Sometimes I fear of letting go of the status quo, but once change has happened I actually fear things returning to the status quo. I tried to Google about the latter but can only find information on the former. But this thread is more about the latter; fearing the status quo.
For example, I remember back when I was about 19 I was lonely, single, living at home and unemployed. I was in a rut and always longed for a change.
Now at 34 I have achieved a lot and I prefer to keep going forward. In the last 10 years my life has changed a lot; I met my husband, got married, moved towns, changed jobs to the one I'm in now, and more. My life is not at all like it was when I was 19 and I wouldn't really want it to be either.
But sometimes I really worry about things changing where I will end up living the same life as I did when I was 19; back living with my parents, single, lonely and unemployed, after achieving so much. Only this time my mother wouldn't be around as she passed away a couple of years ago from cancer. So I'd probably be even more lonely and the fact that my mother is missing from my life would probably hit home more.
But do you see what I mean? People often just shrug and say "well some people have to move back home", but due to my lack of confidence it would probably return to the status quo again. I'd feel like I've gone backwards, like the last 10 years never happened. Also I think I'm more conscientious of time than other people (time as in chapters of my life). There are some times in my life I wouldn't want to relive.
I just worry of what would happen to me if anything happened to my husband (God forbid). I'd have to return home with the heartache and grieving of my husband, and my mother. It would most probably set me back mentally.
I wish I didn't have this overly conscientious mindset that most other people seem to lack, therefore things like this wouldn't faze them. This is probably my main symptom of ASD; focusing on such things (things I don't particularly want to think about).
Please can someone know what I mean.
For example, I remember back when I was about 19 I was lonely, single, living at home and unemployed. I was in a rut and always longed for a change.
Now at 34 I have achieved a lot and I prefer to keep going forward. In the last 10 years my life has changed a lot; I met my husband, got married, moved towns, changed jobs to the one I'm in now, and more. My life is not at all like it was when I was 19 and I wouldn't really want it to be either.
But sometimes I really worry about things changing where I will end up living the same life as I did when I was 19; back living with my parents, single, lonely and unemployed, after achieving so much. Only this time my mother wouldn't be around as she passed away a couple of years ago from cancer. So I'd probably be even more lonely and the fact that my mother is missing from my life would probably hit home more.
But do you see what I mean? People often just shrug and say "well some people have to move back home", but due to my lack of confidence it would probably return to the status quo again. I'd feel like I've gone backwards, like the last 10 years never happened. Also I think I'm more conscientious of time than other people (time as in chapters of my life). There are some times in my life I wouldn't want to relive.
I just worry of what would happen to me if anything happened to my husband (God forbid). I'd have to return home with the heartache and grieving of my husband, and my mother. It would most probably set me back mentally.
I wish I didn't have this overly conscientious mindset that most other people seem to lack, therefore things like this wouldn't faze them. This is probably my main symptom of ASD; focusing on such things (things I don't particularly want to think about).
Please can someone know what I mean.
