The Good Student?

[gana24]

I was curious if almost all members used to be either "the studious student" or "the natural genuis" in school.

I was definitely not a natural, but I found the well-performing academic students to be pretty friendly and I think it's sort of a safer identity.


How about you?

I think I was just a studious student, not really a genius that I am aware but I was always regarded as smart in the family and throughout my secondary school but I put a lot of effort and time into studying that I was able to get the best grades. I am definitely not a natural genius (the reason why I could not accept the diagnosis of Asperger's since it is known as Genius Autism anyway) but I think a lot (sometimes overthink) and sometimes put too much effort into coursework where it is not even appreciated. I was my best to be the good student (well-behaved, quiet, good academic performance) but some teachers were particularly hostile to me, and I could not think of any reasons other than my race or my physical appearance or could it be that I was weird? (I would never know the reason by the way).

 

[gana24]

I was never a Good Student. Took most of my life to figure out why. It's probably too long a story to post, but while I was a terrible student, I still, achieved my childhood dream of becoming an Electronics Design Engineer.

This never happened because of any schooling. Totally unable to achieve any kind of a degree. Most of my education occurred at home in my room, at the library, under a tree, etc. I guess, from birth I was obsessed with electronics; electronics theory, circuitry, and all things electronic. I am not a genius. I am mentally very slow Diagnosed as mentally retarded. My "strength" if you want to call it that is just obsession. I spent most of my life buried in books. I would dig old radios, TV, etc. out of trash bins, dissect them and remove all the parts. I would study and experiment with all those parts. I was gleefully in heaven hidden away with all my parts and books.

In school I realized that I couldn't learn simple algebra. I knew that I would never be able to get a degree which I knew was a requirement for being an engineer.

Once I found a new TV in the trash bin behind a department store. I dug it out and took it home and fixed it. I then took it back to the store and showed them that I fixed it. The store manager hired me to fix all the returned or bad-out-of-the box items. This was the start of my electronics repair career.

Finally, I got a job at an actual electronics design firm. My job was to assemble prototype circuits designed by the engineers for them to test their designs before finalizing a circuit. The engineer would give me a schematic and I was to assemble the prototype. I absolutely loved that job because I had my own very quiet workspace. I felt I was in heaven.

Then, due to my autistic social blindness, I almost got fired. Once when an engineer handed me a schematic, I told him that it would not work and pointed out the error on his schematic. He was highly offended. Before I was fired, the boss looked at the schematic and my "fix". He wanted me to go ahead and built the original design and another with my "fix". Sure enough the original did not work, but mine did. After a few more of these instances, the boss said that all designs must be reviewed by me before any prototype is built.

After a few years, I was then promoted to senior electronics design engineer. My childhood dream.
Not a good student, not a smart person. I was even diagnosed as mentally retarded.
Sometimes things that traditionally require smarts can be achieved with just a heavy dose of autistic obsession.

In my case, I had some interest in electronics after briefly learning about them and chose EE degree but now I hate engineering as a whole. Have never assembled or fixed anything and working in a MNC Engineering for Industrial Training in RF Sustaining (though it was just LabVIEW project and I stuck and failed miserably), I am having my third autistic burnout episode. I wish I could enjoy and have fun with electronics as well. It is only now that I am realizing that I actually like Natural Science and regret choosing the engineering path.

 

[UFO]

I wasn't initially a good student. Speaking now in American school system terms.

At grade school I skipped classes and didn't even try to get good grades. Reading and participating felt useless because I couldn't memorize things (dates, places, names...)

At high school it began to be less of remembering things and more of understanding, so I could improvise my exam answers and found out that I can actually get good grades even without reading much of the school material.

But it wasn't until the college I stopped skipping classes and started to actually read and ponder material for A-grades, which began now come easily if I just get around exhausting exam events. However, writing essays became harder at higher levels of education, and multi-choice answers were something I really like to have, mostly because I often have hardship to be sure what the question actually is (overthinking...).

Graduated around the top of my class in Electronics Engineering, ended up working with high power systems, was always terrified when I read about problems in nuclear power plants using those power systems, switched to software career, was still terrified when I read about problems in nuclear power plants using my software, burned out, became employee to the startup founded by my old co-workers, made a nice retirement money, retired, back to school to fill gaps in my knowledge...

Now, when I returned to the college (university actually, bachelor's / master's combined program in accounting and finance), I thought that getting a title was optional because I am not looking for a career anymore, so I eventually ended up just going thru courses that interest me and then drop out. Doing only one or two courses that I loved per period felt still straining, I don't understand how I managed thirty years ago to do three courses that I hate per period and still get good grades. Something has changed.

 

[Poppy98]

I think I was just a studious student, not really a genius that I am aware but I was always regarded as smart in the family and throughout my secondary school but I put a lot of effort and time into studying that I was able to get the best grades. I am definitely not a natural genius (the reason why I could not accept the diagnosis of Asperger's since it is known as Genius Autism anyway) but I think a lot (sometimes overthink) and sometimes put too much effort into coursework where it is not even appreciated. I was my best to be the good student (well-behaved, quiet, good academic performance) but some teachers were particularly hostile to me, and I could not think of any reasons other than my race or my physical appearance or could it be that I was weird? (I would never know the reason by the way).

They say that it takes a lot of work and social know-how for society to be willing to permit someone to be smart.

I think that might explain it. Smart people have to constantly make sure they're not accidentally showing their intelligence to the less-intelligent, it's beyond mere social graces that are needed.

 

[Poppy98]

and multi-choice answers were something I really like to have, mostly because I often have hardship to be sure what the question actually is (overthinking...).

Same.

I couldn't memorize things (dates, places, names...)

My memory is terrible. Is this an autism thing or just a coincidence?

 

[Outdated]

My memory is terrible. Is this an autism thing or just a coincidence?

Coincidence I'm afraid. I have the abnormal memory that is more often stereotypified with autism. I never had to study anything in my life. I read it once and I remember it, job done.

 

[JayLapointe]

Read lot of biographies over the years see pattern person does poorly in high school, may even drop out does to university later becomes prominent scientist. In my case and older brothers head of guidance department wrote letters on our behalf, got both of us accepted into university. I passed on going this route Brother, he went into engineering passed all courses refuse to write final paper, as he did not go the university for a piece of paper, rather knowledge. got his degree 15 years later. Professor's recognized his genius.

Somewhat reminds me of my own misadventures in learning. In High School I was convinced I'd never be going the sciences route, I was set on pursuing an Anthropology degree, Bachelor of Arts to be specific. So in High School despite my protests to my "Guidance Councilor" I got stuck with all hard core sciences in my final semester. Having already been accepted to University for Arts, I didn't see the point in Calculus so I just didn't do the course. I went to class sure but I never paid attention or even attempted the work.

Plot twist though, Final year of University I realized there was no future in Anthropology and never went into the field. I'd have had to get a Masters or PhD, likely both, and about the only career path would have been teaching Anthro. I actually worked in bars/restaurants until my mid 20's when I went back to school. This time College for an Engineering Technologist diploma (engineers assistant). Thanks to a particular professor with a knack for explaining math in a way that works for me, Calculus became one of my best courses. I actually ended up graduating just a couple points off from honors, my final project/presentation did take top marks.

Now in terms of studying, I never had to learn how to study until this past year when I started taking university courses again on my own. I always found that by paying attention in classes, especially the questions my fellow students were asking, I just always absorbed everything I needed to know. Very rarely would I ever actually need to ask any questions myself.

Online learning with just a recorded lecture and a text book and no peers to talk to is a very different beast. But I still ended the Intro Psych course with an 86. Since learning I was autistic I decided to go back to get a Psychology degree so that I can eventually work with other neurodivergents who may have issues with addiction as well.

 

[Hypnalis]

They say that it takes a lot of work and social know-how for society to be willing to permit someone to be smart.

I think that might explain it. Smart people have to constantly make sure they're not accidentally showing their intelligence to the less-intelligent, it's beyond mere social graces that are needed.

This certainly happens, but it isn't generally true.

There's no automatic downside to displaying intelligence and/or knowledge.
But arrogance and condescension are usually unpopular.

OTOH Aspies can unintentionally create problems due to our deficit in social skills, especially as early adults (i.e. after the social "free pass" children and early teens get, but before finding a way to interact with NT's as adults).

I don't think there's any fix for this as yet, but it's quite possible that training for HFAs will be developed and/or propagated fairly soon, now that it's being diagnosed a lot earlier.

The higher frequency of fake ASDs due to "competitive intersectionalism" is a negative factor, but IMO that will have largely self-corrected by the end of the decade.

 

[Outdated]

There's no automatic downside to displaying intelligence and/or knowledge.

That is my experience once I left school and got out in to the real world. In general most people recognise high intellect and will often ask my help in solving problems. In the real world I'm appreciated.

But arrogance and condescension are usually unpopular.

In my society this will turn entire communities against you, and there's a fine line between appearing confident and being arrogant.

Lately on youtube there's been a few videos talking about Aussies and Tall Poppy Syndrome where we cut down anyone that appears to be getting ahead in life. Not true at all, we celebrate successful people but we severely punish arrogance. So if you see someone complaining about Tall Poppy Syndrome in Australia you can take it for granted that the entire Aussie population has already assessed their character and found it wanting.

 

[vergil96]

I don't think intelligence is perceived in a negative manner or that you have to downplay it.

You shouldn't behave like The Good Doctor. But it's not about his intelligence, it's about his lack of tact. It's not about what you say, but when, to whom and how.

I don't have any severe hangups about school or my career. I didn't really like school, but I don't need extreme interest in my job to stay engaged.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

Too quote PIerre Burton It An't bragging if true.

 

[Poppy98]

OTOH Aspies can unintentionally create problems due to our deficit in social skills, especially as early adults (i.e. after the social "free pass" children and early teens get, but before finding a way to interact with NT's as adults).

I had never thought of the possibility that teens are given more leeway, but it would make sense.

 

[Ken]

OTOH Aspies can unintentionally create problems due to our deficit in social skills, especially as early adults (i.e. after the social "free pass" children and early teens get, but before finding a way to interact with NT's as adults).

What is OTOH?

Also, I never, ever experienced any social "free pass" - ever. Quite the opposite.

I was never diagnosed as autistic. I was diagnosed as retarded, but there was certainly no free pass with that either. I was diagnosed as mentally retarded, because no one in my area knew anything about autism during that time.

 

[Hypnalis]

Social free passes don't cover every case, nor necessarily all of every case where they're applied.

And they're not necessarily visible
If you get 100% let off, you won't notice it. If you get polite advice instead of being nuked, you may feel the sting of the criticism and miss the fact that you got off lightly.

But you you probably got plenty along the way, especially as a child.

I can't comment on your experience OFC, but when (and where) I was brought up "Autistic" meant people who needed a lot of care (modern ASD3).

All the abbreviating acronyms come from the text-only times, and they're in Wikipedia/Wiktionary.
OTOH is "On the other hand".
BTW is "By the way"
FWIW is "For what it's worth"
etc

I found this too, but it might be slower to use it:
Appendix:English internet slang - Wiktionary, the free dictionary

 

[Hypnalis]

I had never thought of the possibility that teens are given more leeway, but it would make sense.

As I said to Ken, it's not necessarily visible.

But adults tend to be tolerant and accepting of "beginner's mistakes" in young people up to when they appear to be adult (so it's appearance and to some extent behavior rather than age).

If you have the right kind of memory, examples might pop up now and then that you can re-analyze as an adult.
But you might prefer not to re-live old mistakes.
Some "teaching moments" are worth hanging on to, but all humans have to forgive their younger selves' foolishness

 

[RemyZee]

Coincidence I'm afraid. I have the abnormal memory that is more often stereotypified with autism. I never had to study anything in my life. I read it once and I remember it, job done.

Seems I hear a lot that autistics have strong long term memories, but our short term memories can be lacking. That's what my experience is.

 

[Poppy98]

There's no automatic downside to displaying intelligence and/or knowledge

NT's feel threatened by it and feel replaceable.

 

[Outdated]

NT's feel threatened by it and feel replaceable.

Not NTs, just people that got to where they are by bullying and blustering and don't really have the intelligence to play on the same level as highly skilled professionals.

 

[Ken]

If you get 100% let off, you won't notice it. If you get polite advice instead of being nuked, you may feel the sting of the criticism and miss the fact that you got off lightly.

But you you probably got plenty along the way, especially as a child.

I never got a free pass as a child. I still suffer lots of PTSD’s from my childhood. I grew up in the mid 1950’s and 1960's. Autism was never heard of where I grew up. I was simply diagnosed as retarded, but there was no tolerance for that. During that time as a child, all I got was "nuked". I grew up in a rigidly conservative community and being different was not tolerated without a lot of punishment. I was taught to hate myself. I was taught that I was born defective and that I should stop being like that and it was my fault for being like that. However, I had no clue how to stop being like that as I had no clue what “like that” was.

Just one example; in a second grade class, I noticed the teacher started stomping loudly toward me. I was terrified. I was hoping she was going past me, but no, she stopped at my desk. She grabbed my collar and jerked me out of my seat. She shook me hard and screamed in my ear. She screamed, "Stop being so dull!!" I'll never forget those words or her screaming voice. I had no idea what she meant. I did not know what dull was much less how to not be dull. I thought perhaps I was too quiet? But, I was incapable of not being quiet. I was totally incapable of being like all the other students. That has stuck with me as just one of many PTSD’s ever since. I'm now 73 and still relive that horror often. That sort of thing was daily routine. I did not have an easy go or "free pass" in any respect. All my bullies were the teachers that delighted in the humiliation and punishment they could inflict.

Everyone does not get the same life experiences. It's not a standardized check-off list life. We are not all the same. We do not all get the same family, school, community, city or tolerances and expectations.

As far as "free passes" go, I think I got more free passes as an adult. It seems adults throughout society are more tolerant that kids and teachers in an ultra conservative small town school. Most of the teachers encouraged and participated in humiliating and bullying students that did not fit.

Sorry for the rant. I don't mean to argue your point. It just hit a trigger setting me off. I had a traumatic childhood and I don't think I'm alone.

Indeed I'm not very bright, but it's hard for me to memorize all the text only abbreviations. Never did texting. I never know if it is a real word that I don’t know or an abbreviation of something or an organization, business name or what. I'm pretty slow that way. Thanks for the information.

 

[Poppy98]

Most of the teachers encouraged and participated in humiliating and bullying students that did not fit.

I've definitely seen adults who do this. I can't even fathom how to get through to people like that.