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This is so hard

Starflowerpower87

Well-Known Member
My original worker for independent living support is coming back soon. There was just fill ins all summer long. No one told me to take a shower. No one told me to clean. It was great. But my original worker is coming back from her break and she will be cracking the whip. In a way I'm relieved because not much was getting done without her. I was just basically having fun with the other workers. Problem is I have her four days out of the week in the middle of the day for 3 to 4 hours, so it's hard to find time to shower. We used to eat out a lot to fill time which was nice but I can't do that any more because I'm having trouble making ends meet. So many bills. Food is expensive. I'm a little nervous having her back since she's been out so long. To be honest I don't know how I did it before because I was with her so much there wasn't much breathing room. I hope everything works out when she come back. Hope she isn't too hard on me. I feel like she over looks the fact I'm very mentally ill and pushes me to do stuff. She doesn't push me to shower just kind of guilt trips me when I haven't done it in a while. Although it's good motivation, I grow weary of it. But who knows maybe I need a kick in the butt. She doesn't push me to clean but just reminds me about it until it gets done. She does push me to go to outings. Not all the time but to certain events. Hate when she does that. I thought about changing workers and almost did it but then started having extreme panic attacks at the thought of going without her. I don't know why.
 
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It's sounds like a true like-hate situation . You know she motivates you, and somehow you get stuff done. Just let her know eating out maybe only once a month?
 
How much choice do you have about who your workers are? It sounds like to some degree you appreciate that she pushes you a little out of your comfort zone. Maybe just be open and let her know when she pushes too hard?
 
I'd let her know how you feel. If you really hate something she does, like pushing you to go on certain outings, just let her know and there's a good chance she'll stop doing it. Changing workers without discussing it with her first isn't fair to her and may get you someone worse.
 

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