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Terrible jokes :)

Lou Laurinen

Lou Laurinen

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
Some of the worst, and silliest jokes I've collected from my partner, friends, family, and others lately. They are absolutely terrible, and a lot of them are bordering on anti-jokes, but they made me chuckle. Enjoy!


What do you get when you go swimming in Iceland?
Hypothermia


What sounds like a firetruck, but is not a firetruck?
An ambulance


What do you get when you talk to a houseplant and it talks back?
You get help.


What did Old McDonald say when he stepped on a pitchfork?
E-I-E-I Ouch!


What do you call a cross between a cat and a banana?
Nothing, that's scientifically impossible.


What do you call a promiscuous whale?
Moby Dick


Knock knock
Who's there?
Ah
Ah Who?
Cover your mouth when you sneeze, that's disgusting!


Knock knock
Who's there?
Trick or treat!
Go home, you're half a year early

---

And a gem from my hockey coach:

What do you call a smart hockey player?
Someone who is in the wrong profession
 
Azeth said:
Gotta admit. These qualify as facepalm worthy Dad Jokes. Though two of them did get a chuckle out of me.
Click to expand...
Lol, yeah. The hockey player one made me laugh pretty hard too.

My partner is the king of dad jokes. His jokes are the worst but I always laugh because they're admittedly a little clever.
 
What's made of leather and sounds like a sneeze?
A shoe.

What's the evidence that diarrhea is hereditary?
It goes through your jeans.

What do you call a fake turd?
A shampoo.

If you think mondays are depressing, just wait 5 days
It will be a sadder day

How biologists call fishes with no eye?
Fshes.

Why a piece of toast was caged in a zoo?
Because it was bread on captivity.

What's the fastest liquid?
Milk. It's pasteurized before you know it.

How do you confuse a blonde?
Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.
 
Lou Laurinen said:
What do you get when you go swimming in Iceland?
Hypothermia
Click to expand...

LOL...you're giving my autistic brain a workout. All I keep thinking of are the combination of geysers and some very hot springs in Iceland.

"I am not programmed to respond in that area. Norman, please coordinate."

I know....I'm such a nerd. :rolleyes:
 
Judge said:
LOL...you're giving my autistic brain a workout. All I keep thinking of are the combination of geysers and some very hot springs in Iceland.

"I am not programmed to respond in that area. Norman, please coordinate."

I know....I'm such a nerd. :rolleyes:
Click to expand...
Would've been a better joke if it involved geysers, I agree. I included that joke because of how dumb it was.
One not to repeat to my Icelandic friend, lol
 
An old lady complaining about her husband: "He won't drink milk because he says it's unhygienic but he still eats eggs.".
 
Knock knock

Who's there?

You.

Me?

Yes, you. You're talking to yourself.

---

Knock knock

Who's there?

Boo

Boo who?

Why are you crying? It's only a knock-knock joke!
 
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