therapy = exercise in frustration?

[whale_bone]

Hey guys, so I just had the most frustrating day!

My psychologist (who first suggested AS) referred me to her co-worker who is a disability specialist and today I had my first appointment with her. It was an initial assessment based on what psych # 1 had told her so basically she asked me a lot of questions related to asperger's and inattentive adhd.

What I find so difficult is being able to answer yes/no or scaled questions. For example, I am fairly good at "passing" as NT if I put my mind to it. How do I do this? It comes from 20 years of obsessively studying other peoples' behaviour, imitating this, and forming useful scripts. This is fine for a superficial encounter but if I try to keep this up I will get exhausted and incredibly anxious... and probably end up doing or saying something that isn't NT enough (blowing my cover). It also means I have barely any mental resources left to actually think about stuff. I "half-pass" (haha new word!) with my closer friends and I have one friend I can be totally myself around.

So how do I answer the question, "on a scale of 1 to 5, rate your difficulty in socializing or establishing relationships"???? Show me what 1 feels like compared to 2. arghhjhhhhfhhjfg!!!! I guess I just wish I could explain myself better in these sorts of situations.

Anyone had similar experiences?

 

[142857]

So how do I answer the question, "on a scale of 1 to 5, rate your difficulty in socializing or establishing relationships"???? Show me what 1 feels like compared to 2. arghhjhhhhfhhjfg!!!! I guess I just wish I could explain myself better in these sorts of situations.

Anyone had similar experiences?

No similar experiences. But I also couldn't answer that specific question. I am okay at establishing relationships but I suck at socialising, so how could I give myself a rating based on both?

The way you are supposed to answer a sensible question on a scale of 1 to 5, I think, is related to how difficult you find it. Subjectively, not objectively. For example, if one day I can't complete a simple task due to my mind wandering all over the place, I would say that my difficulty managing my ADD that day is a 5. If I can sit down and work for hours, and only realize that it is time to go home or go to lunch when I see other people wandering out of the office or saying goodbye, then I would say that my difficulty managing my ADD that day is a 1. I have more "5" days than "1" days.

 

[petrossa]

The tests you describe are pretty useless imo. You quite correctly pointed out the flaw.
The tests are based on what is 'normal'. But since you are obviously not doing the test because you are 'normal' it's impossible to take it. The frames of reference are just too different.

What is 'black' on a scale from 1 to 5?

HTF do you answer that? And why 1 to 5, why not 1 to 3 or 1 to 7? I took a barrage of these kinds of 'test' and the more i got the more they pissed me off.

So to me: exercise in futility. There's no known therapy so why bother with it.

 

[katcha]

I have a problem with scaled questions as well. Either something is or it is not.

 

[whale_bone]

Yeah I guess I just wanted someone to talk things through with. I would have thought that a "specialist" would be sensitive to the fact that this is a terrible way to go about doing it though.

Ha- another funny one: "When people talk, is it kind of like listening to a foreign language?" I answered no but now that I think about it, it was an incredibly flawed question. How can I possibly know what she means by the quality of a "foreign" language, if I use the same approach for both? Yes, I learn all language the same way, but obviously my first language is much easier and more familiar because I've been learning it longer! They really should have consulted some aspies when designing those questions..

 

[jaws]

I usually just respond in the middle with a plus or minus depending on my mood. I suspect that a 3 is average. However, I often find that NT's don't think that way...they seem to be more 1 or 5 and never count the mid-range. I often laugh (internally) at pain scale questions at the doctor's office like 1 for irritating and 10 for unbearable. I think to myself if it were truly unbearable I'd be dead or at least unconscious, because my mind/body couldn't bear it.

 

[kneeproblemguy]

I always fail to answer such questions and I am not good at being the target for therapy either.
I maybe have an authority problem. I want to me in control and to be my own Boss or to lead
the other and most Therapist don't want such competition.

And when one do CBT one have "home work" to make lists of what is going on what thoughts and
what activities one do and I always fail to write such down. Maybe one could talk into a telephone
if them rang and asked. But to remember to write down on a paper. Now way. I have no clue what I did.

 

[Geordie]

I think of them as separate things - exercise is voluntary, therapy is a must