The Underemployment and Unemployment Thread

[Geordie]

I make the conscious effort not to involve myself in any long-term romantic relationship - especially marriage. It may sound unrelated to unemployment, but I cannot even take much pressure from work, let alone supporting a lady and eventually, a family?

Although there is considerable pressure for me to settle down in a steady relationship, so long as I do not get an advanced degree and/or an advanced stage in my career, where let us say I am made managing partner of a business, then I will not marry. But this is me. Not so sure for others.

Many of us may be unemployed or maybe underemployed for a long time - it is hard to live alone, but I hope AC gives us all some support.

 

[Peter A.]

Although there is considerable pressure for me to settle down in a steady relationship, so long as I do not get an advanced degree and/or an advanced stage in my career, where let us say I am made managing partner of a business, then I will not marry. But this is me. Not so sure for others.

Although there was never any pressure on me to settle down with someone, I could not imagine having done so, even though I do have a degree. My degree has not been very helpful for me when it came to finding a career, or full-time work of any kind due to this - let's call it 'condition' - so I can't imagine supporting a family or even being in a relationship. Imagine the conversation when I meet someone:

Her: 'So, what do you do for a living?'
Me: 'I'm unemployed'
Her: 'That's no good. Why is that?'
Me: 'I have a condition called Asperger's Syndrome. Have you heard of it?'

At this point the conversation comes to an abrupt end, because she makes up an excuse to be somewhere else.

No, I can only take so much humiliation. This is not for me.

 

[Geordie]

Romantic relationships and unemployment do not go together. With Asperger's, I think it is obvious we have to accept the reality as it is today.

Maybe playing video games will kill my time and whatever pains I go through? But that's about it, that's not a long-term solution. We have to know what skills we can offer to employers, that they want. If it just happens we don't have the skills that even one employer wants, well, that's already my problem!

 

[anne.bc]

It is good that you have recognized that. I have known people who have made the mistake of tying the knot before either of them has any meaningful employment and it usually results in some sort of catastrophe.

I have heard of the "we should have waited, we're barely making it" situation way too many times. Also, there's married couples that aren't even living together yet because of their work situations. My little sister in my fraternity was living 2 hours apart from her husband the first year they were married because she had the credential program to complete while he was working in Modesto. That's heartbreaking. You should be living with your spouse as soon as you are married. That LDR stuff after the wedding just doesn't seem right. Thankfully he's moving to her, which means he had to switch band director jobs. That's hard because you get so attached to your students. Music schools are basically families.

We're going to live together from the get-go. That's the plan. If the job he's getting interviewed for pays him $9 an hour, he can finally live on his own. $8, he cannot. It's LITERALLY a difference of one dollar. I'm praying for him big time! His interview is wednesday.

 

[asnlifecoach]

Every relationship is different. What works for one couple may not work at all for another. Money, distance, employment can vary greatly and as long as it works for the couple, it is normal and good.

 

[Geordie]

I am always ready to say, because I do not have the social skills to be employed (Autism) and I have some work-related issues I still need to work out (NVLD?), I cannot possibly see myself to be employed gainfully. Even as a possible chartered accountant, I foresee myself to be lower than others in the hierarchy despite my motivation and strong passion in making ideas work. C'mon, I can't add up the figures properly Don't even think my employer will write that letter of recommendation to send me to further training, but I try to think positive.

Anyway, I am thinking of solutions to get us out of the rut of unemployment/underemployment. I've got a request from a good friend who says 'invest in a movie that positively portrays people with autism'. I am skeptical of his ideas - my current training thus far brings me to the conclusion: we need more objective data. Marketing surveys, PEST analysis, investment flows... Reason before passion. If I know my expected monetary value of my investment yields a good return, then why not do it?

 

[anne.bc]

So this happened on Friday. I'm hoping I go further than just a job app with this one... I took my LEAP government job exams. All you need to know about LEAP is that it means I have access to like 9 job exams for state government jobs all the time and they last 18 months. Otherwise, it's hit or miss for others. Exams aren't always available, but for me they are, so it helps me a lot. Now onto my story:

I probably had a mini-heart attack finding a letter addressed to me from the California Highway Patrol on Friday. Turns out they noticed I passed my LEAP exams with really high scores and are basically telling me "want to apply to work for us?" instead of a ticket.

*relieved panting*

That salary looks amazing. Better than my fiance's current salary, too.

 

[asnlifecoach]

Good luck!!!

 

[Geordie]

I ask this question to other Aspies I know in my country,

'If it is shown people with autism don't really function in work settings, why is work considered 'dignity' when they are better off doing other things, so long as they feel happy, have healthy hobbies, and are well supported by their societies/families?'

Because of personal beliefs, I eschew alcohol, drugs, gambling and sex. And the most I do is to stare blankly and not doing anything, just staring into empty space. But it has a purpose. If I have a small stipend when I am unemployed for more than 6 months, or when my country becomes bankrupt or totally insolvent, then I think I must have the opportunity to write whatever I like - writing, doing housework, drawing, playing online games of a non-violent nature, etc.

If I give the impression that I am entitled to something, yes, indeed, if I think I deserve a regular fee to be at peace with myself, why not? Society does not owe anyone a living, but if one really cannot work, why force him/her?

If I know I am forever under- or un-employed, I will probably spend all my time writing or vodcasting sports, music, politics and business issues. I may not earn the thousands my friends make, but hopefully the hundreds relatives support to keep me 'on air' or 'in print' keep me happy and fed.

For the unemployed and under-employed, just stay happy and have fun, in whatever you do.

 

[Nega Rark]

Day to day I live with the fear of losing my job or having a total, out-of-control meltdown and walking off. I’ve done that a few times and then later am sick because of my actions and the ramifications of what had happened.

Ended this way at last 3 jobs, 2 full-time and 1 part-time. Pressure and confusion built up too fast. First full time, they "let me go" because I was just misfitting. Second full-time, had mental breakdowns... Was making $1400 a week! Third job was part time, waiting tables, and the social was too much for me.

My fault in the matter though. After college, living alone on my own paycheck, got cocky about the "skills" I was discovering (didn't have any clue I was Asperger's then) and I'd leave work a little early or show up a little late to practice my guitar or go lift weights for hours. Looking back, I think my boss tried to help, but I was beyond human aid at the time.

Will be making unemployment wages until next August, so I can live at my Grandmother's house. If I do get a 3rd chance at a full-time job with my Degree, then I'll seek the counseling and help that might make the difference and help me survive. In the meantime, I'm looking for work... So I try to stay fit, and do self-searching, but without that regular job to "keep active" and circulate energy with the bigger world, I get depressed pretty often.

 

[Geordie]

(Prof.) Temple Grandin is an autistic from the previous generation. Autistics of this generation will have to work much much harder than her to achieve to her level. - from a poster from Disabled People's Association Singapore

This statement may sound true, and I acknowledge it. However, I think this is a defeatist attitude towards success, despite its good intentions.

Perhaps the poster tries to draw out sympathy and/or understanding for our issues. We may be unemployed and underemployed, we may not be really capable in a skill that adds to the core competence of a firm. Yes, we may feel the feeling of helplessness, and we should not judge our own inability to be more like the 'others'.

But we are not the 'others', we are us. We have our own definition of success. We have autism, and we live with its challenges. Most notably, because of autism, even with social skills training etc., without structured support (which is, admittedly, harder to come by), we cannot 'work'.

Even though we are underemployed or unemployed, think about it, even if we don't have disability, welfare or unemployment benefits, we have our stories, we have our lives. We share them with the rest of our community. Either we try harder than others to do any job (which I did), or we seek whatever opportunities we have out there - like perhaps helping to cut the neighbors' grass, cleaning other people's homes, ghostwriting for other people, writing about your experiences watching sport or living with our pain - just anything, so long as you're doing something, and we feel good.

It is hard to live with many tongues saying 'you are not able', but ultimately, we make do with what we best have.

 

[King_Oni]

I think the quote does make some sense, but maybe I'm biased towards equal opportunity for people on the spectrum.

I'm browsing around to see what options I have to start on my own and start up my own company... and like I posted in many other threads; without money that's not going to happen.

Yet, the more I read into it, the more I read about people on the spectrum being denied these things, since they apparently pose a "risk". There's no actual data on the amount of failures and if they were on the spectrum, but having some kind of "disability" apparently is a risk for anything financial. I'm not going to argue, but I don't know if they're a "bigger" risk.

That was different back when both laws were more liberal to get people kickstarted and granted a loan, and most important, this entire autism thing, it wasn't as prevalent as it is now. 20 years ago the social consensus of autism was different. In the past decades we've found out that autism can exist within rather functional people, just not perfectly functional in a fields. And just because there's this notion of "mental disorder" (since that's how it's being perceived) it's deemed a risk.

And in all honesty, I don't think the future will be any better. With cutbacks resources are getting low so there clearly is a more strict assessment. And talking assessments; this incorrect notion that autism is like retardation (at least, that's what some people apparently think it is) still exists. How that's for an interesting perspective to get hired. Also one can wonder; how much of it is my (or our part, as an autism community) to get across that's not the case... especially when social anxiety is a significant part for a fair share on the spectrum.

 

[Starbuster]

I have been turned down multiple times for multiple jobs, I've been interviewed but not hired. I keep trying, but no one is hiring me.

I've been trying to get a job since around February and so I am about ready to give up, I've been trying but with my experience of getting turned down multiple times or not getting hired, I am just fed up and don't want to look for a job anymore because my mind is telling me "Let's just stop trying, if they keep turning you down, then it isn't worth your time when there are other issues to tend to.

I am actually a little afraid of what is going to happen now if I continue, I am determined but most times like I have said I have been turned down, and I am afraid what employers would do when I applied and turned me down because I have High Functioning Autism, would they turn me down just because of that?

I know some won't, and some will. I am just utterly tired of the way things have been going for me in the employment department. I will keep trying, but I am wary because I am turned down or people do not call back.

 

[Arashi222]

I think it is fair to say that I am an overachiever who fails to achieve in the real world. I can excel in most school work (besides math and science) and yet here I am still after having my masters degree in clinical social work, having my LGSW (its a type of license) that I still still work at a grocery store in customer service and struggle with it every day. I struggle more now than I did before, why because while there is acknowledgement for physically noticeable disabilities its the unseen ones that go by unnoticed. I love having a job. I love being able to try my best every day. What I don't like is being unable to get my self into a job where I am good at what i do and love it.

 

[Geordie]

I love having a job. I love being able to try my best every day. What I don't like is being unable to get my self into a job where I am good at what i do and love it.

I hope I can be physically present somewhere, so that I can give the little bit of encouragement to think of ways to go through our challenges together. I really hope we can all affirm our gifts physically, it will be memorable to all of us. We have our passions, we need that somebody to give us the opportunity to pursue it meaningfully.

I think the quote does make some sense, but maybe I'm biased towards equal opportunity for people on the spectrum.

Bingo. I think we all need to have a go to have a shot in what we can possibly do. The Fourteenth Amendment and American Disabilities Act won't cut it, though, we need a supportive society that looks at our ability more than just risks to be managed.

I am afraid what employers would do when I applied and turned me down because I have High Functioning Autism, would they turn me down just because of that?

As long as you convince your employers that you have the initiative to manage your success working in your company, such as involving your local autism and disability rights group (like me), you can get a job. I did it, and I will do better in my next job. I know I am supported - I don't get too many out-audits or telephone calls with clients, for example.

 

[Nega Rark]

I've got an interview as an Automotive Engineer lined up! Perfect coincidence of Autistic Anger and Aspergian Obsession, I just used "listentoyoutube" to download 4-5 hours of review material and job interview tips which I'm going to brainwash myself with while re-painting all the whites around the house. I might not even be the best for the role by but damn I'm going to be the most prepared! IM GETTING THIS JOB!!!!

 

[Paul Antschel]

Good luck! Going for a new job is tough on the psyche, hope you do well...

 

[nonsensical]

Never had a problem finding work, although I was rejected from employment at a taco joint when I was a teenager. During high school I worked at a grocery store where I felt unchallenged & unmotivated considering the minimum wage pay I received. I still remember the store manager lecturing me one day over my lack of initiative and telling me if I wanted to make it there, I'd have to prove my dedication to the company. Well, he was a dick. So much so that I left him a picture of a dick on his car windshield once I quit.

Since the grocery store job, I have worked in automotive retail -most recently, commercial heavy truck parts. It isn't the career path I really wanted to go down, but for now I'm sort of stuck with it considering I don't have a formal college education and DO have a mortgage to pay each month.

 

[Geordie]

My mother always tells this to younger friends:

If you know you can't afford or academically incapable of great college degrees (especially useful engineering and healthcare degrees, she insists I learn 'something useful'), try to find a job in HS, try to accept no matter what your IQ or demeanor is, just work anywhere and somewhere first, even in positions you pay to bag the job. And it's ok to be underemployed, so long you have something to occupy your time. But you can't be unemployed, or else you are just a waste.

Wondering how we can encourage ourselves towards gainful employment?

 

[theduckrabbit]

I kindof agree. I have always had low level jobs but I have learned to find meaning in what I do. Every job is important and I take pride in being financially independent (although that took a long time to get there). A more prestigious and impressive job would probably invilve a lot more ass kissing than I could handle, so I have come to terms with it.


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