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the loneliness code

wadorama said:
anyone cracked it? you need a cave to hide in. you like to play with others, but on your own terms and schedule. you are a proven lousy partner/friend so you don't want to hurt anyone.

seems incongruent and unsolvable. please tell me how you solved it, or how you would.
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Yep. Choose the "others" wisely.

I don't think aspies do balance very well, so I oscillate between isolation and socializing, with a strong bias to isolation. But when playing with others I choose them carefully. I stay well away from the fragile, sensitive types who take offense from people breathing their air, for their own good, like you say, I don't want to hurt anyone. I don't see myself as a lousy partner/friend because whilst I do not offer empty platitudes as so many NTs require, I can offer logic. But not everyone wants to hear it. So I only respond to those who have a thick skin or are logically inclined. That way I can hide when I need to and play without collateral damage. My "others" are few and far between but if you've been alive long enough, you will meet them.
 
Major Tom said:
I pretty honestly, don't get lonely for human contact in real life. I have my job and my family, that's enough for me. That being said, I spend about 75% of my time completely alone and I relish every second of it. I chat a bit on here, and that's enough for me.

Being with people is kind of overwhelming really. Silence is golden. Try to enjoy it I would recommend .
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100% here unless you count the grocery store. there is apparently some distance between golden and deafening. exploring that now.
 
Its called conditioning. You can't stand people for very long if your never around them. Other than that don't guilt trip yourself for not being there. It's completely your choice not theirs.
 
I share your dilemma. I dread social gatherings but then jealous of those who frequent them. Just would like a few friends I feel comfortable with and can chat to on a personal level. Occasionally I meet someone I click with and can talk forever with (one on one), but they are usually recluses too, so hey. Part of why I came here was to find people like myself to hang with and share thoughts. Anyway... we're here for you :)
 
LooseEnds said:
I share your dilemma. I dread social gatherings but then jealous of those who frequent them. Just would like a few friends I feel comfortable with and can chat to on a personal level. Occasionally I meet someone I click with and can talk forever with (one on one), but they are usually recluses too, so hey. Part of why I came here was to find people like myself to hang with and share thoughts. Anyway... we're here for you :)
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=o)
 
the older I get, the less lonesome. I expended all the spoons I have trying to accommodate other people but it wasn't enough.
 
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