I've never really done the dating thing. If I wanted to be with somebody I'd be already hoping it will work long before anything happens. So would I be right in saying that even though people go on many dates, each time they are technically looking for something that if they find it they'll stay with?
Would I be right in saying that dating is not just trying things out and after a few weeks or months even if things are going well is ended because, well, it's time to try something different? It's about finding somebody you can be with, and if you can't be with the one you're with, then you're supposed to stop being with them and become open to being with somebody else.
This would explain why I never liked the idea of dating, because I've always felt like I'm able to have a connection with, feel chemistry with, many different kinds of women, but that doesn't mean that we are actually compatible. So you might say that's the whole purpose of dating...to discover compatibility. Sounds good. Make sense.
I remember when I was young. I was at a dance and there was a girl who was on her own, and the guys I was with kept saying I should go and ask her to dance, and I was reluctant, but in their eyes it was just a dance and it didn't have to mean anything more.
So I eventually agreed to, and we danced, and sort of got off together, and by the end of the evening she was wearing my silver identity bracelet as if we were a thing, and the next morning I didn't really want to be with her anymore, but now had the complication of how to get the bracelet back. It wasn't easy and I didn't like doing it, as ending things seemed to be the opposite of what I was there to do.
I wanted to feel connected, make things happen, not do something that didn't feel right and then have to end it. I didn't want to lead anybody on. I wasn't just trying to have sex. I shouldn't have been persuaded. I knew it wasn't who I was.
Because I've always found it difficult to actually be with somebody in the first place. Because I've always found it difficult to even have friends. If I make a move in a girl’s direction, I need to want to know that there's a good chance that something is going to happen first. Awkwardness is just too difficult to deal with. I can't look for anything casually. I can't look to have non-emotional sex. I can't date and then just say goodbye at the end of the evening. I get attached. I care quickly. I fall in love.
I've had two marriages and a few short relationships before and in between, but none of those were based on dating. They just sort of happened. I can't really explain how. People showed interest in me. Responded to me. Conversations seemed to create connection. If I thought I had to do the dating thing the anxiety would have overwhelmed me.
Would I be right in saying that dating is not just trying things out and after a few weeks or months even if things are going well is ended because, well, it's time to try something different? It's about finding somebody you can be with, and if you can't be with the one you're with, then you're supposed to stop being with them and become open to being with somebody else.
This would explain why I never liked the idea of dating, because I've always felt like I'm able to have a connection with, feel chemistry with, many different kinds of women, but that doesn't mean that we are actually compatible. So you might say that's the whole purpose of dating...to discover compatibility. Sounds good. Make sense.
I remember when I was young. I was at a dance and there was a girl who was on her own, and the guys I was with kept saying I should go and ask her to dance, and I was reluctant, but in their eyes it was just a dance and it didn't have to mean anything more.
So I eventually agreed to, and we danced, and sort of got off together, and by the end of the evening she was wearing my silver identity bracelet as if we were a thing, and the next morning I didn't really want to be with her anymore, but now had the complication of how to get the bracelet back. It wasn't easy and I didn't like doing it, as ending things seemed to be the opposite of what I was there to do.
I wanted to feel connected, make things happen, not do something that didn't feel right and then have to end it. I didn't want to lead anybody on. I wasn't just trying to have sex. I shouldn't have been persuaded. I knew it wasn't who I was.
Because I've always found it difficult to actually be with somebody in the first place. Because I've always found it difficult to even have friends. If I make a move in a girl’s direction, I need to want to know that there's a good chance that something is going to happen first. Awkwardness is just too difficult to deal with. I can't look for anything casually. I can't look to have non-emotional sex. I can't date and then just say goodbye at the end of the evening. I get attached. I care quickly. I fall in love.
I've had two marriages and a few short relationships before and in between, but none of those were based on dating. They just sort of happened. I can't really explain how. People showed interest in me. Responded to me. Conversations seemed to create connection. If I thought I had to do the dating thing the anxiety would have overwhelmed me.
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