*This forum sucks*

[Angular Chap]

Speaking of forums, etc, where are all autistic at? i know this one, and there is not much people in here, and the wrongplanet but never joined, there is some place i don't know about?

Smaller forums come and go all the time. People start out with great intentions and ideas, but forget about upkeep, maintenance, hosting and bandwidth costs, or get disheartened when the community doesn't take off like they had hoped.

People have moved away from forums to social media platforms, which are bigger and have more activity.

But for me, the words "autism" and "social media" in the same sentence? No thanks....

 

[Darkkin]

People and dogs have a lot in common. Most of it stemming from the attitudes of those they encounter. Assume that all dogs want to engage and play, (e.g. the social extrovert stereotype), is hugely problematic because dogs, just like people have individual personalities, skill sets, and abilities. Intelligence, nature, and environment all play a role.

Deciding something sucks because it doesn't offer a consumer specific menu, at the volume and rate the consumer is demanding, is not a reasonable measure of the product, but a reflection of the consumer themselves.

Dogs are amazing, multifaceted companions when time, effort, and care are put into them. They give back as much and more as they receive. Both of mine do. But there is a strong parallel to forums, as well. One gets effort out, only if one puts effort in.

This means engaging in discussions, gardening threads, and interactions. Standing on the sidelines with a sign reading: This sucks...well that illustrates the attitude of the individual, not the active membership.

Others see that attitude. And reasonably speaking, why would people engage with such negativity? Everyone at numerous points in their lives will deal with negativity, both their own and others. Where the catch comes in is the medium of these episodes. For a majority of people, the internet is about distraction and escape. Others use it for venting in a constructive manner and some use it solely to complain about anything, everything because complaining is easier than making an effort or having some accountability.

It comes down to simply reciprocity. Social interactions be it online or IRL are a two way street. The type of energy (attitude) one gives off is often the type one receives in return. Complaining generally begets more complaining. Humour usually fosters more humour, etc...

 

[Misery]

In fact, here for me it is even worse and harder to establish communication than with NTs.

Well, here's a question: What have you tried?

Keep in mind, this forum isnt about any specific interest. This is an autism-focused support forum. Any of us could likely rant about our interests for hours, but it's very rare anyone really does that here. Like, for me gaming is my main interest, but I sure as heck dont come here looking for chatting about that topic. Yet I still have 5 zillion posts under my belt here.

One thing I had to learn the hard way many years ago... and something that you might want to ponder too... is that there's way, way more to interacting, conversing, and connecting with others than merely sharing interests. A forum like this can be very good for learning that very lesson. One might say that's a core focus of the site's design.

One gets effort out, only if one puts effort in.

This means engaging in discussions, gardening threads, and interactions. Standing on the sidelines with a sign reading: This sucks...well that illustrates the attitude of the individual, not the active membership.

Very well said.

But for me, the words "autism" and "social media" in the same sentence? No thanks....

Oh geez, that makes me think of the times I went and tried to look up autism-related things on Reddit. Yes, I know, not the brightest move, but I was bored at the time.

I can tell ya though, once I was done, I felt like I needed like 3 showers and an exorcism.

 

[Storm Hess]

I have to say, with all humility I can muster...this forum has helped me understand myself. I do not agree with everyone, nor do I give a toss what everyone says. If it works for you...great! If not, then so be it, go your own way...live and be well.

 

[Darkkin]

I do a fair bit of writing (hobby) that I post here and elsewhere. I also know that I am accountable for the content of my media. If it is a litany of malcontent and complaining, I can reasonably expect push back for passive-aggressive behaviour and unrealistic expectations.

If on the other hand, I post something in a form of an open discussion (e.g. Imposter Syndrome), it tackles a tough topic a lot of NDers struggle with in a constructive manner. People get a chance to vent or say, 'hey, I feel this way, too...' It isn't a thread of 'Why this sucks, No one likes Interest X...'

It is easy to complain about preceived shortcomings, but when one has the capacity to actively change and interaction in an open forum such behaviours fall short. Literally all one has to do is start a thread and wait. It is easier than fishing, no hooks or guts involved.

For those who take no action complaining about a forum is akin to complaining about getting wet because one doesn't come in out of the rain.

 

[Princess Viola]

Smaller forums come and go all the time. People start out with great intentions and ideas, but forget about upkeep, maintenance, hosting and bandwidth costs, or get disheartened when the community doesn't take off like they had hoped.

People have moved away from forums to social media platforms, which are bigger and have more activity.

But for me, the words "autism" and "social media" in the same sentence? No thanks....

If not social media, then it's Discord servers. Which is even worse than shutting down forums in favor of subreddits or Twitter or whatever imo.

 

[Darkkin]

Forum:

a place, meeting, or medium where ideas and views on a particular issue can be exchanged

The word stems from greek for gathering place. And just like with any interaction it is about expectations influencing actions.

e.g. I love to read, but I don't like reading books other people are discussing because they have such a wide audience draw. I love obscure, often macbre non-fiction topics and the fiction I read is solely for pleasure, not analysis. I have zero interest what the blue curtains signify. I'm not looking to discuss books.

Writing is a different story. I love learning anything and everything I can. It is an active engagement process for me. I will chatter endlessly about it if given the chance.

The same can be said for psychology, as well.

Consider if the interest is a passive enjoyment or an active or interactive process. Are you looking to learn and contribute or just infodump?

 

[NB79]

If not social media, then it's Discord servers. Which is even worse than shutting down forums in favor of subreddits or Twitter or whatever imo.

Why you don't like discord? i mean i tried there in one page, and its just about chatting? and the channels are not varied, also there is no place to discuss certain things, also requires a phone to validate the account.

In reddit the is no subcategories to discuss stuff same as facebook, i don't know why forums are not liked much.

 

[Misery]

Why you don't like discord? i mean i tried there in one page, and its just about chatting? and the channels are not varied, also there is no place to discuss certain things, also requires a phone to validate the account.

In reddit the is no subcategories to discuss stuff same as facebook, i don't know why forums are not liked much.

The problem with Discord is that it very quickly becomes an impossible to follow mess.

Forum posts are static, they stay in one place and can be responded to at any time. Same with Reddit or Facebook, bad though they may be.

Discord though? It's a disjointed, constantly scrolling mess that even many NTs would be hard-pressed to follow. For anyone that already has trouble processing communication, there's no way in heck it's gonna work. Even I dont like it, and I've been using things like chat programs and whatnot since the days of AOL and AIM. And the more popular the topic is, the more people there will be in the server, and the faster and more chaotic the "chatting" will be.

 

[Lemon Zing]

Just be glad the lockdown ended. That was way more miserable than worrying about forums. I thought we were going to remain in peril forever.

 

[Dadamen]

Just be glad the lockdown ended. That was way more miserable than worrying about forums. I thought we were going to remain in peril forever.

Where are you from that you still had a lockdown? In Europe no lockdowns since 2021.

 

[Dadamen]

Case in point: Crime and Punishment was one of the most mind blowing books I've ever read and it's at the top for me.

For me, any book over 100 pages is too long. This one has 700 pages and I had to read it for school. It has caused me real pain. I've had a really strict Croatian teacher that asked for details from the book. In fact, I started hating all those social and humanistic "sciences" in high school. I think I've made a mistake in that I've gone to too demanding a high school that requires knowledge and interest in everything after having straight A-s (or 5-s in my country) through elementary school where it was enough to listen in the lesson and study a bit day before the exam to get an A.
Some other book authors that caused me pain are Miroslav Krleža, August Šenoa and Ranko Marinković if anyone heard of them.

 

[Princess Viola]

Why you don't like discord? i mean i tried there in one page, and its just about chatting? and the channels are not varied, also there is no place to discuss certain things, also requires a phone to validate the account.

In reddit the is no subcategories to discuss stuff same as facebook, i don't know why forums are not liked much.

The reason why I dislike Discord, at least when it comes to people creating Discord servers as a replacement for forums, is because Discord is fundamentally different from a forum.

Discord is a chat software, it's not forum software and even with their attempts to try and make things 'more forum-like' (like the threads feature they added a couple years back) just demonstrates this perfectly with how clunky and not forum-like the features (and Discord as a whole) really are.

Think about it. On a forum, such as this one, every discussion is its own topic and discussions are (generally) more slower paced because we're not chatting in real time. I'm not replying to you expecting me to immediately reply to me like we're chatting one-on-one or whatever. It's a more slow-paced discussion.

Contrast that with Discord. Discord is, as previously said and as we all know, a chat program. It's meant for chatting. Sure, that doesn't mean you can't have serious discussions in Discord or whatever - I do use Discord to chat with my friend group (it's literally just 10 of us basically) and we'll sometimes have serious discussions about stuff. But the key difference is that all the discussions for certain topics will just be mixed together into the relevant room, instead of having each discussion be its own thread. Imagine if this place was shut down and replaced with AutismDiscord and instead of having all these different topics here in Help and Support, it was just a singular Help and Support channel where there might be multiple people asking for help and getting advice at once in the same place.

The fact that Discord is a chat software also demonstrates my next issue with people using it as a replacement for forums: Discord channels are not as readable as forum threads are. Anything that's too old might as well not exist and, in contrast to forums where (admittedly this is depending on the forum, some forums don't like gravedigging and would rather you just create a new thread) there may not be anything wrong with replying to an older thread if you've got something to say about the topic, on Discord, the older a discussion is, the more of a faux pas it would be to try and continue that discussion.

Another issue I have with Discord being used a forums replacement is that Discords are private and you have to join them in order to see what's going on in them. Now sure, I've seen forums do the same thing - all (or some) of the boards are hidden from guests and you need to be logged in to actually view them (hell, this forum does it with the Private Discussions board) but that's only a small number of forums. The vast majority of forums I've seen are public-facing and anyone can visit and browse the forums as a guest and see what the ongoing discussions are, what's the community like, etc. I lurked these forums for a bit before joining to see if I'd actually wanted to join it, for example. If this place was just a Discord server, I wouldn't have even bothered because there's no way to know before joining what it's going to be like.

(And don't even get me started on software replacing their FAQs or whatever with 'a community Discord server for help and support'. At that point, I'm honestly going to just uninstall and stop using your software. I should not have to join a chatroom to get some help with figuring out how to use a piece of software. Terrible.)

 

[Lemon Zing]

Where are you from that you still had a lockdown? In Europe no lockdowns since 2021.

Edinburgh, Scotland.

 

[Darkkin]

So Discord is essentially the chatty extroverted software that terrifies selective, deep introverted forum software...(LOL, that is an awesome explanation.)

 

[Butterfly88]

This forum isn’t what it used to be. That’s the real reason I don’t use it as much anymore.

 

[Jordy]

Some people here are aggressive and antagonistic under the guise of being helpful and empathetic.

 

[tree]

REMINDER

If you come across something you find offensive or believe breaks the rules, report it to a member of staff using the report button. Do not reply to the thread. If you are having a problem with another member of the forums, you may contact a member of staff via Private Message about it.

General Rules & Guidelines

PLEASE READ EACH POST IN THIS THREAD AS WE ADD TO THE RULES! We want everyone's stay at Autism Forums to be a good one. We don't want to have to heavily moderate or censor members but feel it is necessary to have a few ground rules in order to maintain a great community: By using the forums...

www.autismforums.com

 

[mysterionz]

Discord is a chat software, it's not forum software and even with their attempts to try and make things 'more forum-like' (like the threads feature they added a couple years back) just demonstrates this perfectly with how clunky and not forum-like the features (and Discord as a whole) really are.

(brief mention of s-word mention))



I once got told to “commit the s-word” on a South Park discord server once. Never joining back again.

 

[Princess Viola]

(brief mention of s-word mention))



I once got told to “commit the s-word” on a South Park discord server once. Never joining back again.

Yeah, this is exactly why the only Discord server I'm active in is a group chat among friends/acquaintances (and a couple people who are actually in a relationship) that formed from a subcommunity I was part of on another forum.

I know all these people and we've known each other for varying years as well.

But if you go to just some random Discord to try and talk to people? You don't know who these people are, they could be someone who hates you, are rude to you, tell you to commit you-know-what like what happened to you, you just don't know.