Talking/over-sharing as a stim?

[Sass]

So I went to an Xmas party/dinner thing last night. It was fun, and I had a good time.

As usual though, I've woken up today with nasty anxiety over what I said and that I probably talked too much and over-shared.

After mulling it over for some hours today, I'm wondering if my nervous talking is a kind of stim, or my version of a meltdown? If I'm in a social situation and very nervous, I tend to talk rather than staying quiet (quiet would be so much better!), and whether I've had a few drinks or not, I often don't remember clearly what I've said, almost as if I wasn't really talking consciously, just making a noise to calm myself down.

Anyone else do this?

 

[On the Inside]

I don't think I do it often enough to be a stim, but I will on occasion talk too much about myself, and over share. This often happens when people ask me questions and seem interested or entertained by my answers. I'll forget to ask questions of them as a kind of check in. It is definitely from me being anxious, and I usually try to be humorous, so if they seem to be laughing, I think I'm doing OK.

But like you, I later feel I might have been a fool.

I do tend to over share on forums like this, if the topic is of interest to me, or I have had an intense experience with the topic. Happened the other day, and I felt really uncomfortable for a day or so.

 

[Sass]

There's definitely a huge element of social anxiety to it, but sometimes it feels as if I've shut myself away put my voice on autopilot lol

 

[AsheSkyler]

Yup. I can't shut up for nothin'. The more nervous or excited, the more chatty. The more on edge I am, the less pleasant the remarks get toward whoever is stressing me out. I have yet to get some people to figure out if I've stopped talking, I'm sparing their feelings because I cannot out maneuver any desire to be impolite.

 

[Maelstrom]

[QUOTE="Sass, nasty anxiety over what I said and that I probably talked too much and over-shared.
I'm wondering if my nervous talking is a kind of stim, [/QUOTE]

Answer yes, talking fever hangover is killer, welcome to my world. Loser if you don't talk, look like a fool half the time if you do. Still think the picture is cute even if you don't...maybe it's the angle or the blue tint... just do.

 

[Harrison]

If I suddenly become the 'point of interest' in a social situation I suddenly become the 'comedian, special interests' guy. Most of the time 'I' step back and just let 'him' get on with it.

 

[gonzerd]

There's definitely a huge element of social anxiety to it, but sometimes it feels as if I've shut myself away put my voice on autopilot lol

Yep, autopilot pretty much describes most conversations/interactions in daily life.

I'm obviously still doing some thinking, as I usually get through, but there's not a lot of conscious control going on. Words come out like some reflex action. It's only afterwards, when my brain's trying to reconstruct what just happened, that I realize what's been said. Sometimes followed by a sense of deep, deep shame.

It depends on the kind of get-together. I've learned to be silent over time, to keep my mouth shut in certain company. That isn't always much appreciated too, but at least there's some dignity in it I suppose. Other times the nervousness does take over, especially when it's a non-serious event and it's combined with perhaps a decent amount of happiness or giddiness. Or a false sense of safety. Something that causes the usual filters to dissolve and words to come out. At times I do like it as it's happening though, there's a certain manic quality to it. In a way it is like a stim, and once I give in to it, it's difficult to control. More a matter of sitting out the ride. Although stepping outside for a smoke helps sometimes.

And yeah, over sharing. It's the filter thing, once the gates are open, all sorts of personal things can come out. Luckily people tend to forget quite fast. And I manage to keep quiet around those who don't. Or I try to.

 

[Saragrl]

If I suddenly become the 'point of interest' in a social situation I suddenly become the 'comedian, special interests' guy. Most of the time 'I' step back and just let 'him' get on with it.

Hehee. I am the same way. When I get nervous I will try comedy too. Most the time it goes over well, but sometimes I will make a joke that is hilarious to me and not to anyone else. Then I just end up looking like the idiot being the only on in the room laughing.

If people ask questions about myself, I tend to say to much. Maybe it's because only once in a great while people allow me to talk about myself.

 

[King_Oni]

If I suddenly become the 'point of interest' in a social situation I suddenly become the 'comedian, special interests' guy. Most of the time 'I' step back and just let 'him' get on with it.

We could be relatives, lol

 

[Harrison]

We could be relatives, lol

I have Nadador as my evil twin and now you as my bro', life is looking up

 

[King_Oni]

I have Nadador as my evil twin and now you as my bro', life is looking up

'
I'm probably that really, really weird uncle, lol

 

[Naturalist]

I won't be redundant and repeat what was said above, but I can definitely relate to this. Often I think the talking is related to my inability to read people well: I don't know what they might want to talk about, or hear from me when they ask "how are you?" so I just start throwing information at them to see what gets their interest. (Quite frequently nothing does!) But it helps to have 1) a child, and 2) a pretty interesting job, because people always talk about their own kids and jobs anyway. When all I had was an obscure special interest, I was pretty well screwed

 

[On the Inside]

I do have one very good memory of this sort of thing happening.

I had taken a design class at the local university, most of the other students were senior architecture students, I was the lone "adult". This is an area of intense interest to me, so I was very engaged.

At the end of the semester, the instructor, a fairly renowned furniture designer had a party at his house for the class. After a beer or two, it ended up with everyone in the kitchen listening to him and I going back and forth about design, bikes, materials.

It actually gave me what I called an "extrovert high". It was incredibly energizing, but as is typical for me it didn't last. Back to introvert-Aspieland.

 

[GhostWriter]

I won't be redundant and repeat what was said above, but I can definitely relate to this. Often I think the talking is related to my inability to read people well: I don't know what they might want to talk about, or hear from me when they ask "how are you?" so I just start throwing information at them to see what gets their interest. (Quite frequently nothing does!) But it helps to have 1) a child, and 2) a pretty interesting job, because people always talk about their own kids and jobs anyway. When all I had was an obscure special interest, I was pretty well screwed

Yes, I think not being good at reading people is a big part of the problem, but so is anxiety- the more nervous you feel, the more you tend to talk. My Mom couldn't cope with silences- even comfortable ones- they must have made her feel inadequate or something. Her constant chatter would drive Aspie Me crazy!!
But also there's Upbringing Problems involved with Socializing Issues. We were taught not to stare at people, not to be nosey, etc. That last especially doesn't help with Conversation. & the former doesn't help one 'read' people!

 

[Maelstrom]

[QUOTE="GhostWriter, but so is anxiety- the more nervous you feel, the more you tend to talk. [/QUOTE]

yeah that over talking thing can be a killer, I do it sometimes too much in public. I don't know why, as I can entertain my self quietly for hours on end. And I hate aggressive overly talkative people. It is a habit I'm trying to get rid of. Hermit...over talk...crash and burn.. ..back to hermit again. Sigh! I don't do it all the time maybe people starvation brings it on. The funny thing was in boarding school I was given a hard time for not talking enough, but then boarding school is a little slice of H..ll for a auspie.