Try so hard, but never feel like you accomplished anything

[Kaylee]

I saw in a thread the other day about Autistic burnout or regression and it got me thinking, has anyone here ever had those moments when you seem to try so hard to do something but it doesnt ever feel like you actually accomplished anything?

maybe its because i also have depression (which i recently researched in how it works with aspergers and found some very interesting but not surprising information) but it almost seems like it is the background radiation of my life.

i am a firm believer in the idea that there is no one answer or reason to anything but it is a combination of things but i am trying to narrow it down, i grew up in an accepting family but because i was so intelligent i feel like any time i fail that people look down on me as its something i should have been able to do. i havent lived the most comfortable life and for the most part its my fault. even though i have intelligence which is in the top 2% (maybe even 1%) i cant seem to do anything correct. i have never been able to handle school, i have never been able to hold down a job (had one in highschool for a year but that was the longest by a long time) and i cannot pick up on social ques or even keep friends.

i would be open to admit things in highschool were a little bit better, i was able to conduct myself a little better and hold myself together but it was by no strech really that good. but to my earlier point no matter how hard i try to hold down jobs, be social or anything i never feel like i actually accomplish things, things seem to come so easy to others, people can hold down jobs with no issue, school is something that they have no issue with and conversing with people is just natural. yet i sit here feeling like i have to try ten times harder to not even reach a point where things come natural to others.

It just reminds me of a Quote TV show from a father with an aspie son, "I dont want him to feel like everything in life is a war"

 

[Warmheart]

I hear you. Some things that others take for granted are not workable. This makes me feel set apart from others, frustrated. Also, I feel bewildered in not understanding how life works.

Much has to do with executive functioning concerns. Even with aids like making lists, goals fall apart in the execution. This can result in feelings of perennial failure.

Add to this, that a narrow scope of awareness regarding events, responsibilities, and possibilities over time, can make awareness of what to plan be too clouded for us. It's hard to structure an adult life when one cannot see past one's current state very clearly.

1.) Foggy awareness of what's needed for the future, 2.) challenges planning, and 3.) executive function issues, tends to make me feel rather hamstrung as far as some expected achievements for adult advancements.

I set small, attainable goals over time: Make one new recipe per month, plan a garden for the spring, and have a general long-range plan such as begin researching the possibility of auditing college courses in the fall, or start saving for a new piece of furniture.

Mostly, I find doing for others, giving back and contributing in some way through kindness, even on a volunteer, no-pressure basis, means I can feel better about myself. With both executive functioning challenges and poor awareness for planning, our goals tend to disintegrate... so, self-esteem is something one has to really work at. Giving back adds brightness and sunshine to my life, too.

I'm wishing you good things today.

 

[Suzanne]

I tried very hard to do the highway code in French. My husband is very upset with me, because he says that if I know some French, despite never studying it or having done it in school, how much more would I know, if I studied it, but I have a problem. I hate French with a passion, which is a huge issue, since I live in France!

Anyway, I decided that the only way to learn to drive, was to do the highway code in the very country, I would be driving. I went to the school every week and studied it at home, but we were on a timer and had to look at pictures and then choose an answer and I could barely do it. I was getting an average of 23 points and the instructor said that if I could get 30 points, for 2 sessions on the dot, he would take me out in the car. I knew in my heart, I was not going to achieve it and so had to quit and felt sick to the stomach and such a failure!

Living in France just highlights all the negative things about me and so, each day is a struggle!

 

[Stik]

I just read the burnout article too. About a year ago I've come to the conclusion that I just can't accomplish things or get as much done as the average person. I used to feel like I was just being lazy (so did other people), but now I believe it has to do with burnout. Now I set small goals that I can feel good about. Sometimes I just need to look back at my day, week, month, or year and remind myself of the things I have accomplished. I get so caught up on what I haven't done that I forget that I actually have done quite a bit. My mother has to remind me often that it's okay to sit and do nothing or do something relaxing that has nothing to do with goals.