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To mask or to embrace your autism...

Sometimes when l show anxiety, it's a relief because l spent a lifetime wearing the mask of being in control to the point that l totally believe It. So l let little hiccups of anxiety out. Like walk the dog, walk out the anxiety. Hope this didn't come across as offensive in anyway to people who suffer from this and deal with this daily.
 
Yes, I think that NTs do mask, but for them it's intuitive, less of an effort, and they know what to say without having to think about it. Being social is an instinct for most people.

For us, it's a conscious effort, constant monotoring, and can be a soiurce of great anxiety, so the whole thing wears us down.
 
I mask at work, but at home I mask much less. My wife refuses to try to understand, and thinks I am weird. I also find that it is becoming more difficult to mask.
 
I mask at work and some at home too. When I went for my diagnostic assessment in October I was extremely anxious about it but unknown to me I masked it so well that the diagnosing dr had no clue I was scared or anxious at all.
 
I would say both. I mask a lot though. It’s like this pressure I feel and if I’m around ppl or my family I’m scared of what will happen if I take it off, but I get moments where the mask slips off and I say something very me or I act very me and I can tell because it gets quiet. I wish I could embrace more especially because there is nothing to be ashamed of
 
I was thinking about this thread and asking myself if, how and when I mask.

However,the question came to me, what is masking?
Is it masking to pretend to be how you are not? eg in a different mood.
Is it masking to make a particular effort in an area where you know that AS has impacted you?

I think about most people I know and they are not the same in every context in which I meet them; are they masking or are they just showing a different aspect of themselves? I think most people do show different aspects of themselves in different contexts.
 
I mask, its safer. My bosses know and while I can tell some of my coworkers suspect Im autistic, Im still not saying. People often judge what they dont now about, thats their fear. I tried to come out to a few close women friends but got tired of hearing, "You dont look autistic." Ive joined this forum to be more of myself. When you think about it though, the web is a barrier just like my mask. Although it would be nice to be my authentic self thats been dangerous in the past, bullying (even as an adult), snubbing, rejecting, playing practical jokes on me and not even realizing it until years later. Im cautious now and good where I am.
 
It's hard to come out but l notice l jell better with certain people which makes me suspect they are also on the spectrum. I have a co-worker who l am pretty sure she has some tendencies. l just know instinctively who is on my side of the playing field. But l can fool NT into thinking l am NT, masking me into a secret agent in employment. To me it's surival, nothing wrong with surviving, you live the way you have to.
 
I don't really mask or embrace my autism. I can't convincingly mask well enough for NTs to not be able to tell that something's up with me (plus now I'm usually with my service dog who has "Autism Service Dog" printed on his vest for all to see), so I don't bother trying to fully mask, but I do do my best not to draw any more attention to myself than I have to, for example trying to keep stimming quiet and subtle when I'm out in public.
 
Alexej said:
I was thinking about this thread and asking myself if, how and when I mask.

However,the question came to me, what is masking?
Is it masking to pretend to be how you are not? eg in a different mood.
Is it masking to make a particular effort in an area where you know that AS has impacted you?

I think about most people I know and they are not the same in every context in which I meet them; are they masking or are they just showing a different aspect of themselves? I think most people do show different aspects of themselves in different contexts.
Click to expand...
if you’re autistic and English it’s second nature
 
Alexej said:
Maybe I am slow tis evening but I don't get your answer.
Are you saying that folk in the UK culture mask as a matter of course? because its what the culture does?
Click to expand...
English people are known as being introverted the running joke is because we are descended from the puritans and the UK has a high percentage of autistic people I think that’s where the idea that English people are eccentric comes from
 
Aspychata said:
It's hard to come out but l notice l jell better with certain people which makes me suspect they are also on the spectrum. I have a co-worker who l am pretty sure she has some tendencies. l just know instinctively who is on my side of the playing field. But l can fool NT into thinking l am NT, masking me into a secret agent in employment. To me it's surival, nothing wrong with surviving, you live the way you have to.
Click to expand...
you said, "l notice l jell better with certain people which makes me suspect they are on the spectrum." People who like my company seem to be on the spectrum, although that is not what they would say. I get on with engineers and analytical people, they seem to enjoy the time well enough but I feel a void...Im unfulfilled by these people. For a minute I thought that meant I must not be Aspie, but in retrospect this is a wrong conclusion about myself. I keep comparing and finding reasons Im not aspie...I think questioning has slowed and in time will stop. I love these conversations but they are exhausting. I made apple-carrot fritters tonight andthe house smells like sugar and butter, Im in the mood to make cookies! Im exhausted from the week, too many people in my personal life...this weekend Im on my own :)

I love your name, it sounds like a combination of autism and India! How did you come about your pen name?
 
Streetwise said:
English people are known as being introverted the running joke is because we are descended from the puritans and the UK has a high percentage of autistic people I think that’s where the idea that English people are eccentric comes from
Click to expand...
I was called eccentric by a man from Sussex. He reassured me that this assessment is a compliment as the English love their eccentrics. :-)
 
Streetwise said:
English people are known as being introverted the running joke is because we are descended from the puritans and the UK has a high percentage of autistic people I think that’s where the idea that English people are eccentric comes from
Click to expand...
Yes, teh E
dragonfire42 said:
I don't really mask or embrace my autism. I can't convincingly mask well enough for NTs to not be able to tell that something's up with me (plus now I'm usually with my service dog who has "Autism Service Dog" printed on his vest for all to see), so I don't bother trying to fully mask, but I do do my best not to draw any more attention to myself than I have to, for example trying to keep stimming quiet and subtle when I'm out in public.
Click to expand...

Ah, Im struggling with stimming in public, its so compulsory now....oddly, since my diagnosis, and my bosses acceptance of my autism, Ive taken to stimming more. Im self conscious about it O_o Any advice?
 
Magpie said:
Yes, teh E


Ah, Im struggling with stimming in public, its so compulsory now....oddly, since my diagnosis, and my bosses acceptance of my autism, Ive taken to stimming more. Im self conscious about it o_O Any advice?
Click to expand...

What I do is try to switch to more subtle or socially acceptable stims. For example, if I find myself rocking while I'm sitting at a restaurant, I might try to switch to jiggling my leg under the table instead. It doesn't always work, but sometimes it does.
 
Instagram71.webp


This is an Instagram that I have published over a month ago.

It's always up to you whether if you could embrace or mask your autism.
 
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