is more than worth never having sex with anyone ever again. So...what do I do? I already struggle with relationships. How do I not mess up this chance at this most important one ever? I've always looked at dating as the end goal being marriage and push for that ASAP so I don't waste my time. Never works out. After a string of recent bad relationships, I haven't been dating for awhile, haven't found anyone worth it, and now that I have, I want to take things incredibly slow...and always let her make the first move so I don't pressure her. But...what if she is waiting for me to make the first move, while I'm constantly hesitating because society tells me it's wrong, because it's taking advantage? I've been afraid to move closer, afraid to kiss, afraid to do anything and be hated by her family...I keep thinking I don't want her to get in trouble, and I don't want to not be allowed to the house and never be able to see her again even as just a friend...how do I even have a relationship with her? What is allowed? What isn't? What are her legal rights? (I knew a girl once whose parents had guardianship over her so she wasn't legally an adult until she was 21). I guess she is in a class to "learn how to take care of herself" I'm guessing some kind of life skills or something... Can her parents make her NOT date me in the name of her best interests? If she tells me again how her mom is moving but she wants to stay...is it kidnapping or something? As far as I know she is fully and legally an adult...but how do you ask if she's not? Her brother said he doesn't know why his mom won't collect disability for her, because she could...but when I asked the girl herself why she didn't do that so she could move out without a job, she got super offended that I thought she was disabled...I didn't! I thought disability was just a name of a program you could take advantage of when people ACCUSED you of having a disability... But other people in her life say...Idk...how do I get the truth?
Weeks ago we were watching tv and she held my hand...over the next couple days she called me sweet, said I looked nice, and we have so much in common she said we might be soulmates...some days she pulls away from me and others she kisses my hand where I recently got a dog bite, holds my hand, and excitedly shows me her favorite things. I met her through her brother and I've tried to not like her because my friend told me "not my sister". But...we are so happy around eachother...nobody has ever understood me like her. Nobody has ever understood her like me. She sits in her room all day and just plays games and watches shows, mostly ignored by her family and doesn't have much interest in hanging out with friends. Like me, she also thinks most people suck. And I think everyone is surprised at how...social she is being with me. (I was diagnosed with autism as well as a kid and have hid that my entire life, because my mom used it as an excuse for treating me like crap, and my dad said "you don't have that, you're not an $&@% retard" so...I always felt it was wrong to have it....and no one knows I was diagnosed. I still am not sure I accept.)anyway, back to my soulmate that nobody wants me to be with. She's invited me into her bedroom, had me smell her favorite perfume while she was wearing it and made a point of telling me she doesn't have a bf and she's 18...I've been at er house 6 of the past 7 days to hang out with her brother and his boyfriend, but...have spent 80% of that time with her. They don't notice because they are..."busy" or playing video games. But they'd kill me if thy found out. And soon they WILL notice. so I've heard autistic ppl have some issues with social cues, and she's a big fan of anime(like me, in which characters that seems to obviously like someone are just being obliviously over-friendly) so...I finally asked her(somewhat awkwardly) if she liked me. She said "maybe, haven't decided yet" poked me on the nose and turned around with a playful grin....her family is protective of what I think they consider a vulnerable adult. They also know me as very sexually active. Which I'm not after from her AT ALL. It'd be months, years even, possibly after marriage...shes the first person I've ever felt like it's disrespectful to her to even consider that. I also think she is...asexual?(the one where you are not interested in it) from conversations we've had way back about her not feeling normal because everyone wanted sex and she didn't. That was when I considered her as a little sister. And I've decided that being with her is more than worth never having sex with anyone ever again. So...what do I do? I already struggle with relationships. How do I not mess up this chance at this most important one ever? I've always looked at dating as the end goal being marriage and push for that ASAP so I don't waste my time. Never works out. After a string of recent bad relationships, I haven't been dating for awhile, haven't found anyone worth it, and now that I have, I want to take things incredibly slow...and always let her make the first move so I don't pressure her. But...what if she is waiting for me to make the first move, while I'm constantly hesitating because society tells me it's wrong, because it's taking advantage? I've been afraid to move closer, afraid to kiss, afraid to do anything and be hated by her family...I keep thinking I don't want her to get in trouble, and I don't want to not be allowed to the house and never be able to see her again even as just a friend...how do I even have a relationship with her? What is allowed? What isn't? What are her legal rights? (I knew a girl once whose parents had guardianship over her so she wasn't legally an adult until she was 21). I guess she is in a class to "learn how to take care of herself" I'm guessing some kind of life skills or something... Can her parents make her NOT date me in the name of her best interests? If she tells me again how her mom is moving but she wants to stay...is it kidnapping or something? As far as I know she is fully and legally an adult...but how do you ask if she's not? Her brother said he doesn't know why his mom won't collect disability for her, because she could...but when I asked the girl herself why she didn't do that so she could move out without a job, she got super offended that I thought she was disabled...I didn't! I thought disability was just a name of a program you could take advantage of when people ACCUSED you of having a disability... But other people in her life say...Idk...how do I get the truth?
although earlier that day I had asked her and she said she had food at the house already.../confused)and they told us no, that we really shouldn't and I needed to come inside and talk to them while her bro went with her instead. I argued with them for a good 5-10 minutes saying I was hungry and going to get food, and they were like "NO, you REALLY need to come inside." before I was physically dragged in by one of them(they were laughing the whole time, I thought it was a knowing "that's cute but it needs to stop" laughter) I panicked and thought I would never see her again. I wrote down my number and told her to call me when she got a chance. Turns out they only wanted me in there for a surprise cake for my bday last week. Although the girl who saw us said she didn't want to think
